Ladies: 5 Ways of Finding and Keeping a Guy Friend

[Jerry]

Just a random interesting article i found on the internets...

http://www.mancouch.com/734982184/ladies-5-ways-of-finding-and-keeping-a-guy-friend/

with most girls sometimes having to deal with one too many fanboys or boys in general following them around or "Not getting the hint" i figure I'd post this article as a random "for your information" when you just want to keep guy friends as JUST A Friend(s)...

i know its hard ladies, but here are some random tips from the article... and of course I'm interested what the rest of you people think too....

****

Okay, I'm a guy, so I guess I can give you some insight regarding the do's and dont's about finding and keeping guy friends.

1. Draw The Line - Always know your boundaries and keep your guy friend inform. I mean if a guy (like me) became your friend and we aren't clear about what our friendship consists of and I really really like you then that little loophole can spark a lot of hope in a guy.

2. Do NOT Flirt - Honestly, a guy can only hold back so much, so even if its a friendly flirt resist the urge. Especially if the guy is in a vulnerable emotional state. Sometimes a pat on the back or a quick hug is all good but always keep it short.

3. Always Remember, A Guy Is A Guy -  If you're asking for a guy friend, that's what you'll get. So just remember that your talking to a guy and we aren't so touchy feely (depends because sometimes I am) about certain things (body weight, etc). I mean, yeah, we can give a comforting hug or a shoulder to lean on but don't get used to it like you would do to most of your girl-friends.

4. Mean What You Say And Be Clear - Plain and simple if you say something as "I LOVE YOU" always make sure to add "as a friend/brother/cousin etc" because if not, well, your going to get your guy friend confused. Also, don't use those 3 words too much to your guy friend because sometimes it makes us think about whether you really mean it or you're just hinting at something else.

5. Treat Your Guy Friend As A Friend - Some girls are somewhat affectionate to their guy friends, others are way too affectionate. A guy friend appreciates a girls sweetness at times but if you're consistently sweet then that's a red flag that might mean something else like "is she hitting on me?"

There's probably more but I hope that's a start to keep you going.

So people, do you have anything to add to this list?

*****

thoughts or comments?

[c2chaos]

heheh. There's not much on the "finding" but the "keeping" is very true. I believe it can also be applied the other way: guys keeping girl-friends.

I feel that you should to follow the guidelines more strictly if either you or your friend has a boyfriend/girlfriend.

[nf33]

I feel that 2,3, and 4 from Jerry list (im going to look at the article later when i have more time) are the most important out of the 5 he listed. I feel out of these 3 that number 4 at least for me is the most important out of all of them with 2 and 3 tied for second.

[TC X0 Lt 0X]

Jerry is right.
Us Menfolk are easily startled and confused.

[cutiebunny]

All of them should apply to any friendship, regardless of sexuality or gender.  Treat people how you want to be treated yourself.

However, the sad truth is that the reason why women have male friends is because they make great back-up fodder if their dream stud turns them down.  Now, not all women are like this.  But a good portion of them are.

Women like to keep another man around because he's the fall back guy.  They'll go after their 'prince', but the second that their male friend finds another woman who's interested in dating him, they'll drop everything and try to string along their male friend even more.  The back up is critical to a lot of women - it's like a human version of a security blanket.  Got a wedding to go to but can't show up dateless?  That's where the fall-back man comes in.

It's important to evaluate your friendship and figure out where you stand.  If you notice, with almost perfect timing, that your female friend wants to get more romantically involved with you whenever you're interested in another woman, then, it's time to jump ship.  Do yourself a favor and find yourself a true friend.

[PyronIkari]

All of them should apply to any friendship, regardless of sexuality or gender.  Treat people how you want to be treated yourself.

However, the sad truth is that the reason why women have male friends is because they make great back-up fodder if their dream stud turns them down.  Now, not all women are like this.  But a good portion of them are.

Women like to keep another man around because he's the fall back guy.  They'll go after their 'prince', but the second that their male friend finds another woman who's interested in dating him, they'll drop everything and try to string along their male friend even more.  The back up is critical to a lot of women - it's like a human version of a security blanket.  Got a wedding to go to but can't show up dateless?  That's where the fall-back man comes in.

