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Everything Else => Things in the Universe => Topic started by: mDuo13 on December 26, 2006, 11:54:14 PM

Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: mDuo13 on December 26, 2006, 11:54:14 PM
I had been thinking about doing this for a while but hadn't really decided whether or not it would be considered in bad taste, but since Chun sort of went ahead and directly duplicated Otakuapprentice's thread for himself, then it must be the worst possible time for a third, similar thread to appear, because then it would seem like a fad that will be quickly dispersed. And, according to this logic, I am thusly necessitated by all that is good and just in internet, to cease hesitation and announce:

The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future

Yeah, that's right, I have recently acquired the ability to peer into the shadowy depths of time and space in order to tell you exactly what things will happen to you* - in 7 minutes and 28 seconds, in 8 hours, or 20 years!

You can prompt me on just how far ahead you want me to predict, and if you don't give me anything, I'll just throw out whatever event looms most prominently in your futurethreads. So without further ado, go ahead ask! It's completely free**!

Queue:
gmontem
Minagi-chan
Philip
Emerge
BP!
Golden State Warrior
BrightHeart76
KawaiiAngel

*Or a parallel-universe version of you. The visions rarely specify in which alternate universe they take place.
**Given that time is money, you will make a small investment to ask and receive the predictions of your future. I offer this service pro-bono, "AS IS", with no warranty, express or implied, including, but not limited to, the implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose.
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Sucrose on December 27, 2006, 12:04:52 AM
All right, where will I be (in all applicable senses) in five years?
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Sunara Ishi on December 27, 2006, 12:41:04 AM
Ok... then,

who will I be thinking of? X3

or better:

who will be my romantic love interest?
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: mDuo13 on December 27, 2006, 12:51:23 AM
Quote from: "Sucrose"All right, where will I be (in all applicable senses) in five years?

The murk is unclouding... I am seeing it come out... there you are! Sucrose! You are...

sitting... you are sitting on a chair in one of the first spaceships of inmates being sent to the penal colony on the moon. The circumstances leading up to this situation... they are becoming clear... I will start from the beginning.

Two years from now, the small island nation of Palau will discover ancient technology from the lost civilization of the Mayans, whose reed boats took them to the island where they built a huge stone-geared apparatus. Among the research team were Google CEO Sergey Brin, Former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, and Steve Irwin's undead body. This unlikely team discovered that, on the island of Palau, the Mayans had developed a mode of spaceship propulsion that is far more efficient than anything NASA had ever tested. Scientists theorize that when the Mayans abandoned their cities in the 9th century, they were actually flying into space to escape before the end of the world. Google promptly patents the rights to the rocket fuel, but Steve Irwin's zombie leaks the secrets to a covert organization of college students who organize a colony on the moon apart from all government laws and regulations. You are surreptitiously inculcated into this group, which demands the utmost secrecy. Their meetings are disguised as wanton college partying.

When their plot is eventually revealed by the Boy Scouts, cyborg President Dick Cheney declares martial law and ends university programs everywhere. The CIA recruits a team of espers to track down the members of Wonderful Hopes for Yestermorrow (your organization) in a campaign spanning two years. Eventually, with the help of Cheney's cyborg super-senses, you are caught as you walk across the stage for your college graduation. You survive a lengthy public trial, in which your constitutional rights are violated by the up-and-coming attorney Manfred von Karma. Sandra Day O'Connor attempts to defend you but is seen as tainted by the Steve Irwin Zombie Security Leak, and you are sentenced to life inprisonment. In a dramatic and attemptdly ironic move, the colony your organization was building on the moon is converted into a maximum security prison, where political prisoners of the new cyberconservative regime are sent to mine for precious minerals all day long.

But wait! There is something wrong here... you are writhing out of your seat! The lights are flashing red! A freak meteor has impacted with the prison shuttle, causing all the fuel to be expended at once! The space shuttle slingshots around Earth and Jupiter, and hurtles at breakneck speeds into the deepest reaches... of outer space...

The vision is closing now... I cannot see farther at the moment. Perhaps in the future I can foretell what befalls your fateful crew of WHY members... IN THE FUTURE!
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: mDuo13 on December 27, 2006, 01:05:02 AM
Quote from: "Sunara Ishi"Ok... then,

who will I be thinking of? X3

or better:

who will be my romantic love interest?
There you are... the murk is unclouding! I can see you there... Sunara Ishi!

