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Author Topic: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.  (Read 21700 times)

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G.I.R

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #20 on: June 15, 2009, 02:40:36 PM »

Al:  Ah, Home is where the Hell is...

Ed O'neil:  Married with Children.

     ----------------------------------


Quagmire:  I had the crabs once.  I had to use that medicine that came with a comb.
                ... I kept the comb thou.

Family Guy.
« Last Edit: June 15, 2009, 04:53:04 PM by G.I.R »
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BrightHeart76

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #21 on: June 15, 2009, 10:39:10 PM »

Dr. House: Your wife is having an affair.

Orange-Colored Patient: What??

Dr. House: You’re ORANGE, you moron! It’s one thing for you not to notice, but if your wife hasn’t picked up on the fact that her husband has changed colors, she’s just not paying attention. Oh, by the way, do you consume just ridiculous amounts of carrots and mega-dose vitamins? The carrots turn you yellow, the niacin turns you red. Get a set of fingerpaints and do the math… and get a good lawyer.

House

I tried finding a quote from the episode of Scrubs when they do the same case...but couldn't find one for the case...so here's a random quote from the episode anyway.

Dr. Cox: Look, I know you all curl up on your futons at night dreaming of cracking a real-life medical mystery so that some doctor/supermodel will want to touch your eruption button, but here's the bad news: This isn't a TV show. There aren't any cameras over here (motions toward the camera), real medical mysteries don't happen every week, and doctors damn sure don't look like models, they look like Rex.

Rex: What?

Dr. Cox: Chin up, you ugly bastard

Scrubs

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Eliteslayer

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #22 on: June 15, 2009, 10:51:19 PM »

Robot Devil: That was pretty brutal, even by my standards.
Bender: No backsies!

Futurama, "The Beast With a Billion Backs," right after Bender traded his firstborn son to the Robot Devil for an army of the damned.
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G.I.R

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« Last Edit: June 16, 2009, 12:58:26 PM by G.I.R »
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macaulayman

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #24 on: June 19, 2009, 12:36:26 PM »

Q; Nothing bizzare, nothing grotesque...
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DentyneIce408

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #25 on: June 19, 2009, 01:09:10 PM »

Jeff: Where do you work at?
Walter: Walmart.
Jeff: What do you there?
Walter: I greet people.
Jeff: How?
Walter: *clears throat* Welcome to Walmart. Get your sh!t and get out.

Jeff Dunham: Arguing with himself.
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G.I.R

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #26 on: June 19, 2009, 01:10:18 PM »

Mr. Praline :  It's not pinin', it's passed on.  This parrot is no more.  It has ceased to be!
                   It's expired and gone to meet its maker.
                   This is a late parrot.   It's a stiff!  Bereft of life, it rests in peace!  If you hadn't nailed him to the perch,
                   He'd be "Pushing up the Daisies"!

Shopkeeper:  Well, I'd better replace it then.

Monty Python's Flying Circus.
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G.I.R

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #27 on: June 20, 2009, 01:35:14 PM »

Homer:  Gasp!  That man is my exact double!   That dog has a puffy tail!  Heh heh heh!  Come here Puffy Tail!



The Simpsons.
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G.I.R

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #28 on: June 22, 2009, 09:10:19 PM »

Dr. Kutner:  ... It's not like we can cut off the patients head.
Dr. House:   Why not?
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Runewitt

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #29 on: June 22, 2009, 09:30:10 PM »

Fry: Have you seen Bender? Also, smell this milk.


Benders Game
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BrightHeart76

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #30 on: June 23, 2009, 12:07:42 AM »

Jill: My joints have been feeling all loose, and lately I've been feeling sick a lot. Maybe I'm overtraining; I'm doin' the marathon, like, ten miles a day,but I can't seem to lose any weight.

House: Lift up your arms

House: You have a parasite

Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?

House: Lie back and lift up your sweater.
[she lies back, and still has her hands up]

House: You can put your arms down.

Jill: Can you do anything about it?

House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
[he starts to ultrasound her abdomen]

Jill: Illegal?

House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...

Jill: Playdates?

House: [shows her the ultrasound] It has your eyes.
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G.I.R

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #31 on: June 23, 2009, 01:08:53 PM »

Elliot:     Oh, Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, Barbie, no  ... it makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively to clowns.
Elliot:     I'm sorry, that was my mistake.  I keep forgetting that you're a horrible, horrible person.
Dr. Cox: Ooh! Backbone Barbie!
« Last Edit: June 24, 2009, 01:04:49 PM by G.I.R »
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Evangelion Xgouki

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #32 on: June 23, 2009, 01:31:11 PM »

There are FOUR lights!

Cpt. Jean-Luc Picard

Star Trek: The Next Generation
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Runewitt

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #33 on: June 23, 2009, 08:27:42 PM »

Peter: Y'know what else really grinds my gears? When I can't find the 'Droids im looking for.

Storm trooper: y'know, me too.


Family guy
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BrightHeart76

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #34 on: June 23, 2009, 09:29:55 PM »

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!

Ed McMahon (may he rest in peace)
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G.I.R

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #35 on: June 24, 2009, 12:47:26 AM »

Alf:  Ha!  I kill me!
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Liquid

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #36 on: June 24, 2009, 09:51:44 AM »

"Beer the cause of and solution to all of life's little problems."

- Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
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G.I.R

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #37 on: June 25, 2009, 12:48:06 AM »

Homer:  I felt so left out.
Marge:   Kids can be cruel Homer.
Bart:     They Can?!?  Thanks Mom!
Lisa:      (Off Camera)  OW!  Cut it out Bart!

The Simpsons.
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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #38 on: June 25, 2009, 06:02:33 PM »

And I will love you and squeeze you and call you George

- From a Bugs Bunny cartoon


"Trying is the first step towards failure."

- Homer Simpson


You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is, 'never try'.

- Homer Simpson


"Beer. Now there's a temporary solution."

- Homer Simpson


"Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button."

- Homer Simpson


Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel.

- Homer Simpson


"Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!"

- Homer Simpson


DOUGH the stuff you buy for beer
RAY the guy who buys me beer
ME the guy who drinks the beer
FAR the distance to my beer
LA la la beer
TEA, no thanks im drinking beer
SO that will bring us back to
(looks into empty glass)

- Homer Simpson


"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed."

- Homer Simpson


"I want answers now or I want them eventually!"

- Homer Simpson


Run like Mexican water through a first-time tourist.

- Al Bundy


Love is not only blind but stupid.

- Al Bundy


That's what being a man is like: making mistakes and not caring.

- Al Bundy


I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

- Chandler (Friends)


Spongebob: What do you usually do when I’m gone?
Patrick: Wait for you to come back.

-Spone Bob Square Pants


Joey: Wow,I never knew a woman's handbag would look good on me, a man!
Rachel: Exactly, unisex!
Joey: No, you need sex, I had sex a couple of days ago.
Rachel: No, Joey. U-N-I Sex.
Joey: Well, how can you say no to that?

- Friends


"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

- Drew Carey
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BrightHeart76

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Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
« Reply #39 on: June 27, 2009, 12:30:20 AM »

Dale: BILL!! Bill, you have to be the stupidest man on the planet to think this is a good idea! Have you seen what you're wearing?! That outfit makes you look like a sequined trainwreck! LOOK AT YOU! You're part of a twelve-headed jackass! This choir is the feces that is produced when shame eats too much stupidity! You people make me envy the deaf and the BLIND!! UNDERWEAR!! MONEY! FAT!! (passes out)

King of the Hill
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