The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.

Started by G.I.R, May 26, 2009, 12:59:57 PM

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G.I.R

 Peter: You know, Mike Tyson once beat up his wife.  But there's nothing funny about that.

                                                   ... hehehehehHEHEHEheheh!



Family guy.

Liquid

Robin: What's my "but"? You know, I'm really nice, but...
Ted [voiceover]: But she's afraid of commitment.
Lily [voiceover]: But she's a gun nut.
Barney [voiceover]: But she's... Canadian.
Marshall [voiceover]: But she doesn't like Field of Dreams.
All: I can't think of anything.

-How I Met Your Mother


Marshall: Ted, how many times have I told you to put the lid back on the peanut butter jar?! It's this inconsiderate, immature jackassry that makes me feel like I'm living in The Real World House! And not the early days when they all had jobs and social consciences, I'm talking about Hawaii, and after! I can't take it anymore! Ted, Lily and I are married now! It's time! We're getting our own place!
Lily:... Actually, I left the lid off, sorry, baby.

-How I Met Your Mother
Tyler R. - Fanime Staff
2009 & 2010 Rovers - Suits
2011 Rovers - Graveyard Base
2012 Rovers - Second & Head of Suits
2013 Con Ops - Assistant Trouble Shooter

G.I.R

Cat:    Hey, this is mine, That's mine. All this is mine!  I'm claiming all this as mine! Except that bit, I don't want that bit.
          But all the rest of this is mine! Hey, this has been a really good day! I've eaten five times, I've slept six times, and I've made a lot of things mine!
          Tomorrow, I'm gonna see if I can't have sex with something!


Red Dwarf

Liquid

Lily: We should come up with a whole new last name.
Marshall: Oh, that's easy; Lily and Marshall Skywalker.
Lily: Lily and Marshall Hasselhoff.
Marshall: Oh, got it. Lily and Marshall Awesome. Hey have you met the Awesomes? Lily, Marshall their son Totally and their daughter Freaking?

- How I Met Your Mother
Tyler R. - Fanime Staff
2009 & 2010 Rovers - Suits
2011 Rovers - Graveyard Base
2012 Rovers - Second & Head of Suits
2013 Con Ops - Assistant Trouble Shooter

Runewitt

Fry: Why am i sticky and naked? did i miss something fun?

Futurama
Brevity is the soul of Wit.
Confusion is the soul of Runewitt.

Liquid

[During Ted's blind date with Jen, they talk about menu choices]
Jen: So, any thoughts on food?
Ted: Yeah. You want to share the oysters?
Jen: I'd love to share the oysters.
Ted: Good, 'cause if you wouldn't that would be...mighty shellfish.
Jen: [shallow-faced] Wow, that's bad.
Ted: That's why it's funny.

- How I Met Your Mother
Tyler R. - Fanime Staff
2009 & 2010 Rovers - Suits
2011 Rovers - Graveyard Base
2012 Rovers - Second & Head of Suits
2013 Con Ops - Assistant Trouble Shooter

G.I.R

#86


Detective Stabler:   (over a store P.A.)  Attention all store employees, would The Master Baiter please come up to the front of the store.

(Emploees thruout the store  have disturbed looks on their faces)

Detective Benson:  Not "A Masturbator", "The Master Baiter"



Christopher Meloni / Mariska Haggerty:  Law and Order SVU.

Haruka

"Attention restaurant customers; testicles.  That is all."
-Peter, Family Guy

"This isn't chocolate.  It's carob.  Your dog's gonna be fine.  But your Mom's a dirty hippie."
-Mutt, Robot Chicken

"Geez Kyle, why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem?"
-Cartman, South Park

"F--k the Commies and their pussy-ass space station."
-newscaster, South Park

"I'm selling my used panties online."
-Sailor Moon, Robot Chicken

"And that's why I had to kill Daddy.  He was trying to give a mouse a cookie."
-Robot Chicken

Join me at Ani-Jam 2011 in Fresno, CA.  August 20-21

G.I.R

Ironhide: Wow, Prime sure has to urinate a lot.
Prowl: Yea! He must be French, cuz he's-a-peein'! Ha ha ha!
Ironhide: Uhh, I think that's "*You're* a-peein'"
Prowl: He he he... but... I'm not.
Ironhide: Ugh, such a Retardicon.


