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Author Topic: Understanding male/female interactions  (Read 8159 times)

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lunarknight

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Understanding male/female interactions
« on: March 22, 2010, 01:27:17 AM »

 I really don't understand how guys and girls interact with each other.

 In my case I strictly talk to both sides in a manner of logic, comprehension, and reasoning. However when it comes to certain topics I am for the lack of better words dumbstruck in understanding why some people think certain ways.

 But I guess what I'm really curious about is why is there so much misunderstanding between the genders? and why some people can't just let go of their ego, pride, or whatever it is to just talk to each other?
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Moonblossom

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2010, 09:44:28 AM »

I think generalizing this as "guys" and "girls" is risky. I'm decidedly female, but fucked if I can understand why most of the women I know think the way they do. I tend to get along better with anyone who is honest and up front about their needs and feelings rather than being passive-aggressive and evasive - typically I find men to be more like this, but some women are too.

Tony

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2010, 10:26:00 AM »

Communication between genders can have undertones and implications that cause reactive or illogical responses.

There's "Can I borrow your pencil?" and then there's "Can I borrow your pencil?" with the hope you'll <get naked|avoid confrontation|ask a favor|...> later.  :P
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michiko nakano

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2010, 08:02:09 PM »

well maybe it has something to do with the fact that the two genders think differently.  Their thought processes are completely different... men think sequencially, and women think of all aspects of things, in a rounder sense if you will.  that doesn't sound very convincing... i'm pretty bad at explaining things.
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Glitch

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2010, 08:23:35 PM »

Oh, I can see this thread getting ugly...but I hope it doesn't.

michiko nakano

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #5 on: March 22, 2010, 08:26:10 PM »

Oh, I can see this thread getting ugly...but I hope it doesn't.
definitely.  *waits for pyronikari*
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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2010, 08:28:12 PM »

Oh, I can see this thread getting ugly...but I hope it doesn't.
definitely.  *waits for pyronikari*
You just jinxed it! *watches everything shake and rumble.*

lunarknight

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2010, 12:13:21 AM »

Oh, I can see this thread getting ugly...but I hope it doesn't.
definitely.  *waits for pyronikari*

 who?

 But anyways a part of my hypothesis is that it greatly depends on culture and up bringing of the individual. However from observations and interactions between the two genders, the relative idea and theoretical responses are generally the same most of the time depending on the subject.

 But just like Tony stated why is there that reactive and/or illogical response?
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michiko nakano

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #8 on: March 23, 2010, 11:14:38 AM »

in my knowledge, there are certain reactions to things that happen, and everyone has their own main reaction.  however, *most* males tend to have reaction A, whereas *most* females tend to have reaction B... there are always the oddballs who have a different reaction than the normal one for their group... but then people have just automatically tacked reaction A onto males, and reaction B onto females, even though the reactions aren't really loyal to just one group.  does that make sense?
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Glitch

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #9 on: March 23, 2010, 11:22:40 AM »

in my knowledge, there are certain reactions to things that happen, and everyone has their own main reaction.  however, *most* males tend to have reaction A, whereas *most* females tend to have reaction B... there are always the oddballs who have a different reaction than the normal one for their group... but then people have just automatically tacked reaction A onto males, and reaction B onto females, even though the reactions aren't really loyal to just one group.  does that make sense?
Makes absolute sense. Just like everything else in genetics, there's always some variable. The complexity of humanity.

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #10 on: March 23, 2010, 11:33:04 AM »

Its not all about sex. We each are very different and are made up of our upbringing and experiences. There is no way any of us are like any other, and because of that we all communicate differently. Some more than others. Look at the high school archetypes. I am sure the gamer boys and girls communicate much more effectively than with the jock or cheerleader.....

don't buy into that men from mars women venus stuff.

Also, look at how you communicate with different people, like a male classmate and a male friend and contrast that to your communications with a female classmate and female friend. You communicate differently with each of them because the communication is not just you, but the combined experience and culture of both of you.


It just can't be simplified into something as binary as sex.
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PyronIkari

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #11 on: March 23, 2010, 06:43:54 PM »

Eric got it for the most part, but I'll add on.

Although there are themes between males and there are themes between females, for the most part it's bad stereotyping. People state the whole "Men and females are so different" thing is mostly from people that have no real understanding in general. They don't even get males, and have no luck with females(and vice versa) so they make it into an excuse about the gender. The usually themes, are mostly gender roles based on how they're raised and societal values that are instilled into them.

People themselves though, are unique. They like what they do, they think how they do, and that's how they are. It's not because they're male or female. Take a picture of any sports crowd, and although there are generally more males, there are quite a bit of females. Look at any well done poll about gamers, and again, although there are more males, there are still quite a lot of females.

