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Author Topic: Needing to process after taking the Women's Self-Defense Class (trigger warning)  (Read 1178 times)

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anonymousfanimefan

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I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, so feel free to delete or move elsewhere.

I took the Fanime Women's Self-Defense Class at the Dojo. Let me start by saying that this is a really good class with lots of practical tips on how to escape an attacker. I would still recommend taking it despite my personal experience which I will describe below.

During the course of the 2.5 hour class, you learn tactics on how to escape an assailant. You're also imparted with the confidence that you can do this. The "final" involves going one-by-one through the group of instructors while one randomly grabs you, chokes you, or places you in a choke hold. You then have 10 seconds to escape using the skills you learned.

I volunteered early and failed, which in itself was okay. What really destroyed me was sitting back down and watching as everyone else in the class passed. In the end, I was the only person left on the "non-pass" side of the room, and had to take the final a second time with everyone pity cheering for me.

After class, I immediately went to the bathroom and broke down. I went home and broke down again. When I woke up the next day I broke down a third time. Growing up, I was always the weak one, then eventually the incompetent one. Being singled out in front of 40+ people as the only fail while people half my size/weight passed with flying colors felt awful, and I truly felt helpless.

Sob story aside, I am thankful for the experience.

Yes, I still feel awful and it will likely take days to be emotionally okay after what happened. Yes, my back and neck still hurt from the choke hold. However, this was a wake-up call to get better, because right now, I probably won't be able to defend myself when needed.

Given what was circled around social media prior to Fanime about females being targeted, now is the time to learn. And no, it won't be easy and may trigger a bunch of emotions that will leave you a wreck for days. However, it's better to address those feelings now so you can be equipped for the unexpected.

I'll probably take another self-defense class in the future, likely in an environment where I won't humiliate myself in a room full of 40+ people. However, I wouldn't trade away my Fanime experience, otherwise I never would have known how vulnerable I really am.
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echoshadow

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Don't feel too bad about this. It was only one day, nor just a few hours of "training". You do have the right mind set to seek out more classes. But like with anything physical, you need time and practice.

Keep in mind that you did learn something even if you failed you still know moves that you didn't know before. That alone gives you more knowledge and where not to be if you are in such a situation.

My own sister had the same experience when she took a self defense class. And she's a very small frame girl. For her the instructor told her if she feels under powered the best course of action would be to carry a legal personal weapon. You can fill in the blank on what that would be.

For her the piece of mind she got back with having a legal personal self defense weapon made her feel she a level shot on the playing field.  But then again she did have a nice week long course that covered everything.

Keep your head up and think in positive attitude about this. It's like taking dancing lessons your fist go at it always go bad. Or your moves are not as polished. By your second or thrid time you would be 50% better, and you would only improve as you keep learning.

Remember take it with a grain of salt, you did take a short self defense class at an anime con, not saying it's bad or anything like that. But it was just a big blanket of basic self defense moves meant for a one size fits all type of deal. I'm sure if the class was another 2 hours longer I'm sure you would have walked away with a better out look.

I hope I didn't sound negative by all this I just know where your coming from as my sister had the same reaction the fist day of class.

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WorldDominationStudios

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Why was this even a thing at Fanimecon? It has absolutely nothing to do with anime, sci-fi, fantasy, video games, or anything else even remotely related to nerd culture.
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cassz

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Why was this even a thing at Fanimecon? It has absolutely nothing to do with anime, sci-fi, fantasy, video games, or anything else even remotely related to nerd culture.

The connection is by way of combat and martial arts, which is common in the action anime, manga, comics, sci-fi, fantasy, and gaming we enjoy. Self-Defense for Women has been an event at Fanime since 2009 when they first established The Dojo as an event venue, and it sounds like it continues to be a popular class nine years later.
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aetherltd

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I'll probably take another self-defense class in the future.
Good. Don't give up. Everybody's first time at a dojo is tough.
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aetherltd

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Why was this even a thing at Fanimecon? It has absolutely nothing to do with anime, sci-fi, fantasy, video games, or anything else even remotely related to nerd culture.
There's a whole genre of anime devoted to martial arts. Watch "Yawara" (124 epsodes). Look up who "Yawara-chan" is, and watch some of her bouts.
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otakuya

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There's a whole genre of anime devoted to martial arts. Watch "Yawara" (124 epsodes). Look up who "Yawara-chan" is, and watch some of her bouts.
And certain dealers dedicated to swords and other weapons. It's a celebration and honor of Japanese art, and martial arts and combat arts are huge parts of culture.
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WorldDominationStudios

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Why was this even a thing at Fanimecon? It has absolutely nothing to do with anime, sci-fi, fantasy, video games, or anything else even remotely related to nerd culture.

The connection is by way of combat and martial arts, which is common in the action anime, manga, comics, sci-fi, fantasy, and gaming we enjoy.

Then why is it women-only?
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