Ranma Skit Scripts

[zoupzuop2]

NOTICE:
These skit scripts were written by the user known as "Zoupzuop2" of the FanimeCon boards. NO STEALIN'!

Ranma ½: Fandom, or Wild Abandon?

An original skit by Travis ********

DETAILS

(Characters)
•   Ranma Saotome
•   Akane Tendo
•   Boy Fan 1 (In Cosplay)
•   Boy Fan 2 (In Cosplay)
•   Girl Fan 1 (In Cosplay)
•   Girl Fan 2 (Not in Cosplay)
•   Ryoga

(Props needed)
•   Pail (Bottom cut out, replaced/fitted with BLUE SHEET)
•   Foam Mallet
•   Kettle
•   Sketchbook or notebook (may be empty)
•   Dark, grey, or spray-painted boxes for “rocks”

(Music and sounds Needed)
•   Introductory fanfare (ORIGINAL SERIES)
•   Blink
•   SMASH
•   SPLASH (Got that one.)
•   Bonk!
•   â€œGag”

(No special Choreography needed)

Script:
(From stage right, Ranma and Akane are walking to school or something to that effect.)

Ranma: Look, all I’m saying is that a five-ounce bird couldn’t carry a one-pound coconut!

Akane: Right, but all I’m saying is that, suppose that two of ‘emâ€"aw, forget it! You’re too stubborn to understand.

Ranma: Look who’s talkin’. <Akane scowls> Anyway, we’re lost again. <Cue female fans> Smart idea, havin’ Ryoga tell us which way to the bank. Now we’re at… we’re at… where ARE we?
(Female fans take notice, and start giggling awkwardly. Ranma notices that they’re looking at him, and turns to them.)

Ranma: Uh, is everything okay?

Girl Fan 1: *Giggle* Umm, are you Ranma Saotome? Like, the REAL Ranma Saotome?

Ranma: Umm, sure. As opposed toâ€"what?

Girl Fan 2: OH MY GOSH! We’re, like, your biggest fans EVER!
(The two girls turn to each other and squeal on cue.)

Ranma: Huh? I don’t understand.

Akane: <Somewhat annoyed> Ranma… we’ve got to get GOING…

Girl Fan 1: Can we glomp you? Pretty please?

Girl Fan 2: Yeah, can we?

Ranma: Huh? What’s a glomp?
(The girls turn to each other. Meanwhile, the boy fans are about to come onstage, but before they do, they join the girls on cue…)

All fans: OH MY GOSH!

Girl Fan 2: You don’t know what a glomp is? Well…

Both Girls: We’ll just have to show you!
(And so, the girls proceed to glomp Ranma to the ground.)

Akane: RANMAAA! <Cue male fans, approaching Akane> WHAT ARE YOUâ€"Oh my. <Freezes in place>

Ranma: <Getting up> Man, glomps are painful! Shampoo hugs softer than… what is it, Akane? <Girls are still giggling>

Akane: I sense a disturbing and unshowered presence behind me…
(Akane turns around to see two of your run-of-the-mill Otaku boys.)

Akane: I was right.

Boy Fan 2: Umm, are you Akane Tendo? Like, in real life?

Akane: <Finds this somewhat odd> Yeah, of course…

Boy Fan 1: Oh my gosh! <Turns to Boy Fan 2, the girls start pointing and giggling at whatever Ranma’s doing> It’s HER! It’s really HER!

Akane: Yeah… it’s really ME…

Ranma: Okay, what do you two want from her, then?

Boy Fan 2: Oh, nothing… we’re just really big fans of you two!

Ranma: Us two? Listen, we aren’tâ€"‘ey, what’s that in your hand? <Takes notebook> OOMPH! <Ranma’s tackled by the girl fans; they just can’t control themselves anymore! Akane takes it from Ranma’s hand before he falls.>

Boy Fan 1: OH NO! Not my lemon fanart!