It's important to evaluate your friendship and figure out where you stand.  If you notice, with almost perfect timing, that your female friend wants to get more romantically involved with you whenever you're interested in another woman, then, it's time to jump ship.  Do yourself a favor and find yourself a true friend.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this isn't true at all. It isn't about having a back-up. It's about having someone worship you, praise you, and that you have to give nothing in return to them. But this is banking on the concept that, they guy has feelings for you, and is too dumb/weak/pathetic to create a situation out of it and is playing the "nice guy" role. That guy that women keep around... the girl has no want to be with that person, at all. Not as a back up, not as an actual, not as a last resort. He's only there to make herself feel better. She knows this. He knows this. Why does he do it? Because despite knowing this, he holds on to hope, based on the actions of the girl that are forcibly misinterpereted by the male.

See, the problem with this article, is that it's... straight out wrong. There is too many forced reasonings in it. Or rather, it caters to people that are dumb and weak willed(both the female and the male part as a whole). But, obviously the guy who wrote this is a very typical "nice guy type", who is trying to put out something in an attempt to not get himself hurt.

1. Draw The Line - Always know your boundaries and keep your guy friend inform. I mean if a guy (like me) became your friend and we aren't clear about what our friendship consists of and I really really like you then that little loophole can spark a lot of hope in a guy.

This is dumb. Because it's so obviously there, that it shouldn't need to be stated. If a girl doesn't draw a line, and a guy is interested, curious etc... ASK THE GIRL seriously... it's not god damned hard. If he only wants to be friends... why should a line NEED TO BE DRAWN? IF THIS IS THE CASE... THE GUY ISN'T LOOKING TO BE A FRIEND, HE'S LOOKING TO HOOK UP WITH HER. So there you go... rule 1... is not how you keep a male friend, or even make a male friend. Rule 1 for girls is a way to tell guys that they aren't interested in, that they aren't interested in them if the guy is pushing his "friendship" in which case, he probably doesn't care to be a friend. The major line here is "really really like you" in which case, it's not a friend he wants to be. He's using it as an excuse.

2. Don't flirt? Why the hell not? Are you dumb? I flirt with a lot of my female friends all the time. A lot of female friends flirt with me. Does this mean we're not friends?

No, obviously don't flirt should be changed to "Don't lead me on". Because "If you lead me on, and I'm trying to hook up with you, I'm going to get disappointed when you don't want to hook up with me." Not "a guy can only hold back so much" THat is straight bull. If a guy is remotely attracted to a girl and flirts with him, he obviously knows that doesn't mean "Hey I want you to ravage me in bed". So unless "don't flirt" means "don't get drunk and put your hand down my pants and make me cup you" this rule is completely pointless. Once more it returns to "A guy being a girls friend with the purpose of trying to hook up with her, in which case... everything is the guys fault because he's being dishonest to begin with.

3. I don't get this one. If a guy is a girl's friend, he treats her like a friend. Like how... friends treat each other. There are some things male friends may feel uncomfortable with, and that's understandable, everyone has their lines of comfort even with friends. But this has nothing to do with being a guy or not. Some male friends are comfortable with lots. Others are not so open. What does this have to do with male friends?

4. Mean What You Say And Be Clear - Plain and simple if you say something as "I LOVE YOU" always make sure to add "as a friend/brother/cousin etc" because if not, well, your going to get your guy friend confused. Also, don't use those 3 words too much to your guy friend because sometimes it makes us think about whether you really mean it or you're just hinting at something else.

Guys only get confused because they WANT to be confused. Guys WANT an excuse to believe the girl likes him, not because she treats him a certain way or because of anything. Even if she didn't say things like "I LOVE YOU" he would find other reasons to think she likes him and wants more. Things like... how she says his name, or he'll believe that she treats him better than other guys.

5. Treat Your Guy Friend As A Friend - Some girls are somewhat affectionate to their guy friends, others are way too affectionate. A guy friend appreciates a girls sweetness at times but if you're consistently sweet then that's a red flag that might mean something else like "is she hitting on me?"

Again, same crap. He's looking for excuses.

This entire thing is a rant and whine that has been heard and repeated over and over and over again.

Boy likes girl. Girl is like "whatevs" but we're cool. Boy persists after girl and tries to become close to her, however he can. Girl likes the attention, and responds by giving light attention back. Boy overreacts and thinks it's a sign she returns the feelings. Girl doesn't, but is glad there's someone there to constantly praise and lift her spirits. Boy gets pissed off and bitter because girl won't hook up with him.

Eventually this leads to two things. The guy flipping out and telling off the girl and getting super pissed... or the boy finds a new target. In which case his adoration of the girl is lost. This leads to, the girl trying to get her pet back, or finding a new pet.

