The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.

Started by G.I.R, May 26, 2009, 12:59:57 PM

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Lucifargundam

"I'm so happy, it must be my birthday!"
"Smells like someone made a fluffy..."
"Soosha...soosha...sooooosha..."
-Space Ghost Coast to Coast

"Uh-oh, HOT DOG!"
-Mad TV


if that the master a 'prentice have,
Entirely then that he him tell,
That he the craft ably may know,
Wheresoever he go under the sun.

G.I.R

Capt. Jack:   ... and before we go any further, who the Hell orders pizza under the name "Torchwood"?

Torchwood.

Runewitt

Kisuke: You're wondering if i'm still alive? is that what you're wondering? well to be honest i'm not really sure myself.


Bleach
Brevity is the soul of Wit.
Confusion is the soul of Runewitt.

G.I.R

Brother Cavil:  Frak!


Dean Stockwell: Battlestar Galactica

G.I.R

Herbert:  Boys!  Boys! We can settle this like reasonable and sexy teenagers.  Whoever can swallow the most Tylenol PM wins!


Family Guy.

michiko nakano

Joey: Hey Ross, I got a science question. If the homosapiens, were in fact, "homosapiens"... is that why they're extinct?
Ross: Joey, homosapiens are people.
Joey: Hey hey, I'm not judging.

-Friends

G.I.R

Peter: Yeah, Brian. You're doing the same thing that Mia Farrow did to that oriental guy that Woody Allen brought home from the circus.
Lois:   Peter, hold on to that thought because I'm gonna explain to you when we get home all the things that are wrong with that statement.


Family Guy.

Liquid

Barney: So what do you think of Robin?
Ted: I really need to work.
Barney: Say you and I went suit shopping, and you happened upon a suit. A beautiful Canadian suit. Double-breasted. Mmmmmm. You try it on, and it's not exactly the right fit for you, so you put it back. I try it on, and I don't really wanna take the same suit you had your eye on, but at the same time, I really like that suit.
Ted: Buy the suit, Barney. You clearly care about it. Tell the suit how you feel. [pats him on the shoulder]
Barney: Okay! But Ted, remember that that was your answer, because... [long pause] the suit is Robin. I know! [head exploding pantomime] Right?
Ted: I'm with you, Barney.
Barney: I know you are. Because I explained it to you. [embraces him]

- How I Met Your Mother


Barney: Jesus waited THREE days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited ONE day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I DIED yesterday!" and they'd be all, "Uhh, you look pretty alive to me, dude..." and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude'd be like "Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro..." And he's not gonna come back on a SATURDAY. Everybody's busy, doing chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, THREE. Plus it's SUNDAY, so everyone's in church already, and they're all in there like "Oh no, Jesus is DEAD", and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin' up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched, and FYI, that's when he invented the high five. That's why we wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.... True story.

- How I Met Your Mother
Tyler R. - Fanime Staff
2009 & 2010 Rovers - Suits
2011 Rovers - Graveyard Base
2012 Rovers - Second & Head of Suits
2013 Con Ops - Assistant Trouble Shooter

G.I.R

Eric:      We really need a tap here!
Michael: I've got a Swiss Army Knife...
Steven:  Great!  We can Whittle the beer out of the keg.


That Seventies Show.

Liquid

Lily: Hey.
Robin: Hey.
Lily: Marshall just ditched out on our own party. Could you get me in there? I kinda need to kill him.
Robin: Actually I can't even get myself in. I was such a dork. I get recognized one time and I start thinking I'm Julia Roberts. I'm no VIP, I'm not even an IP; I'm just a lonely little P sitting out here in the gutter.
Lily: You know something, I'd take a P in the gutter over Julia Roberts any day.

- How I Met Your Mother



Victoria: Why don't we just... dance. And have a great time. And when it's over, never see each other again.
Ted: Unless--
Victoria: No. No unless. No e-mails, no phone numbers, not even names. Tonight, we'll make a memory that will never be tarnished. Then, when we're old and gray, we'll look back on this moment... and it'll be perfect.
Ted: Wow... Okay I'm in.
Victoria: [enthusiastically] Okay!
Ted: I guess, uh, what, we'll need fake names?
Victoria: Um... you can call me Buttercup. [Ted and "Buttercup" shake hands]
Ted: Pleased to meet you, Buttercup. I'm... Lando Calrissian. [Victoria laughs] Wow, this is kind of exciting. Our names will forever be shrouded in--
Barney: [with bridesmaid on his arm] Hey Ted, Ted, Ted, look! I got a bridesmaid! Ted Ted look, Ted! The second hottest bridesmaid! Ted, look! See you Ted.
Ted: [to Victoria] So I'm Ted.
Victoria: Victoria.