Akane: Lemon fanâ€"KYAAAAA! YOU PERVERT! <Darts towards Male Fan 1, while Fan 2 runs for it, giggling> TAKE THIS! <Stagehand hands Akane mallet, which she swingsâ€"and missesâ€"at MF2, whom runs away.>…and I’M NOT THAT FLEXIBLE!

Ranma: <Still on ground> GAWD! AKANE! WE’RE NOT GONN’A MAKE IT OUTT’A HERE!
(Just then, Ryoga erupts from a pile of “rocks” with a loud…)

Ryoga: BAKUSAI TENKETSU! Gaw, dang it! WHERE IN THE WORLD AM Iâ€"
(ALL fans just stare at him. The fan-person aura is building up.)

Ranma: <Plods over to Ryoga> Thanks, man, you’re a pal. <Turns to fans> HEY, EVERYONE! IT’S THE REAL RYOGA HIBIKI!

All fans: SKWEEEEE! <All fans sprint towards Ryoga, whom yells and “runs” back into the “rocks”.>

Ranma: QUICK! GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THEY… “GLOMP” ME AGAIN! Lord, the pain… <Ranma takes Akane’s hand and runs offstage>
(END MUSIC, Bows, cleanup and leave.)

[zoupzuop2]

Ranma ½: The Key to Chaos

An original skit by Travis ********

DETAILS
(Characters)
•   Ranma Saotome
•   Akane Tendo
•   Kuno Tatewaki
•   Shampoo
•   Ranma-Chan
•   (STAGEHAND 1)
•   (STAGEHAND 2)
•   (STAGEHAND 3)

(Props needed)
•   Large Foam Key
•   Stick with grip
•   Pail (Bottom cut out, replaced/fitted with BLUE SHEET)
•   Foam Mallet
•   â€œFencing”

(Music and sounds Needed)
•   Introductory fanfare (ORIGINAL SERIES)
•   Falling noise
•   BOINK!
•   Blink (“Chew-BWEE, Chew-BWEE”)
•   SMASH
•   SPLASH (Got that one.)

(Choreography Most Needed for FIGHT)

Script:
(From stage right, Ranma and Akane are walking to school or something to that effect.)

Ranma: Look, all I’m saying is that a five-ounce bird couldn’t carry a one-pound coconut!

Akane: Right, but all I’m saying is that, suppose that two of ‘emâ€"aw, forget it! You’re too stubborn to understand.

Ranma: Look who’s talkin’. <Akane scowls> Anyway, we don’t have much time. If we take too much time, we’re gonn’a be late.

Akane: Since when did you care? But you’re right. We’ve got to hurry!

Ranma: Heheh. At least nothing crazy’s gonn’a happen, like, some sort’a crazy key comes outt’a the sky that grants wishes or something.

Akane: <Blinks, then covers face with hand.> …you idiot.

Ranma: What?
(WHACK! Key “falls” and hits Ranma on the head, promptly hitting the ground thereafter.)

Ranma: Hmm? (Picks up key) Hey look, it’s a key! (Reads tag attached) And it grants wishes!

Akane: <rolls eyes> You don’t say.

Ranma: No, really! Says here… “The finder of this key may make any wish they so choose upon pointing the key upwards at the top of the user’s grasp and stating it. Do denote that the key will disappear and cease to exist after one such wish. Use wisely. â€"Magic Trinkets Anonymous” And I know just what to wish for!

Akane: Well, use it quickly, before someone else tries to get it!

Ranma: Okay… <thrusts key upwards> KEY, I WISH FORâ€"
(Ranma suddenly dodges a few quick swipes from Kuno’s bokken, and readies a fighting stance)

Ranma: Don’t tell me YOU want the key, Kuno!

Kuno: You dastardly fiend! As a man of the finest of goodwill, I cannot let you abuse the power of that key! Your advances on the fair Akane Tendo shall cease here!

Ranma: Well, you’re gonn’a have to TAKE it from me!

