Daddy, you piss me off!

[L3sli3_Lov3s_Chu]

So like...

Just yesterday[5/4/08] I met an online friend (P-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!) for the first time. It was awkward at first but as time progressed I got comfortable with him and eased up. So, on the last day of out being together I called my Daddy (P-chan, you should remember this) , we talked, and I mentioned that the guy I was with was outside of my race. So Daddy was like "You're special" and I'm like "Huh? What do you mean?" and he's like "You don't like your own kind".

...

He said that because I have an open mind when it comes to who I date and black men haven't been on the list as of recent. It pissed me off and damn near ruined my whole day. Of course the concept of "Well, if you love the person, GO for it!" come in to mind, but it so hard to think that way when it's not just one person, but a nice portion of your family that feels this way...(They aren't racist... Well not really) -Sigh-

I know this ain't a blog but... Got any pointers? I can't help but feel like everytime I take intrest in someone outside of my race I'll be persecuted by my family and fellow black folks...  :'(

[deonchan]

Heh.

Welcome to the club. Rather than have another episode of the interwebs young and the restless unfold. PM me. We will talk.

[L3sli3_Lov3s_Chu]

Okayz... :'(

[questionette]

OMGSH I totally know what you mean...my dad's side of the family is filled with conservative Christian rednecks *shivers*

[edendreams]

y'know I think the generations that are coming behind us are more and more accepting of the fact we are all the same. My boss is a bit racist at times making bad jokes about some of our asian or hispanic clients but really there's no difference. I'm sorry that your dad can't see the world the same as you do but at least you have a good heart and are keeping you mind open to your own possibilities.

[L3sli3_Lov3s_Chu]

Yeah... I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my black men... Just not all of them. The dogs, mostly. I want a sweet, nice guy who isn't afraid to say 'I love you' and cuddle with his girl in front of his boys. The parts of Oakland that I reside in only offer hood niggas...  :'( Which sucks cause some of them are sexy but I'm affraid of what the consequences might be if you affiliate with them... Then again, maybe I'm not looking hard enough or I'm just completely closing my eyes. Fuck man!

[BrightHeart76]

I remember the first time I ever knew my parents were flat out WRONG.  We were driving in the car and they told me, "People should only marry people who are the same color."  I was 7 years old and knew without a doubt that my parent were idiots (at least about that). 

Racism is hard to overcome.  You just have to know what's right by you even if the people close to you don't agree.

[L3sli3_Lov3s_Chu]

Thank yoooooou!  :D

[Gatsby]

I suppose I should be grateful my parents never had issues with who I dated. They're very open.

[Steve.Young]

My parents only like Chinese and White females...

Anything else, and it shys away from the norm in my family.

I brought home a viet gf once, man did I hear it for a long time.

Stupid racist parents.

[L3sli3_Lov3s_Chu]

My parents aren't racist, well at least not Mommy, it's just that they aren't used to their kids bringing home someone outside of their race. And this is my first time really having someone whose worth the time. My grany and grampa are cool with it, its just Daddy... :(

[Moonblossom]

My parents have always been cool with whoever I bring home, but I dated a Chinese guy for five years and his family basically forbid him from seeing me, so he was forever making up lies to get out. I wasn't allowed to call him, wasn't allowed to go over there, we had to be careful in public, it was asinine. And so not worth it in the long run, honestly.

They'd go on and on about how white girls are dirty and diseased and only wanted to steal his money, which was fucking hilarious seeing as how I worked and he didn't, and his family had filed for bankruptcy. I was the one paying for all our dates, food, etc. And yet I was out to steal his money. :/

Racist parents suck ass.

I also know my grandmother was shunned from the Greek community here in Montreal for a long time, because she let her "lovely twin daughters" marry a french canadian (my dad) and an italian (my uncle) rather than forcing them to "settle down with a nice Greek boy!". She was of the mind that they should marry whoever made them happy. Thirty years later and they're both still happily married, and all the "nice Greek boys" they've kept in touch with are divorced :P

[Jerry]

it pretty much comes down to ignorance.

they judge people on things that were never done directly done to them or they dont give a new person the common courtesy first and just hate/dislike based on nothing.

tis a shame but there are alot of ppl like that out there.

[Jun-Watarase]

Everyone's racist some way or another, but it sucks when it's so bad to the extent that they disapprove of an entire race altogether. I grew up in a typical Asian family, at first, so they were somewhat racist in terms of who they associate with, but not really. They'd have an idea and bias against someone's race, but they'd ultimately judge people for who they are, individually, if the circumstances push them to. After a while, they became more accepting of people because I forced it into their environment from having a variety of races within my circle. Also, I live with only my mum now, and she's pretty liberal. Racism will stay with humanity for a very long time, as long as our quantities stay this high and up. People judge others from what they observe, and groups will be judged by whatever impression their people make in terms of reputation. It's logical, and how things are, but some people are too narrow-minded to understand that certain things like that can't possibly apply to every individual.