- How I Met Your Mother
Tyler R. - Fanime Staff
2009 & 2010 Rovers - Suits
2011 Rovers - Graveyard Base
2012 Rovers - Second & Head of Suits
2013 Con Ops - Assistant Trouble Shooter

G.I.R


JohnnyAR


G.I.R

Mike Wallace:  I'm Mike Wallace...
Morly Safer:    I'm Morley Safer...
Ed Bradley:     ... and I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on 60 Minutes.

Liquid

Jon Stewart: NAMBLA!

- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Tyler R. - Fanime Staff
2009 & 2010 Rovers - Suits
2011 Rovers - Graveyard Base
2012 Rovers - Second & Head of Suits
2013 Con Ops - Assistant Trouble Shooter

DentyneIce408

Jackie on Laurie: Innocent? Okay Eric, no offence, but your sister is as slutty as they come. 
Kelso: Eric, are you gonna let her say that about your sister? 
Eric: Sure.
-------------------------------------
Kelso: You know, Hyde, seeing you work hard and take pride in what you do... I lost a lot of respect for you, man. 
Fez: You used to be my hero. My lazy American hero.
-------------------------------------
Kelso: Guys, guess who's taking Pam Macey to the prom? 
Hyde: Anyone with a quarter? 
Kelso: NO, ME! 
Fez: Darn, and I had a quarter, too.
-------------------------------------
Kitty: I don't know if we have enough ice, Eric took a whole tubful. 
Red: He took a tub of ice? 
Kitty: Oh, the kids are making a volcano! 
Midge: Right, that's why Donna left with all the plastic cups. 
Red: Plastic cups? 
Midge: Sure, plastic volcano cups. 
Bob: If I didn't know better, I'd say they were having a kegger!...[looks at Red]...Oh Jeez!

That 70's Show
- Shall I leave my mark whether it's good or bad?
- As long as people remember me famous or infamous,
- I  will remain and roam in this world Alive or Dead.

G.I.R

#75
Cleveland:  I gotta stop taking my baths during Peter's shenanigans.


Bob Barker: Alright now, let's start the bidding. Jennifer? How much do you bid on the dinette set?
Jennifer:      Uh...$675 Bob.
Bob Barker: $675. Steven?
Steven:       $780.
Bob Barker: $780. Tammy?
Tammy:      $781.
Steven:       (to Tammy) F*** you!


Family Guy.

G.I.R

Kitty Foreman: Eric, how many times have I told you, don't poke the bear...            Don't poke the bear!


That Seventies Show.

Liquid

Marshall: If I could nail a celebrity it would be Lily. She's the star of my heart.
Lily: Aww. For me it would be Hugh Jackman.

- How I Met Your Mother



Ted: Chinese?
Barney: I don't like Chinese.
Ted: Indian?
Barney: I just said I don't like Chinese.
Ted: Indian isn't Chinese.
Barney: Weird meat, funny music, side of rice. Why are we splitting hairs?
Ted: Mexican?
Barney: I just said I don't like Chinese!

- How I Met Your Mother



Barney: [in old man make-up] You there, what's your name?
Woman: Cindy.
Barney: Cindy. I knew it! You're the Cindy, the one that can change everything...or spell our inevitable doom. Now listen to me, Cindy. I am Barney Stinson. And I am on an urgent mission from the future.
Woman: The future?
Barney: The future! And I can prove it! In exactly four seconds, the woman at that booth is going to slap that man.
[Robin slaps Ted, Woman is amazed]
Barney: In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door. Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane...but in order to save the planet, you need to sleep with him. Tonight.
Woman: What?
Barney: Sleep with Barney Stinson, tonight, in whatever way he wants it...or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming that saves the human race!
Woman: What are you talking about?
Barney: I have no time to explain. I have to get back to the reality accelerator before the vortex closes. Only you can save us, Cindy. I must away!
[Barney returns a few minutes later, looking like himself]
Woman: Oh my god! You're-oh my god! Can I buy you a drink?
Barney: Well, I guess I have time for one drink, and forty-five minutes to an hour of some other activity. But after that I have to get back to, uh, a secret research project I'm working on.
Woman: Global warming?
Barney: My god. How did you know that?

- How I Met Your Mother
Tyler R. - Fanime Staff
2009 & 2010 Rovers - Suits
2011 Rovers - Graveyard Base
2012 Rovers - Second & Head of Suits
2013 Con Ops - Assistant Trouble Shooter

G.I.R

#78
(Refering to a car in front of a witnesses house)


Horatio Caine:      Mm-hmm. Town car, tinted windows. Take a guess.
Detective Hagen:  Fan-belt inspectors?
Horatio Caine:      Nope. U.S. Marshals. Witness protection baby-sitters.


C.S.I. Miami





G.I.R

#79
Hank:    C'mon Peggy, your still the smartest person in Arlen...
Peggy:   Well Whoopty-do!  I'm the smartest Hillbilly from Hillbilly Town!


King of the Hill