How To Talk To Girls -- It's still happening!

Started by The_Jane, May 26, 2007, 10:13:32 AM

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Jun-Watarase

Quote from: kimono_hime on March 13, 2008, 10:25:35 AM
(speaking from experience) Geek girls find geek guys attractive. We like the things you like, and we've likely been snubbed by the cool guys so we know what that's like. I got asked out by nerds in high school, but I wasn't a nerd, so I sought out costume/cosplay/theater geeks and found some really nice ones. My sweetie is an anime geek who isn't into costuming, but that's okay. We still have many similar interests, and I remember being happy when I met him because so many guys don't get anime. With him I could be myself.

Self esteem is really important. If you don't have it, we can sense it and will avoid you like the plague. If you have too much, we'll run the other direction. Just be comfortable with yourself and be open to meeting new people. 

I can kind of see what you mean, as the majority of people I've dated have some knowledge of anime/otaku-culture and whatnot, but I actually really don't like the types without anything else to offer-- a real life, good friends, experience, other interests, etc. A lot of people who have these sorts of interests tend to be socially inept and/or have nothing else to offer. After some experience, I would not want to date a geek/nerd that cannot function socially or take care of him/herself. My standard for girls are a bit different, but approaching girls as a girl is a bit different from approaching girls as a guy. But anyway, it's not only I can be myself around my boyfriend, but he'd actually know what the hell I'd be talking about. Pyron and I have common interests in and out of otaku-dom, amongst other qualities that keep me around him.

And as much as I'd hate to say it, self-esteem... if a guy doesn't have it, then he appears spineless and less masculine. It doesn't matter if you're some jrock viskei femmy guy, but you need to be able to stand your ground, be okay with yourself and how you're flirting with us, and be a man. Some girls will find it cute if you're nervous, but that's not most likely the attention you want to get. It's actually VERY difficult for me to explain, as it seems more than "if you seem confident, then you'll get the girl", as some people could just look and sound like their heads are up their arses. It's good to find the compromise of what confident and self-centered is. For some reason, I find myself somewhat attracted to arrogance, but I like those who are humble as friends. Not many guys or girls can properly pull it off, and a lot of girls can't seem to pull it off without looking like a b*tch, otherwise it's pretty hot. But views on girls are a bit different and sexually biased in society, so that bit is unnecessary info to get into.

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havok rt

Quote from: PyronIkari on March 13, 2008, 08:21:00 AM
Quote from: havok rt on March 12, 2008, 11:18:03 PM
I don't really have a problem talking to girls it finding girls to talk to that I'm interested in. So find some cute girls who wanta go out on a date and I'm there!

I find this sorta funny. Finding cute girls isn't a problem. Making them want to go out on a date with you... comes from the you talking to them part.

So somewhere in your statement, there is a lie or a falacy. ^^
Actually it neither a lie nor a fallacy. I don't get out much, its either work or school so I don't have much spare time. Plus where am I to find cute geek chicks?!?! ???
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Kava

Quote from: havok rt on March 13, 2008, 11:28:14 PM
Quote from: PyronIkari on March 13, 2008, 08:21:00 AM
Quote from: havok rt on March 12, 2008, 11:18:03 PM
I don't really have a problem talking to girls it finding girls to talk to that I'm interested in. So find some cute girls who wanta go out on a date and I'm there!

I find this sorta funny. Finding cute girls isn't a problem. Making them want to go out on a date with you... comes from the you talking to them part.

So somewhere in your statement, there is a lie or a falacy. ^^
Actually it neither a lie nor a fallacy. I don't get out much, its either work or school so I don't have much spare time. Plus where am I to find cute geek chicks?!?! ???
I'm just guessing here but... at an anime convention? ^^
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Jun-Watarase

Quote from: havok rt on March 13, 2008, 11:28:14 PM
Quote from: PyronIkari on March 13, 2008, 08:21:00 AM
Quote from: havok rt on March 12, 2008, 11:18:03 PM
I don't really have a problem talking to girls it finding girls to talk to that I'm interested in. So find some cute girls who wanta go out on a date and I'm there!

I find this sorta funny. Finding cute girls isn't a problem. Making them want to go out on a date with you... comes from the you talking to them part.

So somewhere in your statement, there is a lie or a falacy. ^^
Actually it neither a lie nor a fallacy. I don't get out much, its either work or school so I don't have much spare time. Plus where am I to find cute geek chicks?!?! ???

I think what he'd be referring to is your last statement, where he probably assumed that you DO go on these dates with girls, rather, you were just saying you'd be there if there was an opportunity? From your last post, you don't really seem like you know what you're doing.