Your mind right now is thinking of too many people... it cycles from one to another almost at random. You will face a crushing blow to your ego, when your one true love (Brad Pitt) refuses to divorce for your sake. This will be only the start of your tragic story, however...

The deep depression of Pitt's rejection leaves you in deepest regression for which you can make no confession... You hide yourself away from all society in a room populated by as many video game systems and anime DVDs as you can collect by whatever means necessary. As the collection begins to strain the available space in your underground lair, you stumble upon the ingenious idea to begin combining consoles and media players into the most powerful single electronic device ever. You name it... the Phantom.

With four limbs, three different optical drives, uncountable cartridge slots and enough random access memory to store the CIA database a hundred times over, the Phantom is ready to go... you fire it up, only to discover that you have crosswired the input and output devices, causing the Phantom to alter reality! Trying to calm this almost sorcerous power, you unintentionally summon King Arturia Saber, whose steadfast and direct personality helps you regain your human emotions. Together, you take on Brad Pitt and his worthless wife, and extract your revenge for ruining your life.

Even as you begin to celebrate, Saber realizes that she is dying, her mana being exhausted by the draining effect of being transported across space and time by mechanical magic. She announces that there is only one way to save her life, and you agree. You'll do anything, even sacrifice your life, for her, after she has saved you so. "I love you, Saber," you say at last, to which she replies: "Then, restore my mana."

Hot hot yuri action ensues and the two of you live happily ever after. I would love to give you the details... but I can see no farther at the moment. Perhaps in the future I can foretell the details of your lesbian love life... IN THE FUTURE!
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Sucrose on December 27, 2006, 01:10:54 AM
...I like this thread already. Holy cow.
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Chun on December 27, 2006, 01:14:55 AM
Just to clarify: I didn't read Otaku's thread, I pretty much felt like making the thread so I did.

Future told huh? Give me shot for kicks :).

~Chun
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: mDuo13 on December 27, 2006, 01:42:01 AM
Quote from: "Sucrose"...I like this thread already. Holy cow.
You will like the movie version, produced by Miramax and directed by Peter Jackson, with a script by Albert Broccoli, much better. Or, to be more specific, you would, but you won't be able to see it because Cyborg President Cheney will have it censored and only a few lucky black-market viewers (including Sunara) will see it.
Quote from: "Chun"Just to clarify: I didn't read Otaku's thread, I pretty much felt like making the thread so I did.

Future told huh? Give me shot for kicks :).

~Chun
There you are... the murk is unclouding! I can see you there... Chun!

The shot you are receiving right now is in fact a bullet, a bullet to the head which will end your first life. The reality-altering effects of Sunara's Phantom machine have somehow run amok, causing the entire city of Osaka, Japan (where you are working as part of the JET program) to re-enact 1960s Dallas, Texas. Your consciouness is trapped within the body of JFK, as Lee Harvey Oswald fires his rifle at you... missing completely! However, the second gunman, a JFK from an alternate future in which the cast of Red Dwarf convinced him to assassinate himself, fires from a grassy knoll, and his aim is true: you have a heck of a headache for a moment, and then your consciousness fades out.

But it is not over yet, as the Osakan government has within it... a member of the Tohsaka family, whose brilliant sorcery is enough to partially undo the reality-altering effects of Sunara's Phantom. On account of this brilliant heiress, you are brought back to life, and freed from Kennedy's body... though the magic is imperfect and you find yourself in the body of Yagami Light... not that you're complaining. Well, you complain a little bit to yourself about how she managed to turn you into a character from the Kanto region even though you were clearly residing in Kansai at the time.

Regardless, you decide to take full advantage of the situation by finding the Death Note so you can use it to create a world of true moe, where only the most attractive survive! However, you accidentally trigger one of the security mechanisms guarding the book, incinerating both it and your entire house. You are charged with arson and during the trial, your true identity is revealed. You are exiled to the United States, where you are brainwashed by Youtube. You seek surgery to cure your burns and end up being transformed into a cyborg ninja who stalks out college students who are trying to utilize ancient Mayan technology to escape from society. Your help is essentially in catching the leader of the Santa Cruz cell, Sucrose, whom you only later realize was a former acquaintance.

