How do I ask my parents if I could go to Fanime?

Started by Giantsgiants, May 19, 2013, 09:48:31 PM

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Giantsgiants

I've been really wanting to go to Fanime for years, but never bothered or mustered up the courage to ask my parents if I could go. I always feel like the odds of them saying "Yes" are very low.

The main reason why I think this is that San Jose is around an hour drive away from my house, and it would be too inconvenient for them to drive down there just to drop me off and pick me up. I have a driver's license, but we don't go to San Jose often, so my parents are skeptical about me driving by myself down there. I don't have any friends I could go with because none of them are into anime.

So, I'm not sure what the best thing to do is. Do you guys have any advice?

Thanks.


Bm-Atticus

Well, opening up a conversation about it is the only way to go forward as this point. If the driving is the one and only issue holding you back, I'd suggest looking up the Carpooling thread and seeing if anyone is coming through your area.

ewu

lots of transit options to get to SJ too!
www.fanime.com/essentials/accommodations/
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Giantsgiants

Thanks for the great advice so far, guys. But I think their biggest concern is with me going down there in the first place, regardless of which transportation method I'll use.

Bm-Atticus

What do you mean by that? You mean being down at the convention center by yourself? You said you had your driver's license so you're at least sixteen years old. I guess it really depends on how much freedom your parents typically give you. For me, I had a job, was saving up for a car and pretty much paid for everything that wasn't absolutely necessary. So when I wanted to go to an event that was a few hours away and I was paying for my ticket and whatever expenditures there were going to be? Fine, whatever. Call when I get there and when I'm just about to leave. But I also had friends who weren't allowed to do things like that. They couldn't even walk to the store during lunch because their parents wouldn't allow them to.

Just explain how an anime convention works if they're not familiar with it. Tell them about how many people you're age are going to be there and how you'll finally get to interact with other people that like anime. Have certain times for you to check in with them during the day. If all else fails, invite your parents to come with you. I've seen a lot of parents do this and most of the time they find something to enjoy.

grove_c

I started going to Fanime in 2004... I was 14? I have pretty strict parents and I also wasn't allowed to do much. The best thing to do is just ask.

Of course they said no, even when I told them my friends were going and that most people would be my age (I'm pretty sure they weren't now that I think of it). I went anyways. My parents were not too happy and I think I stopped going in 2006 because the whole issue was such a pain every year I went and every time they saw me cosplay or work on cosplay. (of course, the whole reason centered around grades, but they wanted a 4.0 when I could only bang out a 3.5)

My point is, if you are *really* determined, you can do what I did and just go, then face all the consequences. I really highly discourage it because even though I thought it was worth the trouble then, I don't think it was a healthy way for me to think about Fanime and it was not healthy for them to think of Fanime that way either.

So in other words, just ask, and if you cannot go, ask them what their reasons are and try to find a solution. Approach them in a mature matter.

In my case, all problems with Fanime disappeared as soon as I started working and funding my hobbies and transportation with my money. Also, taking a 6 year break from Fanime/cosplay helped out too.


pokkypok

My parents went with me the first few years (I think I was 13). Once they saw that it was a safe environment and that I could handle myself they slowly gave me more freedom and I go with my friends now. So maybe propose them coming with you to the center and seeing it?

Rainbow Ichi

#7
When you begin talking to your parents, ease the information slowly and make sure they're not tired from being back from work.

(my mom used to snap at me and my siblings soon as she arrives from work, so we kinda learned to let her relax for an hour before talking/interacting with her about anything.)

Point out that it has a lot of advantages. And also let them know the disadvantages that you are aware of. Tell them, the when, where, how (you plan on doing this) and what it is.

Things like its something you would really enjoy, and would love to go.
Its educational, as panels would be a thought provoking experience or meeting new people would be a Social Experience to you. There are people your age, older or younger attending.

Tell them your did your research, you know how much is the ticket is, you know the general area because you googled it and won't get lost because you now know where to go if you're lost, share them the information about that so the parents too, know where you are in the general area.

Yes, you know once you're out of the convention premise, it becomes a little dangerous and know to go with the crowds to avoid shady people and such.(my young cousin who started attending a few years back, her parents told her not to get out of the convention building, unless there's an emergency. They drop her there, and they pick her up there, no further argument or you won't have a ride home.)

If anything else is not working out with your parents, make a compromise you can keep. Say you won't do what they don't want you to do during the convention, like misbehaving and doing anything idiotic or stupid, and think 5 times before deciding on something and by being a model attendee. Tell them its worth the experience. (or taking over someone else's chores the next week after the convention. Or telling them where you are at somewhere during that convention day, so they don't need to worry. Or have them come with you like that post above.)
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Admiral Donuts

"Can I go to Fanime, and keep in mind your answer will have bearing on what nursing home you end up in."

As someone who had overly protective parents, my advice would be go. It's better to go out and get exposed to things now the waiting until your parents are okay with it and you're behind the curve.

I remember when my parents said no to everything, finally I just did something without permission and afterwards my dad said he respected me for it and started treating me like an adult.

Getting to and from places is a basic skill, and it's far better to practice it now then when you lack a safety network like parents.

RitsukaUzumaki

Well I live about 2+ hours away and my parents are going to drive me down.
In fact this year they are getting me a hotel room and leaving me and some friend there for the whole weekend!
I guess after so a handful of conventions they're tired of going. X3



It really depends on your parents. As Fanime is only days away you probably wont be able to go since you gave them no warning.
I tell my parents months ahead of time that I want to go to Con so that they have time to prepare(since usually they come with me) and save money for gas.


I'd just explain to them what it is(if they dot already know) and tell them what it would mean to you if they let you go.
Tell them your plans for the day and who you'll be with. If you have kind and understanding parents they may just let you go.
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Naiagu

The first convention I ever wanted to go to was Anime Expo, before I knew about Fanime. I was going to be in LA with my parents anyway. I started with explaining what I wanted and then what it was. Explain how you'll make sure you'll be safe, and reassure them with where they can call if anything happens and all the info they need. For the first time around, let them know they can come with you if they want to check it out.

Even with all this, it is possible they'll still say no, just try to convey how much it means to you.
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Sat: Sa-chan(Gintama)
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Belfry

Offer to let them go to Fanime with you. Thursday (tomorrow!) will be un-badged, meaning they could see what the convention is like for free. Fanime also has an Anime (and Manga) for Parents panel on Friday at 5pm. If they went with you, they could attend that panel and get a better idea of anime and the Fanime community.

Giantsgiants

Thanks for all the great advice guys. I showed my mom driving directions I got off Google Maps and told her the important streets and exits. She's okay with me going, but she'll talk to my dad about it. My dad doesn't come home from work until Thursday.