It's easy to find girls, but a relationship-- even a date, requires you to give them time. If you cannot provide time for your relationship, you're in no position to decide to be in one without some sort of mutual agreement that you'd rarely see each other. Otherwise, you'd have only enough time for casual dates and one-night stands.

As for "cute geek chicks", depends on what kind of geek. I think you refer to the otaku/weeaboo/gamer sort... they're abundant but I finding a cute one takes a bit of effort. It irks me when people get excited over "Omg! A girl otaku/gamer?! Those don't exist!" where they obviously are everywhere now-a-days. If they had the time to leave their houses every once in a while, perhaps they'd realize it. If you have that sort of interest, you should already have an idea where to find them.

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havok rt

Quote from: Kava on March 14, 2008, 12:35:48 AM
Quote from: havok rt on March 13, 2008, 11:28:14 PM
Quote from: PyronIkari on March 13, 2008, 08:21:00 AM
Quote from: havok rt on March 12, 2008, 11:18:03 PM
I don't really have a problem talking to girls it finding girls to talk to that I'm interested in. So find some cute girls who wanta go out on a date and I'm there!

I find this sorta funny. Finding cute girls isn't a problem. Making them want to go out on a date with you... comes from the you talking to them part.

So somewhere in your statement, there is a lie or a falacy. ^^
Actually it neither a lie nor a fallacy. I don't get out much, its either work or school so I don't have much spare time. Plus where am I to find cute geek chicks?!?! ???
I'm just guessing here but... at an anime convention? ^^
Brilliant *raise a bottle of Guinness*
'
and I could go on and about my romantic life but I spare you all the boredom and say a "hell yeah!" to the panel.
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Cosplay for 2012: Walking around with "The Most Interesting Man In the World" (aka the dos equis guy)

kgHapa

Haha wait, tell me this is a serious panel :D
If so sign me up ;D

Jane_HTGPanel

Yay, this year's panel is going to be the best ever.

I can't wait to see you all and dispense my timeless tactics for ladyfriend-snaring!

KawaiiAngel

So what are you guys doing, exactly? Is the panel in need of 'test subjects'?  If so, SIGN ME UP! This would be fun...=]

Steve.Young

I am now more slightly interested after all these comments. I think it would be funny.

In my consumer behavior business class, we started getting into the psychology behind guys + girls. Most girls admit to being a lot of different things which I won't get into here, and a lot of guys admitted to be certain things as well. Being fake is ingrained into us socially, due to the nature of hollywood and the "perfect" relationship (It's hard to be "REAL"). Every relationship has fights, problems, and what not; it's how you deal with them that counts.

My philosophy on relationships, shit happens. Get over it.
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Jun-Watarase

Quote from: Steve.Young on March 17, 2008, 07:00:41 PM
My philosophy on relationships, shit happens. Get over it.

How does that even apply? If you honestly have this sort of belief to handling problems in your relationship, rather than addressing the issue and coming to a compromise, dealing with you as a partner must be like dating a brick wall. Yes, couples fight once in a while, otherwise, it wouldn't be a completely healthy relationship, BUT they don't just tell each other to get over it. What if the problem still exists? The person still bothered by it will still be affected, not only that but it'll most likely build up and make them feel insecure about not being able to talk to their partner, because they're too busy with a philosophy of "Shit happens. Get over it".

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Steve.Young

Because, I've tried that approach several times with communication and talking about issues, doesn't work. Either the girls I dated were just weird (Possibility) or it's a more widespread thing among relationships (Who knows?). I didn't just develop that philosophy overnight, it would make me out to seem like a huge jerk, which I'm not (A little bit, yea). It was created out of experience. Shit happens, get it over it. Dwell on something insignificant and that little thing becomes something more than it is not. It applies well in life for me in my business and most other things.

Now I'm not advocating the use of telling people to just get over it, I'm saying if your gf/bf does something stupid that's relatively insignificant (Honestly, admit it. There are times when someone does something that bugs you, but it's so stupid you know it shouldn't bug you).

In essence, get over it.

Anyways, my philosophy tends to apply for a whole relationship in general. Like when you break up or when something happens, often you hear "That's just life".

"Shit happens, Get over it" is a condensed version of my philosophy. I could explain it to you in nauseating detail, but I'm not going to. Don't have that much time on my hands.