This realization troubles you, and you begin to resist the brainwashing. It is a slow and somewhat unintentional process, but you imbibe shot after shot of the hardest, vilest liquor you can find, trying to regain your former self, if only for the duration of your drunken stupor. Still, the Youtubers, under the direction of Google CEO Sergey Brin (who is in turn being manipulated by Steve Irwin's zombie) try harder and it seems like all your progress will be lost... until you taste the mysterious yellow jam in a package which arrives at your door one Christmas morning. The bitter, burning, yet unfathomably sweet flavor somehow burns all the fog from your mind, faster than a bullet to your JFK-head, and you realize the evil deeds you have been tricked into doing for the past four years.

As penance for your sins, you decide to seek out the dark power which was controlling Steve Irwin's zombie (and, in turn, the world) and you use your cyborg ninja powers to evade the very police who gave you those powers to begin with. I wish I could tell you the outcome of your quest, but the vision is closing... I can see no farther at the moment. Perhaps in the future I can foretell your adventures in seeking out the dark power behind all the evil in the world... IN THE FUTURE!
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Sunara Ishi on December 27, 2006, 02:08:40 AM
Quote from: "mDuo13"
You will like the movie version, produced by Miramax and directed by Peter Jackson, with a script by Albert Broccoli, much better. Or, to be more specific, you would, but you won't be able to see it because Cyborg President Cheney will have it censored and only a few lucky black-market viewers (including Sunara) will see it.
Ooooo. I guess I'll have to have a top secret movie night in the future.
Starts planning guest list: Tsubasa, Spirit, Chun, J, Lisu, Ryu..... (VIP seats)
I think I'll sit Tsu between me and Saber. X3
I guess Sucrose can go if she survives and makes it back to earth.
Dunno where to place Tsu's future moe harem. XP
Depending on what I'm like then, maybe there'd be a even more top secret orgy with said orgy and owner. XP j/k?
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: gmontem on December 27, 2006, 02:17:46 AM
mDuo, what happens to me when I wake up in a few hours? :P
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Moogleborg on December 27, 2006, 03:57:34 AM
Future predicting eh? ^^

Try me out! :D At least within the next 10 years? ^^
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Tsubasa on December 27, 2006, 09:26:27 AM
Am I going to get the good ending?
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: KimaLucifer on December 27, 2006, 09:55:29 AM
Hm.

So what brand of clothing will I be whoring out past new-years?
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Spiritsnare on December 27, 2006, 10:29:40 AM
Quote from: "mDuo13"
Even as you begin to celebrate, Saber realizes that she is dying, her mana being exhausted by the draining effect of being transported across space and time by mechanical magic. She announces that there is only one way to save her life, and you agree. You'll do anything, even sacrifice your life, for her, after she has saved you so. "I love you, Saber," you say at last, to which she replies: "Then, restore my mana."

I died at the end of this paragraph due to asphyxiation from laughter.

Question: With my high school SOS Brigade, will I attract the attention of aliens, time-travellers, and/or espers?
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Barnes on December 27, 2006, 11:24:10 AM
When will I finally snap? :twisted:
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: mDuo13 on December 27, 2006, 12:49:47 PM
(Oh man, 6 predictions... this could take a while.)
Quote from: "gmontem"mDuo, what happens to me when I wake up in a few hours? :P

There you are... the murk is unclouding! I can see you there... Gmontem!

You are waking up... the world coming into focus around you... but something is wrong. You're not in your bed at home! You are surrounded by... men with black cloths over their mouths. You can only see their eyes, as the four of them lean over your body staring at you. You struggle to get up, but your arms have been latched in place. Straining to turn your head, you hear one of the ninjas mumble, "He's awake."

The room appears to be large, though you can't exactly see in all directions. The ceiling is obscured by flourescent lights that are hurting your eyes; off to the sides, panelling in stripes of white-grey-black causes you to momentarily contemplate the proper contrast and saturation ratios for the lighting in the room before suddenly all you can think about is the stabbing pain in your arm! One of the doctor ninjas has injected you with something. You can't hear exactly what it says to the other ninja doctor (this one with a white lab coat over his black coverings), but you hear the phrase "nanomachines" and that makes you twitch. "Wait, nanomachines?" you ask frightenedly, and the facial expression you catch in reflection off the ninja's scalpel is so exaggerated you don't even recognize yourself. You faint.

A series of murmors is all that I can see of your next two days. "Make sure the replacement posts on that bulletin board so they don't know he's missing." "The nanomachines are being absorbed into the brain at an above-standard rate. He must have some predisposition to electronic stimuli." "Are you sure he has a Youtube account?" "The modifications to the subject's camera are completed." Finally your eyes awaken to the harsh flash of the flourescent lights once more. All you can see is a mysterious black man, who stands bald and silent. A voice from somewhere else says, "Do it," and he reaches for your forehead.