Both sides are idiots. This article writer is an idiot. Do you girls want to know how to find and keep a guy friend? Find a guy that is enjoyable and pleasant that isn't only trying to get in your pants. Find one that's honest, and who is willing to admit how he feels to you, and in return be honest with how you feel with him. In other words... be honest... that's what friendships are about aren't they? Because 99% of the time, the guy is willing to sleep with you if you are willing to sleep with him. If a guy is honest about that, he'll be a better friend then one that will lie that he doesn't, and the ones that lie are usually the ones that aren't looking to be friends, but it's their goal to hook up with you.

[Steve.Young]

haha...hahaha  :D

Pure comedic gold!

[Glitch]

I'm surprised it took Pyron this long to post on this. Still needs more of his condescending tone.

[caskaslyrk]

Honestly deep down inside...women have to find something attractive about a guy for him to even be a friend to begin with.  Think about it...how do you meet "guy" friends in the 1st place?

It's more than likely a meeting through another friend or some random encounter, where something about the guy just plain does it for you...

Everyone here at one point or time has probably had a crush on your best friend, whether it's a girl or guy....When you think about it most people are your friends because they posses a quality which you yourself lack..or you just can't get rid of them no matter how hard you may try, they just keep coming back like roaches... :-\

And to keep a guy as a friend isn't hard...it becomes "difficult" in most cases when the girl is leading on the guy or vice vera, but then again would you consider that person to be your friend in the 1st place or someone that is just trying to win you over?

[G.I.R]

The dual hinge collapses

The dual hinge collapses when you take the wholesale golf clubs way too quickly or off plane. Until you make a controlle swing with good mechanics it will continue to collapse. Once you can make it through the whole swing without collapsing, you're on your way to a better golf game.ishiner

Uh, yeah.
What does golf have to do with keeping a guy friend other than having a good stroke?




... sorry.  Couldn't resist.

[c2chaos]

^roflol!

[TC X0 Lt 0X]

The dual hinge collapses

The dual hinge collapses when you take the wholesale golf clubs way too quickly or off plane. Until you make a controlle swing with good mechanics it will continue to collapse. Once you can make it through the whole swing without collapsing, you're on your way to a better golf game.ishiner

Uh, yeah.
What does golf have to do with keeping a guy friend other than having a good stroke?



... sorry.  Couldn't resist.

icewhaudeadthar

[unicorn]

It's easy to have a guy friend/acquaintance, but a close guy friend isn't. My problem is that I let guys get too close to me and I enjoy it up until they come out and tell me they like me. And it ruins my relationship with them because I realize that I no longer can be close with them. I don't understand why it's so very hard for the manly folk to realize that no means no, and that I LIKE GIRLS mean I like girls. It's almost as if they believe that they can change me, which really pisses me off. Most of the "guy friends" I've had I've ended up cutting off ties with because they became obsessive and cruel.
I also have issues with making LASTING relationships with guys because I am a very shy person and have a hard time admitting things, in order to not hurt them. I always fear rejection, and I know if I were to tell them I would never like them like that it would hurt them, and also would make us less close. It's frustrating that it has to be so confusing.
I must admit that I feel happy when a guy likes me, but I do not want to like them back. It's a very cruel thing, but I cant be the only girl that does so. I take delight in the fact that the guy likes me, but do not want them to act upon it/ and do not want him to expect me to like them back. I enjoy being wanted, I don't know how it's like with guys when girls ("fan girls") like them/ or girl friends like them. Well also maybe I'm just a cruel person D< Meh me and guys do not get along that is for sure.
But I shall take this advice and will learn to be more srs u__u /less cruel.

[EJAY420]

lolz. this is just too freaking funny.

[Glitch]

A good way to keep a guy as a friend is to light a bag full of dog poo on the front porch of somebody he hates. He'll want to be your friend because it's so funny but won't pursue you as a girlfriend since he'll think chicks who gather dog poo are gross.