Robot Chicken

G.I.R

Falcon Heene:  You guys said...  uh we did this for the show.


CNN NEWS

Liquid

#90
Tracy: Dress every day like you're going to get murdered in those clothes.
- 30 Rock

Tracy: I'm whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know that in the morning, they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good.
- 30 Rock

Kenneth: Oh no Sir, I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name.
Jack: That's Republican. We count those.
- 30 Rock

Kenneth: Mr. Jordan, Ms. Maroney. You wanted to see me?
Jenna: Kenneth, Tracy and I want to do something for the crew, you know, to thank them for being sick.
Tracy: We didn't know what to get them, but then I had a brain storm. It was a bad one, Jenna had to put my tongue guard in.
Jenna: But after he stabilized we decided we'd get them all hot soup.
Tracy: So... go do that.
Kenneth: Oh, all the other pages have gone home sick, I can't make any runs right now. Maybe the two of you could go get the soup.
[long pause]
Jenna: I don't understand.
Kenneth: Well, I'm saying you could get your wallet...
Tracy: My what?!
Kenneth: ...and go downstairs to the basement...
Tracy: No!
Kenneth: ...and you go to the soup place, and bring the soup back up here...
Tracy: With what? My arms?
Kenneth: ...make sure to take your IDs with you.
Tracy: That'll be the worst part!
- 30 Rock

Improv Announcer: And the audience suggestion is "Sling Blade and Oprah on a date."
Liz: Mmm, I sure do like dem french fried potaters.
Jenna: No you don't, Oprah.
- 30 Rock
Tyler R. - Fanime Staff
2009 & 2010 Rovers - Suits
2011 Rovers - Graveyard Base
2012 Rovers - Second & Head of Suits
2013 Con Ops - Assistant Trouble Shooter

G.I.R

Boomhauer:   Yep.
Bill:              Yep.
Dale              Yep,                                          ... or should I say "yaddayaddayadda"?  Ha!


King of the Hill

G.I.R

#92
Mr.Smarty Smarts:  This Island is drowning in stupidity!  And you cerebrial slobs are the worst offenders!
Perri:                     What's a "Cerebral Slob"
EntrĂ©:                    It's like penut butter.
Mr.Smarty Smarts:  "PEANUT BUTTER!?!"  IT's not like "Peanut Butter" at all!  The Age of Fools is over!

Spliced

G.I.R

Dr. Rockzo:  I'm Dr. Rockzo!  The Rock 'n Roll Clown!  I do Cocaine! Heheheheheh!

Metalocalypse

Liquid

"Hey, you want to know what line doesn't work on a harp player? 'Hey baby, wanna pluck?' " - Barney Stinson

- How I Met Your Mother
Tyler R. - Fanime Staff
2009 & 2010 Rovers - Suits
2011 Rovers - Graveyard Base
2012 Rovers - Second & Head of Suits
2013 Con Ops - Assistant Trouble Shooter

Jerry

Dr. Cox: [explaining he doesn't care it's JD's last week of residency] I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah & all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everythingj every-everything that exists past present & future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions!
[turns away, then turns back]

Dr. Cox: Oh, and Hugh Jackman.

J.D.: Hugh Jackman is Wolverine! How dare he!

- Scrubs
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jerry.pang


Games, Friends & Fanime oh my! :D

G.I.R

Peggy:  Okay, who's ready for coffee maker ramen?

King of the Hill

SukebeStudios

"Conan, it's yours! See you in five years, buddy!"

-Jay Leno "The Tonight Show" (Naming Conan OBrien the next HOST)

G.I.R

Triumph:  That is a nice (insert noun here)...                                       ...For me to POOP on!

G.I.R

Homer:   All work and no play make homer something something...
Marge:    Go Crazy?
Homer:   Don't mind if I do!.  Eyaaaaaahbvlblblblbluh!

The Simpsons.