You awake in your own bed later this week with a splitting headache and a bit of a sore throat. You feel otherwise normal... and you have no memories whatsoever of the past few days.

I wish I could tell you what will happen when you meet the Fanimafia this Saturday, but the vision is closing... I can see no farther at the moment. Perhaps in the future I can foretell how the secret operations performed on you will affect everyone you know... IN THE FUTURE!
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: mDuo13 on December 27, 2006, 01:12:12 PM
(Tsubasa, KimaLucifer, Spiritsnare, Barnes: I will get to your predictions in the order the requests were posted. Hopefully I won't fall too behind. Foretelling the future takes time, though. Have patience.)
Quote from: "Moogleborg"Future predicting eh? ^^

Try me out! :D At least within the next 10 years? ^^
There you are... the murk is unclouding! I can see you there... Moogleborg!

By some stretch of luck and coincidence, you will avoid being the among first to be inculcated into the cult of Youtube as Gmontem's nanomachines and modified camera create brainwashing videos which your out-of-date computer cannot display properly. Unaware of your good luck, you purchase a new computer which happens to come with some mysterious pack-in software with 3D imaging of various asteroids which will fly through the inner solar system within the next 10 years... even asteroids which will have been heretofore unobserved.

Captivated by this mysterious program, you watch even as the first of the unpredicted asteroids is announced by NASA to have flown past the moon on a startlingly close trajectory. You become captivated by this software, and spend all your free hours watching the predictions over and over again, verifying them with astronomical news reports, and in the process still avoiding the brainwashing power of Youtube. Even the election of Cyborg President Dick Cheney doesn't faze you... but then you hear about the uncovering of ancient Mayan spaceflight technology. You follow the reports closely and manage to piece together a series of suspicions regarding the way these technologies are being used. You hear rumors of a college organization that is building a colony on the moon to escape the cyberconservative regime, but the presence of such rumors is proof that they are going to fail.

You reverse-engineer the asteroid software and manage to discover an entirely new type of computer programming at work, utilizing telltale signs left behind on the quantum level by the programmer's brain. Processing the comments gives you limited, mathematical futuresight, and you utilize this to start your own mutual funds company and accumulate a fortune.

On Wall Street one day while gathering data, you encounter a mysterious rocket scientist who claims his sister once knew you. You cannot verify his claims, but he seems to be earnest. You accept the allegations, and let him in on the secret source of your financial success, the asteroid prediction program. He quickly realizes that this knowledge was given to you for a reason: you only need to know what this reason is.

I wish I could let you know what the reason was, but the vision is closing now... I can see no further at the moment. Perhaps in the future I can foretell how you and the mysterious rocket scientist use the asteroid prediction software... IN THE FUTURE!
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: mDuo13 on December 27, 2006, 01:51:27 PM
Quote from: "Tsubasa"Am I going to get the good ending?
There you are... the murk is unclouding! I can see you there... Tsubasa!

You are sitting at a computer... playing a visual novel. It's the finally-translated version of Fate/Stay Night! You appear to be following the Unlimited Blade Works path, closing in on an ending sequence, when the screen goes black. Frantically, you attempt to restart your computer several times, but nothing comes up. The scent of singed electronics reaches your nose, and you curse, oh so quietly, under your breath. You won't get any ending.

You check the other electronics in the house: the TV is also broken. The lights refuse to turn on. It seems that everything is dead except things that run on batteries. You pull out your cell phone: no service. Outside, the neighbors' houses seem similarly dark. You begin to wonder if a massive power surge blasted through the entire grid. In a flash of insight, you look at the sky and see that the south and east are dark for miles off; but to the north there is a startlingly bright light... and it illuminates a plume of smoke. You start running that way immediately.

You are not the first person to reach the site; you have noticed several others running towards it as you got nearer. They stand gawking around the perimeter of the power plant, where smoke obscures everything except the skeletal outlines of broken windows and crumbling walls. Debris continues to rain down lightly around, spattering everyone with dust and dirt. You vaguely wonder if you are coming into contact with anything radioactive or poisonous, but the police, who arrived only moments before you did, assure you that the power plant was environmentally friendly and you won't possibly contract anything worse than the Black Lung.

