a question for the ladies...

[FinalShadows]

Listen, strictly speaking, it's natural for boys to be shy of girls. And hell, I know it better than most having 11 ex-girlfriends, and being shot down more than my fare share, I can tell ya girls can be real jerks when it comes to being approached. But from what I've noticed, girls here rather enjoy the attention and are more than inviting with friendly chats or otherwise. And like they say, you can't lose until you play!

More importantly, I think, you can't win until you play. The odds may be stacked against you, but at least you have an odd. 0.0000000000001% is 100% when compared to 0%.

Isin't that the chance of the lottery? o.o

[ToshiX]

ROFL
all you need is to be yourself and confidence

[Dancing Lanza]

approaching alone is kinda odd tho =(
wat if it's two guys approaching 2 girls?? =P
just an idea comes to mind to make me feel less nervous

[Nick Zebra]

Listen, you're not mounting an offensive. Numbers, stuff like that, just toss it out the window.

Work on what you are offering, then learn how to offer it, girls are interested, and they're just as freaked to come up to you, as you are them.

And now I am totally done with this thread, I've given my 3 years of psyche drop out a spin.

[Jun-Watarase]

You have to pick up social skills and tact through EXPERIENCE. Chances are, it probably won't fare well with you in terms of results... either that, or you'll be stacked with people with lower expectations. But you need EXPERIENCE, whether you succeed or fail, without it, you don't really have anything. After a while, it should become natural. Actually, it should be natural. Until it is, just do your best and learn from there.

[papertiger11]

i guess i'm not so much worried about being shot down. because no matter how cool you are, not every girl that appeals to you will like you back. what i'm afraid of is after i get shot down, seeing her again when she's with her friends. she whispers something to them and they look at me and start to giggle. laughing about how much of a loser i was for even trying. i don't think that's ever happened to me, or at least that i know of, but i can't imagine anything worse.

thanks to all for your insight. i think i have some good conversation starters now. to be honest, i don't really know TOO much about anime and all that jazz. i mean i like it and wish i knew more. so i hope i don't end up looking like a douche for asking some questions.

for the other guys out there, there is one bright side to look at. most of the girls at fanime don't really get too much attention in the "real world" because they don't conform to the standards set by society. they are a little too quirky, down to earth, and interesting than what most folks would consider a "hottie" at our age (ie size 0, big boobs, vapid, etc). so in a setting like fanime, i'm sure they enjoy all of the attention they are not always receiving. even if their intentions aren't strictly for romance. which is cooly by me...

[cappeh]

saying "hi" is fine... but make sure you have something to say after that. going up to a girl and talking to her just for the sake of talking to a girl is really awkward and kind of creepy.

example A:
a girl is standing around with a group of friends and you go up to her and say "hi".
that's not good. it's out of the blue and she probably knows you're trying to talk to her just to talk to a girl. it also puts her in a kind of awkward position cuz now she's torn between hanging out with her friends and talking to this random dude that just came up to her and said "hi" and nothing more. doing that will probably make her avoid you for the rest of the con.

example B:
a girl is waiting in line to play a game that both of you like. here, you can easily start talking to her about the game and maybe find more stuff that both of you are into, making things less awkward. maybe she might even want to talk to you! O__O


just remember:
-don't go into a conversation thinking that this will be your new potential girlfriend. 1) thinking that usually puts you in a better position to blurt out creepy or awkward things, 2) she might already have a boyfriend, and 3) talking to a girl just as a friend is infinitely more comfortable.

-just because she's talking to you or "smiles at you a lot" doesn't mean she wants to bone you. this should be common sense but for some reason a lot of guys think otherwise. :S

[kuroi]

You guys also have to realize that girls are shy too. We're just as nervous about approaching boys to talk as you guys seem to be about approaching us, and we're just as wary about freaking a guy out during a conversation as any guy would be about scaring us off. Personally, I like it when a guy has the courage to talk to me at con, and can be eloquent and genuine and nice. Mainly, just be nice and genuine. You'd be surprised at how easily we can tell when you're lying because you think it'll impress us.

You never know until you try. Also, re conversation topics: be sensible. Don't start talking about the hentai you watched last night, or about some other girl is really hot right off the bat. Questions can be wonderful, as long as they're not too personal at the beginning (e.g. start off with questions like their favorite anime/game/etc before asking what they like to do on weekends normally).

[papertiger11]

i guess the difference is that if a girl comes up to talk to a guy and you're not really into her, the worst you'll think is that she's kinda crazy. but that's cool b/c being crazy ain't so bad. on the flip side, a girl in that situation will think they guy is creepy. and that's infinitely worse than being crazy or anything else really. no guy wants a girl to think he's creepy, even if there is no chemistry in the first place.

[Jun-Watarase]

for the other guys out there, there is one bright side to look at. most of the girls at fanime don't really get too much attention in the "real world" because they don't conform to the standards set by society. they are a little too quirky, down to earth, and interesting than what most folks would consider a "hottie" at our age (ie size 0, big boobs, vapid, etc). so in a setting like fanime, i'm sure they enjoy all of the attention they are not always receiving. even if their intentions aren't strictly for romance. which is cooly by me...