*Shrugs*
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Jun-Watarase

If you're only referring to little problems, why are you using that philosophy as if it applies to everything in a relationship? Of course you don't dwell on insignificant things, but that applies to anything in life. It doesn't mean you ignore all problems altogether. Are you implying that communication ISN'T important in a relationship? If there's a problem bothering your partner, and you just ignore it and tell them to "get over it", you're just being negligent and insensitive. If your own philosophy becomes a problem in itself, I can sure as hell say that your partner isn't overreacting if he or she decides to get upset.

Though, "Shit happens, get over it" might apply to casual relationships better than they would in a serious one. Unless, STDs are involved, of course.

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kgHapa

I think you're reading a little too deeply into what Steve_Young is saying, its not so much a philosophy and approach as it is a general jaded attitude to not get your panties in a knot every time something bad happens and approaching volatile relationship situations knowing that its never the end of the world. Haha it's usually a guy thing, don't take it too literally  :D

Jun-Watarase

Quote from: Atlus on March 18, 2008, 09:12:51 PM
I think you're reading a little too deeply into what Steve_Young is saying, its not so much a philosophy and approach as it is a general jaded attitude to not get your panties in a knot every time something bad happens and approaching volatile relationship situations knowing that its never the end of the world. Haha it's usually a guy thing, don't take it too literally  :D

That's just BS, right there. I had already said... if it's an insignificant issue, yeah. You let it go, and there's no point on dwelling in it. I'm talking about issues that actually bother one of or both people in the relationship significantly. They should talk it out, and communication is important. If I'm troubled by something that's affecting my well-being and the health of my relationship, I talk to my boyfriend about it and we get through it together. Him ignoring it is a sign that he doesn't care enough to keep things good with me and try to make me happy with how things are between us, which I'm glad he doesn't do.

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kgHapa

Quote from: Jun-Watarase on March 18, 2008, 10:31:30 PM
Quote from: Atlus on March 18, 2008, 09:12:51 PM
I think you're reading a little too deeply into what Steve_Young is saying, its not so much a philosophy and approach as it is a general jaded attitude to not get your panties in a knot every time something bad happens and approaching volatile relationship situations knowing that its never the end of the world. Haha it's usually a guy thing, don't take it too literally  :D

That's just BS, right there. I had already said... if it's an insignificant issue, yeah. You let it go, and there's no point on dwelling in it. I'm talking about issues that actually bother one of or both people in the relationship significantly. They should talk it out, and communication is important. If I'm troubled by something that's affecting my well-being and the health of my relationship, I talk to my boyfriend about it and we get through it together. Him ignoring it is a sign that he doesn't care enough to keep things good with me and try to make me happy with how things are between us, which I'm glad he doesn't do.
well yes, obviously you should talk about major issues and have good communication, at what point did I disagree with that? Im just saying I think you're interpreting steve_youngs post too literally, Im pretty sure if he were in a relationship with somebody he cared about he wouldnt just ignore major problems. But who knows, maybe I'm wrong and he would just ignore it, but even so it doesn't put you or me in a place to say thats wrong or right. Ultimately if that were his literal philosophy he would be hard pressed to find a working relationship, so everything kind of balances out in the end ;D

JTchinoy

im sorry but i can't believe we're having this panel =/
i saw the beginning of the 1 that was 3 years ago and it talked about hitting on girls/ approaching girls you don't know. i walked out after i heard that.

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havok rt

Quote from: JTchinoy on March 18, 2008, 10:56:37 PM
im sorry but i can't believe we're having this panel =/
i saw the beginning of the 1 that was 3 years ago and it talked about hitting on girls/ approaching girls you don't know. i walked out after i heard that.
I think that the problem most guys going to the panel probably have. After all the first step is usually the hardest.
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Cosplay for 2012: Walking around with "The Most Interesting Man In the World" (aka the dos equis guy)

JTchinoy

well to me, hollering at a girl with a pick up line is the dumbest idea in the world, which is what he was trying to promote if i remember correctly.  he was trying to say "how to present a pick up line" or something.  i was like WOW! walking away!

and i somehow don't think that the kind of people that we'll be seeing at this panel are going to be the "hollering" type.

maybe it's just that i hate all the BS mind games of dating and whatnot. i'm sick of it and i just like being real to who i am. a girl that you holler at is less likely to be a keeper than a girl that you met and talked to and naturally developed a crush for and vice versa. but that's just me.

i can probably quote my friend's speech on how to get a girl at this panel, but it's a load of BS that works too. so i prefer not giving out the secret to getting a one night stand.  >:(

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norcalduy

girl, if you and i were both squirrels, id bust a nut for you.

JTchinoy

do you believe in love at first sight or should i walk by again?

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