I think it was harder opening up as bisexual to my parents, if anything-- my mum at first would be like, "Yeah, right." and it felt a bit insulting. There are a lot of girls who are just bicurious, or claiming to be bisexual for the sake of being 'unique', so I figure my parents didn't take it seriously and thought it was a phase. After a while, they started taking it more seriously and realizing that I wouldn't lie about my sexuality. My mum was okay with it, though, she'd tease me about it once in a while before. My stepdad, however, was really unaccepting of it, and his behavior in terms of it was pretty immature. But basically, he was just disgusted with it, he'd avoid me in walkways, make sounds and shudders, and finally just blabbed out, "I don't know. I don't have a problem with knowing homosexuals, but I don't want to be directly related to them." and I just figured he was homophobic. After a while, he'd forget about it and things were back to normal. Things are fine, now, but I haven't brought a girl home for a pretty long while now, but I also figure it'd be no problem.

Back on the topic of race, though. It's true that you should be the one to judge who you date, regardless of race. Personally, I find race a personal preference-- it's not quite racism, but I have a bias for what I prefer, and what I probably won't date. I've never dated another Taiwanese person, but I've dated both traditional and white-washed Chinese and so far don't like either. I've dated people of other races, too, but eventually I figured out that I have a preference for Asians. Other than aesthetics, another reason is that we share the same culture and don't have to explain to each other the way things are done. Culture is relatively important to me, since without it, it seems bland-- but personality is more important, of course. I wouldn't have many objections to date someone outside of my race if I like them.

But as for dating someone you've met online, it's best to look at how your friendship is. You met him very recently. Don't know if you're actually thinking about dating him or not, but it's easy to fall in love with someone over the internet. Unless you'll be able to see him physically on occasion, it's not recommended that you have a long-distance relationship with someone you met online. Long-distance relationships, themselves, are frustrating enough.

[deonchan]

Everyone's racist some way or another, but it sucks when it's so bad to the extent that they disapprove of an entire race altogether. I grew up in a typical Asian family, at first, so they were somewhat racist in terms of who they associate with, but not really. They'd have an idea and bias against someone's race, but they'd ultimately judge people for who they are, individually, if the circumstances push them to. After a while, they became more accepting of people because I forced it into their environment from having a variety of races within my circle. Also, I live with only my mum now, and she's pretty liberal. Racism will stay with humanity for a very long time, as long as our quantities stay this high and up. People judge others from what they observe, and groups will be judged by whatever impression their people make in terms of reputation. It's logical, and how things are, but some people are too narrow-minded to understand that certain things like that can't possibly apply to every individual.

I think it was harder opening up as bisexual to my parents, if anything-- my mum at first would be like, "Yeah, right." and it felt a bit insulting. There are a lot of girls who are just bicurious, or claiming to be bisexual for the sake of being 'unique', so I figure my parents didn't take it seriously and thought it was a phase. After a while, they started taking it more seriously and realizing that I wouldn't lie about my sexuality. My mum was okay with it, though, she'd tease me about it once in a while before. My stepdad, however, was really unaccepting of it, and his behavior in terms of it was pretty immature. But basically, he was just disgusted with it, he'd avoid me in walkways, make sounds and shudders, and finally just blabbed out, "I don't know. I don't have a problem with knowing homosexuals, but I don't want to be directly related to them." and I just figured he was homophobic. After a while, he'd forget about it and things were back to normal. Things are fine, now, but I haven't brought a girl home for a pretty long while now, but I also figure it'd be no problem.

Back on the topic of race, though. It's true that you should be the one to judge who you date, regardless of race. Personally, I find race a personal preference-- it's not quite racism, but I have a bias for what I prefer, and what I probably won't date. I've never dated another Taiwanese person, but I've dated both traditional and white-washed Chinese and so far don't like either. I've dated people of other races, too, but eventually I figured out that I have a preference for Asians. Other than aesthetics, another reason is that we share the same culture and don't have to explain to each other the way things are done. Culture is relatively important to me, since without it, it seems bland-- but personality is more important, of course. I wouldn't have many objections to date someone outside of my race if I like them.

But as for dating someone you've met online, it's best to look at how your friendship is. You met him very recently. Don't know if you're actually thinking about dating him or not, but it's easy to fall in love with someone over the internet. Unless you'll be able to see him physically on occasion, it's not recommended that you have a long-distance relationship with someone you met online. Long-distance relationships, themselves, are frustrating enough.