Kuno: Alright, I shall. <readies a fighting stance. Music cue…>
(Shampoo crashes into Kuno with Bicycle, knocking him into Ranma, who releases the key. Shampoo dusts self off, and notices the key.)

Shampoo: Aiyaa! Is magical wishing key! Shampoo knows just what do with it… *sigh* Shampoo make Ranma lover for all time! <Thrusts key upwards>

Akane: OH NO, YA DON’T! <Swiftly retrieves hammer from stagehand and mallets Shampoo, dropping the key in Kuno’s general direction>
That’s better! Nowâ€"RANMA, WAKE UP! <Switches hammer with bucket, “douses” Ranma, triggering change and awakening the two unconscious fighters>

Ranma-Chan: WHAT’D YA DO THAT FOR?!?

Akane: Stop laying around and get that key!

Ranma-Chan: Oh yeah, right! So… who has it?
(Kuno suddenly takes both Akane and Ranma-Chan in his arms)

Kuno: Alas, I now remember what I wish for most! Finally, a chance to have both of you at once! <Thrusts key upward> Key, I wâ€"OOF!
(Ranma and Akane punch Kuno’s face inwards, causing him to release the key. It falls to the floor.)

Ranma-Chan: The key!
(Ranma-Chan grabs it, followed by Kuno, followed by Shampoo…)

All: Let go! Release it! Give Shampoo key! Fat chance! Why I oughtt’aâ€"
(Key falls over “fencing” into pillowed substance of some sort, with a “splash” cueâ€"the key has fallen into the sewers.)
(All look over edge…)

Shampoo: Shampoo suppose someone go down and get it…

Ranma-Chan: Sure, just asâ€"whoop, that’s a pretty fast fish…

Kuno: If fortune holds, it shouldn’tâ€"
(All grimace as imaginary fish “eats” key)

All: Ew…
(All face forward)

Ranma-Chan: THAT… can’t be good.

Shampoo: Shampoo say. Key have ten whole Weight-Watcher points! Fish be fat in no time!
(All look at Shampoo)

Shampoo: What? Is true.

Ranma-Chan: …That explains a lot. Akane, can ‘ya grab me some hot water?

Akane: Uh, sure. <As she walks towards Ranma-Chan, she fishes around in the air, clearly searching for something. Finally she protrudes some hot water, which basically means nailing Kuno in the face with the kettle, aided by a Stagehand.>

Ranma-chan: How DO you get that stuff?

Akane: Dunn’o. Sure is useful, though.

Ranma-chan: I bet. <Changes back, with help of stagehand.>
(Kuno wakes up…)

Kuno: Alas, we cannot all mourn the sewer dweller’s fate for too long. Come, Pig-tailed girl, Akane Tendo, and we will see happierâ€"(notices Ranma) CURSE YOU RANMA! Not only did you cause the fair pig-tailed girl to lose the key, but you DARE continue to advance on Akane! PREPARE YOURSELF! <Prepares fighting stance>

Ranma: Oh, I Made her LOSE THE KEY? Don’t be stupid! <Prepares fighting stance>

Akane: Ugh. Can’t we just leave it alone?

Ranma: Don’t you know anything? Every good skit has at least one choreographed fight sequence, and this one ain’t any different. COME ON, KUNO!
(Ranma and Kuno commence fighting for about 7 seconds, accompanied by original fight music by Odyssey. Akane and Shampoo finally grimace.)

Akane and Shampoo: I have no time for this…<Both make their ways to a specific point on stage…>
(Ranma and Kuno finally come face to face in the center of the stage, snarling at each other. At this time, Shampoo and Akane bludgeon their corresponding man in front of them, knocking them out audibly. The two girls then proceed to drag their men to their corresponding directions, crossing at the beginning.)

Akane: <To audience> Honestly. The things men fight over…
(FINISH. Music cues bows.)

[zoupzuop2]

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