Take anything for existence, and the male to female ratio is coming closer than they were in the past. The biggest reason is that the world is growing and things aren't shunned/frowned upon as much. In the past, you were much more prosecuted for how you acted and who you were based on genre/race/etc. etc. etc.

People are people, and it's more or less about the individual. You have bad stereotypes about what woman should be like, and that's why you don't get them.

Tony's mention of illogical responses, was totally misinterpreted btw. That comment was about how people create their own scenarios, and once more that comes down to the individual and reasoning, more so than gender specifics. Which I find hilarious that the OP bit onto that and used that as reasoning to blame the other sex for being illogical. Everyone does this... and the reasoning is because they try to rationalize an event that isn't there, or is there but they don't understand.

It's something me and my friend Karrie put as "trying to think". To which we both concluded "thinking is bad". When a situation or a response is given, people try to create meaning and situations from it. "Hi there". "OH Hi, I like you jacket".

If the original person was somewhat attracted to the second, they start off a line of logic from there. "They complimented me. Does this mean they like me? Well what if it was? If they like me, should I say something? She totally does like me I bet and that was an opening for me... I should make something of this." When the other person could just be complimenting. OR, the reverse.

The first person did take it as nothing. But the second did mean it as more than just complimenting the jacket. It was supposed to be an invitation to more... but the first person doesn't pick it up... So the 2nd person goes the opposite line "Why didn't they continue? I opened a door for them to ask me out but they didn't. They must not like me, or must not be interested in me. I bet they are just making fun of me and that's why they said hi."

And it continues infinitely in every person. Everyone creates their own chains of logic, their own interpretation of everything and want to make things out of nothing, and want nothing of things that have meaning.

Both sides are retarded, male or female. Both sides expect the other to understand what they mean when they say something, both sides put hidden meaning in words, and both sides don't get them. It has nothing to do with gender, it has to do with you as an individual. Stop creating excuses as "gender" or "that type" to defend your own inability. And in the same, they have no excuse as for you not understanding if they don't say what they mean.

If you don't understand what they're saying, ask... if they don't explain, then that's their fault. If you don't understand or create your own bull reasoning after they do explain... then that's your fault.
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michiko nakano

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #12 on: March 23, 2010, 11:16:37 PM »

Both sides are retarded, male or female.
it is offensive to use the word "retarded" in that fashion.
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ewu

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #13 on: March 24, 2010, 12:02:36 AM »

it is offensive to use the word "retarded" in that fashion.

It is offensive that you have not read the rules of the forum and plainly fall to the level of Palin on Faux News
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lunarknight

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #14 on: March 24, 2010, 02:56:06 AM »

 I agree with you pyro on the concept of gender not totally being the underlining concept of misunderstandings between people. However in connection to relationships I also concur with your logic. But from my understanding and observations, gender does play a significant role to a certain extent on certain subjects.

 Of course just like you said each individual is special because of how different they are. But because of how society is designed gender does matter to a certain level. For at a early age children are reinforced to understand what gender they are and its relevance to the world around them. In this sense gender is very important to ones individuality.

 Now the thing is certain subjects can mean certain things depending on how that individual was brought up to think which is then connected back to gender. But then the problem comes if we really ever had to ability to think for ourselves without the boundaries imposed by multiple things such as religion, culture, family, certain bonds, and of course gender. 
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PyronIkari

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #15 on: March 24, 2010, 08:25:41 AM »

I agree with you pyro on the concept of gender not totally being the underlining concept of misunderstandings between people. However in connection to relationships I also concur with your logic. But from my understanding and observations, gender does play a significant role to a certain extent on certain subjects.

 Of course just like you said each individual is special because of how different they are. But because of how society is designed gender does matter to a certain level. For at a early age children are reinforced to understand what gender they are and its relevance to the world around them. In this sense gender is very important to ones individuality.

 Now the thing is certain subjects can mean certain things depending on how that individual was brought up to think which is then connected back to gender. But then the problem comes if we really ever had to ability to think for ourselves without the boundaries imposed by multiple things such as religion, culture, family, certain bonds, and of course gender. 

Do you not understand that what you said is that, it isn't about gender but environmental influence? It no longer is about gender, but the affects of things treating you a certain way, which may or may not be because of gender. Did you not see how I already addressed this, and stated how this line is disappearing in modern world? You then now deviate from your original point of interactions to pursue this line... just to state you disagree with me.
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Jun-Watarase

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #16 on: March 24, 2010, 12:10:17 PM »

I agree with you pyro on the concept of gender not totally being the underlining concept of misunderstandings between people. However in connection to relationships I also concur with your logic. But from my understanding and observations, gender does play a significant role to a certain extent on certain subjects.