As a matter of fact, however, the radioactivity of the power plant was not the problem here. A secondary explosion rockets off from within the plant, and the audience gasps as they catch sight of a chunk of burnt spaceship flying into the air. It lands, with a startling thump, mere feet away from you. You can see inside the blackened skeletons of burnt bodies, but before you turn away in disgust, you see something more: a glowing conrol panel, somehow impossibly still working within the wreck.

You are compelled by curiousity to walk inside the smoltering wreck, neverminding the small flames that lick at your shirt, and to press the lit button. A surreal recorded voice announces "Cure Virus Containment Seal Released. Warning: biocontaminants now present in the area. Evacuate for your own safety" but you are too stunned to move. Suddenly, you feel your throat close up and you clutch at it, trying to breathe, but you fail. The world goes dark around you... but you are not dead.

The vision is closing now... I can see no further at the moment. Perhaps in the future I can foretell the effects of the Cure Virus on you and the trouble in which you will be caught... IN THE FUTURE!
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: mDuo13 on December 27, 2006, 02:24:43 PM
Quote from: "KimaLucifer"Hm.

So what brand of clothing will I be whoring out past new-years?

There you are... the murk is unclouding! I can see you there... KimaLucifer!

You will receive a large anonymous package in the mail, and inside it is a series of shirts, skirts, pants, and other clothing with embedded LEDs that display actual glowing messages on the fabrics. The only clue to the identity of the creators is the "Powered by Philips" tags on each. Awed by the ability to become a walking, glowing beacon of fashion, you don't even bother to closely examine what is being displayed. You are not suitably mystified when flocks of men and women seem slavishly attracted to the glowing, pulsing designs, but you do take your opportunities as you see them and start to form your followers into something the magazines call a "fashion whorehouse". Some others among your crew receive similar packages, and your legion of luminescently-clothed slaves begins to take over the Kantou region of Japan.

(Little did you know, but the spread of the glowing legion actually frightens Yagami Light enough that he moves to Osaka where his consciousness will later be accidentally overwritten by Chun's.)

Then one day, every one of the glowing pieces of clothing starts displaying the exact same pattern. This has never happened before, so you stare inquisitively at the pattern: and this becomes your downfall. The subliminal commands of the flickering lights use the same technology as the tainted Youtube videos, and your conscious mind is left with only one overriding thought: you must travel to a third world country. The most convenient one is China so you hop on the very first flight available. The turbulence during the flight is unusually high, and you glance out the window to see a flaming oblong shape searing a westerly path across to the Pacific... but that is all, for the time being. The thoughts of reaching China once again take over your mind. Startlingly, the plane lands safely.

As you exit the plane, you count up the number of new converts you have accumulated: roughly half the passengers are slobbering after your flourescent raiments. But there is one person standing in the terminal who looks right at you and seems completely unaffected: that person's stare pierces right through you.

The vision is closing now... I can see no further at the moment. Perhaps in the future I can foretell just who you meet on your brainwashed journey to China... IN THE FUTURE!
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: mDuo13 on December 27, 2006, 09:19:14 PM
(erk, this one came out to be quite long. The narrative structure of these seems to be changing as they go.)

Quote from: "Spiritsnare"Question: With my high school SOS Brigade, will I attract the attention of aliens, time-travellers, and/or espers?

There you are... the murk is unclouding! I can see you there... Spiritsnare! (hey, it rhymes!)

Your high school SOS Brigade is only the starting point of your involvement with aliens, time-travellers, and espers. None of the members you have accumulated so far are actually aliens, time-travellers, or espers, yet... but that will change. The circumstances leading up to this situation... they are becoming clear... I will start from the beginning.

You will be recording another tatsujin of Beatmania IIDX when you receive a phone call from Tsubasa. He is currently being held in a local hospital because of supposed radiation poisoning, but he thinks something is wrong. He would specify more but is afraid to do so over the phone. He gives you the address of the hospital and his room number, where you head over immediately.

He tells you about his encounter at the power plant; you also noticed the outage but did not actually leave the house when it happened. Your PS2 had been luckily unplugged, though your family had to get a new TV. Tsubasa claims that he found something different in the spaceship: a computer panel that mentioned the "Cure Virus". Tsubasa suspects he may have been infected with it after he pushed the button: he collapsed after having breathed in a large amount of smoke and dust, but recovered in record time. The doctor at the hospital refuses to believe that he is better and let him leave, but he suspects they may be concealing something else.

Following his lead, you have your high school SOS Brigade begin to investigate the background of the hospital owners, and the particular doctors assigned to Tsubasa. You immediately find that he has an unusual number of doctors, at least three, assigned to his case, which implies that something strange is going on. However, he is eventually released without incident and the limited resources available to your team of high school students can find out nothing more.