Win.

Well put and very valid points.

Oh and to being a lil humor to the thread keep in mind..

Everyone's a little bit racist  ;D

[L3sli3_Lov3s_Chu]

Everyone's racist some way or another, but it sucks when it's so bad to the extent that they disapprove of an entire race altogether. I grew up in a typical Asian family, at first, so they were somewhat racist in terms of who they associate with, but not really. They'd have an idea and bias against someone's race, but they'd ultimately judge people for who they are, individually, if the circumstances push them to. After a while, they became more accepting of people because I forced it into their environment from having a variety of races within my circle. Also, I live with only my mum now, and she's pretty liberal. Racism will stay with humanity for a very long time, as long as our quantities stay this high and up. People judge others from what they observe, and groups will be judged by whatever impression their people make in terms of reputation. It's logical, and how things are, but some people are too narrow-minded to understand that certain things like that can't possibly apply to every individual.

I think it was harder opening up as bisexual to my parents, if anything-- my mum at first would be like, "Yeah, right." and it felt a bit insulting. There are a lot of girls who are just bicurious, or claiming to be bisexual for the sake of being 'unique', so I figure my parents didn't take it seriously and thought it was a phase. After a while, they started taking it more seriously and realizing that I wouldn't lie about my sexuality. My mum was okay with it, though, she'd tease me about it once in a while before. My stepdad, however, was really unaccepting of it, and his behavior in terms of it was pretty immature. But basically, he was just disgusted with it, he'd avoid me in walkways, make sounds and shudders, and finally just blabbed out, "I don't know. I don't have a problem with knowing homosexuals, but I don't want to be directly related to them." and I just figured he was homophobic. After a while, he'd forget about it and things were back to normal. Things are fine, now, but I haven't brought a girl home for a pretty long while now, but I also figure it'd be no problem.

Back on the topic of race, though. It's true that you should be the one to judge who you date, regardless of race. Personally, I find race a personal preference-- it's not quite racism, but I have a bias for what I prefer, and what I probably won't date. I've never dated another Taiwanese person, but I've dated both traditional and white-washed Chinese and so far don't like either. I've dated people of other races, too, but eventually I figured out that I have a preference for Asians. Other than aesthetics, another reason is that we share the same culture and don't have to explain to each other the way things are done. Culture is relatively important to me, since without it, it seems bland-- but personality is more important, of course. I wouldn't have many objections to date someone outside of my race if I like them.

But as for dating someone you've met online, it's best to look at how your friendship is. You met him very recently. Don't know if you're actually thinking about dating him or not, but it's easy to fall in love with someone over the internet. Unless you'll be able to see him physically on occasion, it's not recommended that you have a long-distance relationship with someone you met online. Long-distance relationships, themselves, are frustrating enough.

Wooooow... Thats awsome.

EDIT:

We've met in real life and the chemistry was amazing. At first it was awkward (I almost threw up on the bus ride over to San Fran) cause I was so nervous, but over time I became comfortable with him. Luckily we live close enough to each other that we can physically be with each other. I'm actually saving up money to go Santa Rosa and meet him again ( buuut, becasue my grandmother is paranoid that I might be get hurt or that there's lots of white folks she might schaparone [sp?] me up to Santa Rosa to see him! w00t!).

I do love him, very much so, and I think that with some time my family will come to accept.

[Jun-Watarase]

We've met in real life and the chemistry was amazing. At first it was awkward (I almost threw up on the bus ride over to San Fran) cause I was so nervous, but over time I became comfortable with him. Luckily we live close enough to each other that we can physically be with each other. I'm actually saving up money to go Santa Rosa and meet him again ( buuut, becasue my grandmother is paranoid that I might be get hurt or that there's lots of white folks she might schaparone [sp?] me up to Santa Rosa to see him! w00t!).

I do love him, very much so, and I think that with some time my family will come to accept.

Well, it's a bit quick to say that you already love him. Keep in mind that you're still young, it's a relationship and that you're not making plans to get married. You might adore him and appreciate the chemistry, be prepared to realize that you're going to have to accept his flaws as well. It's good that you can see him physically, though. I've known way too many people who resort to online relationships in the past with plans to fly over to another state to meet some guy who has the time to talk to them online all day and night, only to find out they're total losers.

Pyron and I met online and talked everyday. After seeing each other in person a couple of times, both caved in and started a relationship, distance was a problem. He was all the way in Southern California, whereas I'd be all the way up here in the Bay. What we did, when unable to see each other physically, was keep our webcams on. It's fun and more personal-- but if you do end up doing that, a cheap webcam will end up frustrating you, so it's best to get one that is clear enough that you can leave it alone without any problem.