 Of course just like you said each individual is special because of how different they are. But because of how society is designed gender does matter to a certain level. For at a early age children are reinforced to understand what gender they are and its relevance to the world around them. In this sense gender is very important to ones individuality.

 Now the thing is certain subjects can mean certain things depending on how that individual was brought up to think which is then connected back to gender. But then the problem comes if we really ever had to ability to think for ourselves without the boundaries imposed by multiple things such as religion, culture, family, certain bonds, and of course gender.  

Do you not understand that what you said is that, it isn't about gender but environmental influence? It no longer is about gender, but the affects of things treating you a certain way, which may or may not be because of gender. Did you not see how I already addressed this, and stated how this line is disappearing in modern world? You then now deviate from your original point of interactions to pursue this line... just to state you disagree with me.

Actually, what Lunarknight had said in his last post has plenty to do with gender, whereas what you said about people is completely right. On a larger scale, people are people, a step down, people are male and female. On an even smaller scale, people are individuals. It's true that each an every person is unique to an extent, but the extreme majority of people fit into categories, including gender.

Gender, more often than not, is a huge part of an individual's identity. While modern circumstances make things less and less gender-specific, most people are able to say "I am female" and "I am male" as their gender-identity, and whichever gender-identity a person identifies with DOES play a role in society. While people, regardless of gender, can choose to be however they want on a smaller scale... other people in society will act differently according to whichever gender they identify with. For instance, women's clothing and products are often geared towards a female audience, whose builds/physiques and tastes typically match what is put on the market, and the same for men. The way people treat men and women, especially in social environments like say... an office, differ between whichever gender they identify with. They see women walking down the hall, whether they be wearing skirts or pants, the typical person will judge "That person is female". People ultimately judge first on outward appearance. Your sex or gender is typically a huge part of your outward appearance, along with your health, your clothing, and etc.

Growing up, many of us are taught "how to be a girl" or "how to be a boy", and our upbringings are specific to whichever sex we're born with. Along the lines, we either go with it, or think "Hey, that's not me." and are transgender. A person of male sex, can be of a female gender. That person will typically be treated as a transgendered female by society, and a natal female will typically be treated as a natal female by society. It's just how things are, and people will judge upon and treat others based on their gender, even if just a little bit.

This is because, gender is part of who a person is. Even if they're androgynous, people will think about how to treat said person with that factor in mind. If the person seems like a douche, people will treat him/her like a douche. We judge people based on what they project, who they seem to be, when they show up in our lives, and how they behave. In which sense, to many, gender doesn't mean shit and people will be seen as people by some for the most part, but in even a subtle way, their gender does affect how we treat them. Even using terms like "him" or "her" is a treatment specific to gender.

At the end of the day, people are just people. What sex they were born into should not force a person to fit into whatever mold. Whoever they choose to be, including which gender they identify with, is a part of who they are and affects societies view on them. We're intellectual beings that hold less value to "what gender is" than any other animal would, so perhaps there will be a time when people evolve beyond gender, but for now, gender is who we are.

But again, on a small scale, people are not equal to one another and are complete individuals, but on a much larger scale, everyone of the same biological build and equal, period. It's too subjective and profound to say "girls/guys are like this", because it is both true and untrue. People should just get to know people as people. Most people that would find the opposite sex "hard to understand" or "different" to a great extent, typically has little social interaction with them to understand that sexes on our own view don't matter quite as much when we interact with people as individuals.
« Last Edit: March 24, 2010, 12:24:50 PM by Jun-Watarase »
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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #17 on: March 25, 2010, 05:10:24 PM »

Both sides are retarded, male or female.
it is offensive to use the word "retarded" in that fashion.

Don't play moderator. Thanks
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Steve.Young

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #18 on: March 26, 2010, 02:06:04 AM »

Communication between genders can have undertones and implications that cause reactive or illogical responses.

There's "Can I borrow your pencil?" and then there's "Can I borrow your pencil?" with the hope you'll <get naked|avoid confrontation|ask a favor|...> later.  :P

Can I borrow your pencil?  ;)
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AngelWings

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Re: Understanding male/female interactions
« Reply #19 on: April 11, 2010, 12:12:35 AM »

Hmm. I can tell who seems to have a had a public speaking or psych class. I would agree with the idea that people who have a similar frame of reference have a greater chance at understanding one another and that while people of the same gender might have that frame of reference in common that does not necessarily mean that someone of the opposite gender but other similarities in their frame of reference would have any less of a chance at forming that same understanding.


Though I would think that pencils should only be borrowed in order to be used as a murder weapon..... pens are what you write with.
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