A few weeks later, a mysterious transfer student from Moscow, named Ikusti, asks to join your club. You gladly oblige him, but are shocked to find out that he is better than you at Guitar Hero II. In fact, he is better than you at every music and rhythm game out there. It's almost like he has memorized the notes - you even catch him one time, when he looks away to someone else in the club and continues to get a string of perfects on a song that he claimed never to have played before.

Ikusti's abnormal skill at rhythm games aside, nothing else interesting happens to your club for some time; but aside from the club, you get an anonymous warning message via AIM, demanding that you "stay away from Youtube". You wouldn't normally listen to such a message, but the messenger relays to you a secret that no one besides yourself should know. Out of caution, you stop viewing the video website, even as its popularity skyrockets beyond the likes of Amazon and eBay.

However, one day you receive a sudden phone call from Tsubasa. This is rather rare since both of you are awkward on the phone and would prefer to communicate in another way. All he says is, "It's real. Meet me at Unlimited Gaming Works tomorrow and I'll explain."

It takes no guesswork to realize that he is referring to Milpitas Golfland, but the problem of not having a ride there from Tsu, as normal, troubles you. You manage to find your way there on public transit, and you encounter him within the arcade. He wastes no time: "The Cure Virus. I have it. I accidentally cut myself while cooking last night and it healed completely within an hour."

"Uh, cool?" you say. "I don't get what's going on."

"I think there are spies looking out for it. Whatever that spaceship was that crashed into the power plant, someone wanted what was in it, and they think I have it. Maybe I do."

"So what do we do?"

"We have to find out more about that wreck. Where it came from. What was on it. I know that wasn't a NASA satellite like they said it was. There were dead bodies."

After this conversation (and a few games - after all, you didn't pay the Golfland fee for nothing), you call up the members of your club.

Nobody has any ideas, and the meeting splits up in dissatisfaction, but at the end, a sort of cute lolita-looking upperclassman by the name of Mia calls you aside for a secret conversation.

"I can't tell you everything, because it's classified information, but I am actually a refugee from the future. I have come back here to make sure everything comes out favorably for my organization. You have to be careful: one of the members of your club is actually a spy from the government that has been sent to keep you under control. I know because they used the same group of espers to catch me, not too many years from now. They want that power your friend has discovered. It is vital to our cause that he survive. Save Tsubasa, save the world."

The vision is closing now... I can see no further at the moment. Perhaps in the future I can foretell the rest of your conversation with the mysterious upperclassman, and the fate of the world... IN THE FUTURE!
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: BP! on December 27, 2006, 11:37:15 PM
I don't want to know what would happen to me; I'd rather find out if you can see YOUR OWN FUTURE!
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: mDuo13 on December 28, 2006, 09:09:52 AM
Quote from: "BP!"I don't want to know what would happen to me; I'd rather find out if you can see YOUR OWN FUTURE!
Sorry, but that's against the rules. This is "The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future" - it'd get boring if I was just predicting my own. Besides, I have too much influence over my own future, so the predictions are worthless.

Quote from: "Barnes"When will I finally snap? :twisted:

There you are... the murk is unclouding! I can see you there... Barnes!

This Saturday, Gmontem will take your picture, but when the greater powers who are monitoring his camera observe you in it, they will panic. "It's him!" says one. "The rebel!" "We've got to stop him before he awakens to his true self!" "No, it's too dangerous!" "We have no other choice."

A few days later, as you leave school, men in black suits will hop out of a black sedan and drug you. When you awaken, you are sitting, tied to a chair, in an interrogation room. A dastardly-looking midget the guard calls "The Baby" will come in and ask you if you know why you're there, which of course you don't. After brutally hitting you with his cane, to which you are unresponsive, he will demand that the guard bring in, "the ultimate torture" - this has you a little worried.

The guard brings in a tray of food, complete with a warm bread roll, a glass of milk, and a bowl of chicken soup. "What did you put in the soup?" you demand, knowing it must be poisoned or drugged somehow.

"Well, aside from the chicken and the broth, there are onions, celery, carrots, a little wild rice, a touch of cabbage, and a smidgeon of ginger for taste," he says cheekily. "Now eat."

Much to his surprise, you take up the spoon and finish the entire bowl. "Not bad," you say, "but it could have used a touch of garlic."