[L3sli3_Lov3s_Chu]

We've met in real life and the chemistry was amazing. At first it was awkward (I almost threw up on the bus ride over to San Fran) cause I was so nervous, but over time I became comfortable with him. Luckily we live close enough to each other that we can physically be with each other. I'm actually saving up money to go Santa Rosa and meet him again ( buuut, becasue my grandmother is paranoid that I might be get hurt or that there's lots of white folks she might schaparone [sp?] me up to Santa Rosa to see him! w00t!).

I do love him, very much so, and I think that with some time my family will come to accept.

Well, it's a bit quick to say that you already love him. Keep in mind that you're still young, it's a relationship and that you're not making plans to get married. You might adore him and appreciate the chemistry, be prepared to realize that you're going to have to accept his flaws as well. It's good that you can see him physically, though. I've known way too many people who resort to online relationships in the past with plans to fly over to another state to meet some guy who has the time to talk to them online all day and night, only to find out they're total losers.

Pyron and I met online and talked everyday. After seeing each other in person a couple of times, both caved in and started a relationship, distance was a problem. He was all the way in Southern California, whereas I'd be all the way up here in the Bay. What we did, when unable to see each other physically, was keep our webcams on. It's fun and more personal-- but if you do end up doing that, a cheap webcam will end up frustrating you, so it's best to get one that is clear enough that you can leave it alone without any problem.

I hope I don't sound like a jackass when I say this, but I actually have studied his 'flaws' and considered how him having them would effect the relationship and I must say that I can get over them. Though, you are right in the light of me being young. Not to mention the fact that I have the social life of a hermit... But I think we've got a chance.Oh, yehs! Webcams are veeeery fun, but kinda dangerous around a pervert like me, wonderful idea.

[BDILN]

We've met in real life and the chemistry was amazing. At first it was awkward (I almost threw up on the bus ride over to San Fran) cause I was so nervous, but over time I became comfortable with him. Luckily we live close enough to each other that we can physically be with each other. I'm actually saving up money to go Santa Rosa and meet him again ( buuut, becasue my grandmother is paranoid that I might be get hurt or that there's lots of white folks she might schaparone [sp?] me up to Santa Rosa to see him! w00t!).

I do love him, very much so, and I think that with some time my family will come to accept.

Well, it's a bit quick to say that you already love him. Keep in mind that you're still young, it's a relationship and that you're not making plans to get married. You might adore him and appreciate the chemistry, be prepared to realize that you're going to have to accept his flaws as well. It's good that you can see him physically, though. I've known way too many people who resort to online relationships in the past with plans to fly over to another state to meet some guy who has the time to talk to them online all day and night, only to find out they're total losers.

Pyron and I met online and talked everyday. After seeing each other in person a couple of times, both caved in and started a relationship, distance was a problem. He was all the way in Southern California, whereas I'd be all the way up here in the Bay. What we did, when unable to see each other physically, was keep our webcams on. It's fun and more personal-- but if you do end up doing that, a cheap webcam will end up frustrating you, so it's best to get one that is clear enough that you can leave it alone without any problem.

Actually a cheap webcam can turn out really well if you know what you're doing... for example: Sears had the Eyetoy Groove package at an extremely discounted price: $3.95. I bought it and found a tutorial on how to modify some existing PC drivers to work with the eyetoy( the quality is excellent for the price, I must say). If Leslie wants to video chat, I should be able to whip something up. Unfortunately, with school and such (busy college life...ugh) I wouldn't have too much time to chat unless I fit it in during or around homework time. I was lucky to get a break for the last few months but summer is gonna be ZOMG busy. Plus there is just some times I just need to take to get out of my tiny apartment. Using our camera pics works pretty well, (like just taking pics of our daily lives) and we could do it more often.

On the topic of racism... I personally don't care. If her parents are going to like me they will, if they won't they won't. I learned to be pretty accepting of most things in life from my dad. Both my grandparents from my Dad's side were immigrants straight from Croatia, so my dad went through a difficult life being the son of two immigrants (cool thing though, they established themselves pretty well. When my dad and his brothers were young they helped their parents build their own house... brick by brick.IT still stands in my home town of Fort Bragg, Ca)Right now I have to focus on my own relationship with my mom which is plagued by her judging me by old physiological diagnoses that have since then been labeled as inaccurate. Discrimination knows no bounds ... ugh.

[Steve.Young]

Webcams...I won't even touch on that subject.

On another note, long distance relationships that start out personal but end up long distance (I.E. her being older and moving to college first)...really SUCKS.

Just a thought but distance regardless of how you meet and stuff, can always be an issue.