[Yuu]

It's easy to have a guy friend/acquaintance, but a close guy friend isn't. My problem is that I let guys get too close to me and I enjoy it up until they come out and tell me they like me. And it ruins my relationship with them because I realize that I no longer can be close with them. I don't understand why it's so very hard for the manly folk to realize that no means no, and that I LIKE GIRLS mean I like girls. It's almost as if they believe that they can change me, which really pisses me off. Most of the "guy friends" I've had I've ended up cutting off ties with because they became obsessive and cruel.
I also have issues with making LASTING relationships with guys because I am a very shy person and have a hard time admitting things, in order to not hurt them. I always fear rejection, and I know if I were to tell them I would never like them like that it would hurt them, and also would make us less close. It's frustrating that it has to be so confusing.
I must admit that I feel happy when a guy likes me, but I do not want to like them back. It's a very cruel thing, but I cant be the only girl that does so. I take delight in the fact that the guy likes me, but do not want them to act upon it/ and do not want him to expect me to like them back. I enjoy being wanted, I don't know how it's like with guys when girls ("fan girls") like them/ or girl friends like them. Well also maybe I'm just a cruel person D< Meh me and guys do not get along that is for sure.
But I shall take this advice and will learn to be more srs u__u /less cruel.

I don't know if it's exactly the same, but even if I initiate the friendship, I will want nothing to do with them if they keep wanting to spend time with me. I get suspicious.  Yet, if I don't hear from them for a long time I'll call them...and get creeped out all over again if they call frequently. I Guess it's all about moderation.

[unicorn]

It's easy to have a guy friend/acquaintance, but a close guy friend isn't. My problem is that I let guys get too close to me and I enjoy it up until they come out and tell me they like me. And it ruins my relationship with them because I realize that I no longer can be close with them. I don't understand why it's so very hard for the manly folk to realize that no means no, and that I LIKE GIRLS mean I like girls. It's almost as if they believe that they can change me, which really pisses me off. Most of the "guy friends" I've had I've ended up cutting off ties with because they became obsessive and cruel.
I also have issues with making LASTING relationships with guys because I am a very shy person and have a hard time admitting things, in order to not hurt them. I always fear rejection, and I know if I were to tell them I would never like them like that it would hurt them, and also would make us less close. It's frustrating that it has to be so confusing.
I must admit that I feel happy when a guy likes me, but I do not want to like them back. It's a very cruel thing, but I cant be the only girl that does so. I take delight in the fact that the guy likes me, but do not want them to act upon it/ and do not want him to expect me to like them back. I enjoy being wanted, I don't know how it's like with guys when girls ("fan girls") like them/ or girl friends like them. Well also maybe I'm just a cruel person D< Meh me and guys do not get along that is for sure.
But I shall take this advice and will learn to be more srs u__u /less cruel.

I don't know if it's exactly the same, but even if I initiate the friendship, I will want nothing to do with them if they keep wanting to spend time with me. I get suspicious.  Yet, if I don't hear from them for a long time I'll call them...and get creeped out all over again if they call frequently. I Guess it's all about moderation.

I'm having this exact thing go on right now actually. I have a guy wanting to text me/call me all the time. He's getting very obsessive and I really never talk to him much yet he keeps trying. I'm giving him subtle hints to back off a bit, but he only takes offense to them and tries to make me feel bad. He also keeps wanting to talk to me on the phone, and since the day he's asked me for that I've been avoiding it in my own little way. I guess were just moody u__u we want attention when we want it/when we don't want it.
But srsly I'm really starting to think about blocking this new guy... but I think I should tell him to back off rather than just.... ignore... .__. /badfriend

[Jerry]

1. Draw The Line - Always know your boundaries and keep your guy friend inform. I mean if a guy (like me) became your friend and we aren't clear about what our friendship consists of and I really really like you then that little loophole can spark a lot of hope in a guy.

either break it to him straight up or just block him and move on with your life.

either way, good luck with your future endeavors.

and just fyi

boys dont know the meaning of "subtle" ---- yes, we're THAT stupid or dense. :P

[TC X0 Lt 0X]

sub·tle
   /ˈsʌtl/ Show Spelled[suht-l]
–adjective, -tler, -tlest.
1.
thin, tenuous, or rarefied, as a fluid or an odor.
2.
fine or delicate in meaning or intent; difficult to perceive or understand: subtle irony.
3.
delicate or faint and mysterious: a subtle smile.
4.
requiring mental acuteness, penetration, or discernment: a subtle philosophy.
5.
characterized by mental acuteness or penetration: a subtle understanding.
6.
cunning, wily, or crafty: a subtle liar.
7.
insidious in operation: subtle poison.
8.
skillful, clever, or ingenious: a subtle painter.

It definitely one of these I'm sure...

[Jerry]

and this is why boys are lame.  :P - some of us really need to grow up

but seriously if boys are this annoying in your life - just move on with your life - one less thing to worry about.