You know, as harsh it may sound, this is very true for many girls I've encountered in the con-scene. Hell, it still holds true for guys to some extent, as well. Standards within anime geeks here and the like tend to be pretty low. Whether or not you feel you should take advantage of this is up to you.

[papertiger11]

You know, as harsh it may sound, this is very true for many girls I've encountered in the con-scene. Hell, it still holds true for guys to some extent, as well. Standards within anime geeks here and the like tend to be pretty low. Whether or not you feel you should take advantage of this is up to you.

I don't think its necessarily that standards are low. Any type of convention is a gathering of people who have the same interests. It just so happens that people into anime are REALLY into it. And it reflects a large portion of their life and who they are. Since anime is a specialized interest, its not embraced (or known) by the majority of folks out there. So in the "real world", its seen as something strange and doesn't garner much attention except for weird looks. Instead of being something really really awesome. As it should be...

[Jun-Watarase]

You know, as harsh it may sound, this is very true for many girls I've encountered in the con-scene. Hell, it still holds true for guys to some extent, as well. Standards within anime geeks here and the like tend to be pretty low. Whether or not you feel you should take advantage of this is up to you.

I don't think its necessarily that standards are low. Any type of convention is a gathering of people who have the same interests. It just so happens that people into anime are REALLY into it. And it reflects a large portion of their life and who they are. Since anime is a specialized interest, its not embraced (or known) by the majority of folks out there. So in the "real world", its seen as something strange and doesn't garner much attention except for weird looks. Instead of being something really really awesome. As it should be...

No. Having low standards and sharing the same geeky interests are two different things.

[Nyxyin]

to be honest, i don't really know TOO much about anime and all that jazz. i mean i like it and wish i knew more. so i hope i don't end up looking like a douche for asking some questions.

I personally think asking for more information about anime is a perfectly valid topic for conversation.  Don't worry about asking newbie questions - it's the fastest way to learn.  I personally love to introduce people to anime I like.  Besides, there are a whole lot of anime series out there, and it's just not reasonable to expect everybody to know about every last anime series out there.  Most people would be new to some percentage of anime out there. 

[Kaura117]

saying "hi" is fine... but make sure you have something to say after that. going up to a girl and talking to her just for the sake of talking to a girl is really awkward and kind of creepy.

example A:
a girl is standing around with a group of friends and you go up to her and say "hi".
that's not good. it's out of the blue and she probably knows you're trying to talk to her just to talk to a girl. it also puts her in a kind of awkward position cuz now she's torn between hanging out with her friends and talking to this random dude that just came up to her and said "hi" and nothing more. doing that will probably make her avoid you for the rest of the con.

example B:
a girl is waiting in line to play a game that both of you like. here, you can easily start talking to her about the game and maybe find more stuff that both of you are into, making things less awkward. maybe she might even want to talk to you! O__O


just remember:
-don't go into a conversation thinking that this will be your new potential girlfriend. 1) thinking that usually puts you in a better position to blurt out creepy or awkward things, 2) she might already have a boyfriend, and 3) talking to a girl just as a friend is infinitely more comfortable.

-just because she's talking to you or "smiles at you a lot" doesn't mean she wants to bone you. this should be common sense but for some reason a lot of guys think otherwise. :S

Bolding and italicising for emphasis.

[Jerry]

wait, there are girls at the Con?
oh right.

aside from all the good points that the girls bring up. Put yourself in a situation where you find people with similar interests and make sure they give you a vibe where you could join in.

Sure you might be shy, sure you might be nervous, sure you've prolly never talked to real boys or girls outside of your anime and video games... but just give a shot and practice.

sometimes you might goof up. have an awkward moment or accidentally give off a 'weird' vibe but life goes on. try to learn from your mistakes, and again get a sense for what the people your trying to talk to are into. that way you have some idea how to get the conversation going.

simply put have fun, socialize with people you feel comfortable and if its a good click of friends, then exchange contact info and go from there.

or heck meet ppl here first and then meet in person?
yah, like that never works.  ::)

oh and randomly groping someone is NOT the way of meeting people. well... unless of course ur dressed up like Miroku or another randomly pervy cosplayer and again its done with the right circumstances...

"there is a ominous cloud overhead my dear maiden" *grope* "oh forgive me, tis this cursed hand i have---- care to bear my child?  ;)"

heh heh.

[JTchinoy]

oh great, another "how to talk to girls panel" debate. :)

i'm not chiming in on this one.  :D

[Rei-Rei]

What usually happens when a guy say something awkward to me, as long as it's not too creepy, I'll just move on and talk about something else.
But I mean I don't really mind either if they continue talking... Someone has to break the awkward moment.

[Jerry]

yah, i doubt a fart is a good way to break an akward silence.

then again i know ALOT of people that use random sound effects when theyre too bored and they have nothing else better to say or do.

or just break out into a song or dance.

heck its an anime convention, anything can and WILL happen.

[kgHapa]

Watch this, it will answer all of your questions....ever...in life:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Mp7Ikko8SI&feature=user
;D ;D

[JTchinoy]

how much does a polar bear weigh?

just enough to break the ice.