Horrified, The Baby turns to one of his guards. "You've brought in the wrong one, you idiot! This isn't the rebel!"

"No, I'm sure this is him! There's no mistaking it!"

"He must be a lookalike or something! He ate soup!"

"Oh, is that what this was all about?" you will interject. "I hate to inform you, but my motto is just a joke. I still eat soup. What are you, some sort of Progresso Secret Police?"

The Baby looks at you, his eyes bulging. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!" he shouts.

"Am I free to go now?" you ask.

The Baby's demeanor suddenly darkens, as he has regained his confidence. "On the contrary," he says, "I think now we have made a lot of progress. And being as you have revealed your secret, I think it is time we reverted to normal measures," he says, withdrawing a pair of rather large nail clippers. "Ever seen these?" he asks...

The torture is long and painful. You barely feel like you are going to survive it sometimes. Your fingers are a bloody mess. Finally, a broken and battered body is thrown into a dumpster in an alleyway. He thinks you will die there, and that is why he has made a mistake. You have caught the name of his organization: the National Cyberist Workers Party. You will survive, and even after affiliated groups take over the government, you will fight against them.

And you will never eat soup again.

The vision is closing now... I can see no farther at the moment. Perhaps in the future I can foretell why the cyberconservatives feared you, or whom you will meet in your campaign against them... IN THE FUTURE!
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Barnes on December 28, 2006, 12:34:30 PM
So, I'll be tortured into never eating soup again, eh?
Better fix my sig then. :lol:
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Chibblz on December 29, 2006, 12:03:42 AM
Lawl~ I might as well give you something to un-bored yourself with. O_o

WHERE WILL I BE IN THE NEXT FEW YEARRRSSS~?

Will the sky fall and hit my head, causing me to enter into a coma for a decade? Or will I spaz out from playing too much RagnarokOnline? Oh~~! DO tell! =O
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: zoupzuop2 on December 29, 2006, 08:39:17 PM
Will I fall from Normalcy?
Or will I remain the n00bish little Jebus kid?
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: gmontem on December 29, 2006, 10:58:56 PM
mDuo13, predict my match against Karen in in the Guitar Hero 2 Battle for the Xmas Tree. D:
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Minagi-chan on December 30, 2006, 12:50:04 AM
O great and powerful Oz,  I MEAN mDuo13...  What will my life be like for the next ten years?  Will I become a drug dealer?  I'd not like that, I think.  : )
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Philip on December 30, 2006, 01:05:20 AM
What is the most awesome thing I will ever do?
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: LastElixir on December 30, 2006, 06:53:10 AM
Quote from: "Philip"What is the most awesome thing I will ever do?

dunno, maybe eating a frisbee whole, and then shooting it out of your butt and your dog catching it in mid air?

...you can atleast try can't you?

j
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Emerge on December 31, 2006, 02:49:37 AM
knowing vicodin did nothing more than make my poop hard, will there ever be a painkiller that can aid me during post-surgery pain (heaven forbid i'll suffer THAT again...)?
Title: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: BP! on December 31, 2006, 04:00:47 AM
After seeing how bad I bowled today, will I ever be better at bowling?
Title: Re: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: mDuo13 on February 18, 2008, 02:36:32 PM
A recent glimpse of new vision restored my abilities, and so I embark on a Greater Thread Necromancy. But before I begin, allow me to forewarn: the past months and years have forced new developments, created new future paths, and closed others. That which was once almost certain is now less than plausible. But enough with the mysticism: let us proceed TO THE FUTURE!

Quote from: Chibblz on December 29, 2006, 12:03:42 AMWHERE WILL I BE IN THE NEXT FEW YEARRRSSS~?

Will the sky fall and hit my head, causing me to enter into a coma for a decade? Or will I spaz out from playing too much RagnarokOnline? Oh~~! DO tell! =O

There you are... the murk is unclouding! I can see you there... Chibblz!

The sky is falling... or at least that's the impression you get - it is a strange sky, a brown and green sky, speckled with ridged blue, a sky with lines etched across its surface, and it is soaring down from its perch above you towards your head. But that is not the only way of seeing things! For it occurs to you, after some time, that rather you are falling down towards not the sky, but the ground, because the sky is below your feet, but also above - and this realization is approximately the last one you make before your catastrophic impact with the ground, which digs a deep crater.

You awaken from your slumber within the crater some years later, though you are unsure how many. You awaken when a team of Portugese-speaking archaeologists, following the cave that runs underneath your crater, discovers the wreckage of your collision. "Where am I?" you wonder aloud. "Who am I?" But the archaeologists, even those among them who have a basic knowledge of English, have no answer to either question. The latter, they don't know; the former, they cannot say, for to speak aloud such a thing would be to alert the Listeners to them. After many incomprehensible interactions, the group of you develop a sign language which allows them to express their situation: Cyborg President Dick Cheney has sent a team to invade their country, and released robotic surveillance sentries, disguised as flies, to hunt down the resistance. The archaeologists, however, retreated across a days-long hike through mud and overgrowth into a Lost City, one known only to a few researchers. Thus far they have been safe, but the prospects of long-term survival worry them.

Working together, you and the archaeologists slowly learn the ways to detect and sap the spy-sentries, modifying their intricate workings through a method not unlike Pipe Dream. They refer to you as the Awakened One, who foretells the coming of the Great End. The Mayans foretold your existence: a being, bathed in rock, misshapen of body and speaking a foreign tongue, who would describe a fall from the sky and help to calm the world in its final days... but even as they revere you so, you begin to wonder how you came to have fallen from the sky in the first place. Certainly, you recall some sort of experiment, a test of a new form of rocket fuel, conducted in secrecy somewhere in South America. But beyond that, all that springs to your mind is the hazy silhouette of a laughing figure, as he kicks you out the door of an airplane, and then the loss of consciousness, you surmise due to acceleration. The implications are maddeningly obscure.

The vision is closing now... I can see no farther at the moment. Perhaps in the future I can foretell who kicked you out of the plane, or what will be the fate of the spy-sentry-sapping archaeologists in the Lost City... IN THE FUTURE!
Title: Re: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: Golden State Warrior on February 18, 2008, 03:27:59 PM
What's up, Duo.

What do you see me doing in about three months?
Title: Re: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: BrightHeart76 on February 18, 2008, 03:33:59 PM
LOL!  This thread is made of awesome.  I haven't laughed this hard in months!   ;D

Easy one... What will I be doing in ::checks the fanime.com first page:: 96 day 8 hours and 28 minutes? Or any of the 4 days following that.
Title: Re: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: mDuo13 on February 19, 2008, 03:32:39 PM
Quote from: BrightHeart76 on February 18, 2008, 03:33:59 PM
LOL!  This thread is made of awesome.  I haven't laughed this hard in months!   ;D
Sorry to hear that my pitiful little thread is the funniest thing you've heard in a while, but I'm glad you like it.

Quote from: zoupzuop2 on December 29, 2006, 08:39:17 PM
Will I fall from Normalcy?
Or will I remain the n00bish little Jebus kid?
There you are... the murk is unclouding! I can see you there... zoupzuop2!

The urge to Normalcy is strong. Every day, you wake up in the Land of Coffee, watch the morning Youtube Videos, and proceed to do incredibly normal things that any conservative, religious, cyborg-Cheney-fearing citizen would do. You have a job, serving your country by providing loyal citizens with the energy they need - especially if it comes in the form of a Swiss Double-Decaf-Shot Double-Dark-Chocolate Irish Cream Dry-Iced Latte with Ginseng. It satisfies you, because the Cult of Youtube satisfies you and The Cult of Youtube demands it of you. But that will not be true forever...

One day, a battered and bloody Barnes appears at your door. It takes you a while to recognize him. He huffs, and begs you to let him use your bathroom to wash up. Like a good normal Jebus kid, you oblige. After he has bandaged his fingers and otherwise cleaned up, Barnes emerges and gives his thanks. But then his mood darkens. "I'm sorry to do this to you, but it has to be done. Keytar."

And with the uttering of the word, your trance is broken. You suddenly recall that possession which formerly granted you so much joy, that wondrous blending of electric piano and guitar. The Cult of Youtube's hold over you is broken. "But how did you know what to say?" is all you can utter. Barnes shakes his head. "I got a call from Spiritsnare a while back. I don't know how he figured it out, but he knew what to say. The Rebel must awaken The Minstrel. In turn, the entire Cast will rise."

The vision is closing now... I can see no farther at the moment. Perhaps in the future I can foretell who the Cast are, or what will be the fate of your future missions... IN THE FUTURE!
Title: Re: The Thread Where mDuo13 Predicts Your Future [Predicting...]
Post by: KawaiiAngel on February 19, 2008, 03:39:02 PM
OOOH predict my future!! All seeing, all knowing mduo13!!!