Recently I've been having some trouble convincing my parents to let me go to FanimeCon this year. They agreed earlier in the year, and I already have my fees paid and my cosplay done. But recently they saw some yaoi pictures that I took last year at the Con, and totally flipped out. Nothing too far above G-rated was in the pictures, just two girls kissing while in cosplay, and no harm was done and they're married anyways. But my parents are really traditional-minded, and decided that they didn't want me going to a place where things like that were going on and everything.
But I think they've got the wrong idea of Fanime. How do I convince them that I'm not trying to go just to watch people make out, and that I'm actually just going because of the cosplay and the fun? I can't just tell them that things like that aren't happening around every corner there, because they're not going themselves and they're not too ready to believe me right now. So how do I let them know that I'm not just making up excuses, and that I'm old enough to make my own decisions and to reognize what I want to learn from and what I don't want to imitate or anything?
You won't =P
But to be helpful, you could always try to explain to them that the kissing had nothing to do with anything with the Con itself. Or better yet how then other pictures of Con (You can't have only pictures of such things, can you?).
Tell them what the Con is about perhaps.
Quote from: TC_X0_Lt_0X on April 17, 2009, 04:34:57 PM
You won't =P
But to be helpful, you could always try to explain to them that the kissing had nothing to do with anything with the Con itself. Or better yet how then other pictures of Con (You can't have only pictures of such things, can you?).
Tell them what the Con is about perhaps.
Yeah, I had lots of other pictures, which they chose to completely ignore and focus instead exclusively on the ones that involved people kissing. O_o
And I did try to tell them that the Con was focused around the
cosplay and not anything else, but I don't think they were too convinced. Along with the whole "But if things like that are happening, even if it's not the focus..." =_=;;
I could try that approach though, I suppose. Thanks for the help. (:
Usually when parents say no, that means...no. This is the unfortunate part. However there are ways to change peoples answer depending on how strong they feel about it, but you have to understand how your parents personality works. Therefore I cannot give any specific advice on getting your parents to approve of Fanime because I do not know your parents. Although you should know your own parents the best since you live with them I am assuming.
If you want to go very badly it is now time for you perform some problem solving...
You have to deeply analyze why your parents feel that you should not attend Fanime. Is it really because of the pictures they saw, or is there any other reasons why they would say no?
...And thats where you should start. I don't want you to manipulate your parents like I do mine. That would be really bad of me. ;)
Nothing you can do. If you knew your parents were traditional, I don't know even why you did what you did in the first place :\
Ask them, "If I see two people kissing outside, does that mean I can't go outside anymore?" ::)
Seriously though, like others said, it may not just be the kissing thing. It is probably that they weren't comfortable with you going in the first place and the kissing thing is just their excuse to keep you from going.
I think it would look shady to them that you took a picture of the smootching in question. Just from their perspective, if they're worried about you going in the first place then they are like "Well, crud. Our kid is obviously holding interests in this since they took the picture." Even though it might have just been because you liked the cosplays. I'd try to strike a deal with them maybe? My mom used to tell me if I do X thing then I can do Y.
Edit: Who is going with you? Is there any way you can have someone 'keep and eye' on you? I dunno how old you are, but yeah. Maybe that would help. And promises for regular calls.
I have to convince my parents to let me go. My dad says I can't go until I bring up my grade. I'm working really hard and it's STILL a C+ in Math. *studies for test*
IDEA! Tell them Fanime is really Family friendly because I keep getting told that by the ROVERS.
Quote from: BumbleB on April 17, 2009, 05:31:18 PM
I have to convince my parents to let me go. My dad says I can't go until I bring up my grade. I'm working really hard and it's STILL a C+ in Math. *studies for test*
IDEA! Tell them Fanime is really Family friendly because I keep getting told that by the ROVERS.
Work hard!!!!!! Get good grades!!!! Then you can have fun with your fellow otaku people. XD
Wow, the outlooks doesn't seem very good, does it? xD Thanks all the same for the replies, guys; it really helps to know you all care.
Anyways, I'm fairly sure they're okay with everything else except the kissing, because they gave the okay for me to go prior to seeing that. I just have to figure out how to convince them that it's okay, even with the kissing, especially since there usually isn't that much of it around anyways. o_o
Sure, it was probably stupid of me to take the pics in the first place; I just thought they were great cosplays and found the pose funny, especially since they were playing Sasuke and Naruto. X_x Didn't think much of possible aftereffects at the time.
I would promise them with good grades, but I already have straight As in all my classes right now and they think good grades are more of an obligation of mine, so no luck there. xD
I'll definitely try some other stuff you guys suggested though. Thanks for all the ideas!
Quote from: Bai-MeiEr on April 17, 2009, 06:53:48 PM
Wow, the outlooks doesn't seem very good, does it? xD Thanks all the same for the replies, guys; it really helps to know you all care.
Anyways, I'm fairly sure they're okay with everything else except the kissing, because they gave the okay for me to go prior to seeing that. I just have to figure out how to convince them that it's okay, even with the kissing, especially since there usually isn't that much of it around anyways. o_o
Sure, it was probably stupid of me to take the pics in the first place; I just thought they were great cosplays and found the pose funny, especially since they were playing Sasuke and Naruto. X_x Didn't think much of possible aftereffects at the time.
I would promise them with good grades, but I already have straight As in all my classes right now and they think good grades are more of an obligation of mine, so no luck there. xD
I'll definitely try some other stuff you guys suggested though. Thanks for all the ideas!
I'd also try to point out you're a good kid. You are keeping your grades up, you don't do stupid stuff, you're responsible, blah blah.
Quote from: Mango Bunny on April 17, 2009, 07:07:11 PM
Quote from: Bai-MeiEr on April 17, 2009, 06:53:48 PM
Wow, the outlooks doesn't seem very good, does it? xD Thanks all the same for the replies, guys; it really helps to know you all care.
Anyways, I'm fairly sure they're okay with everything else except the kissing, because they gave the okay for me to go prior to seeing that. I just have to figure out how to convince them that it's okay, even with the kissing, especially since there usually isn't that much of it around anyways. o_o
Sure, it was probably stupid of me to take the pics in the first place; I just thought they were great cosplays and found the pose funny, especially since they were playing Sasuke and Naruto. X_x Didn't think much of possible aftereffects at the time.
I would promise them with good grades, but I already have straight As in all my classes right now and they think good grades are more of an obligation of mine, so no luck there. xD
I'll definitely try some other stuff you guys suggested though. Thanks for all the ideas!
I'd also try to point out you're a good kid. You are keeping your grades up, you don't do stupid stuff, you're responsible, blah blah.
Except take yaoi pictures at a con and not telling the parents until they found out? xD
Haha, just kidding. Thanks; I'll definitely try that.
Quote from: Liquid on April 17, 2009, 04:57:19 PM
Ask them, "If I see two people kissing outside, does that mean I can't go outside anymore?" ::)
Seriously though, like others said, it may not just be the kissing thing. It is probably that they weren't comfortable with you going in the first place and the kissing thing is just their excuse to keep you from going.
You should totally take this guys advice... ... ...
If you don't want to go, and guarantee that you can't go.
How to convince them? Disregard everything everyone has said, because the point is nothing about Fanime at all.
Before I give you advice, I'll ask some stuff. How old are you, whom are you going with, are you staying there, and for how long?
Okay, to deal with this, think like a parent. It has nothing to do with the content of the convention, nor what the convention entails, but you, and what might happen to you. They are questioning your capabilities to take care of yourself, they are questioning your responsibility, and they are questioning your judgment.
To convince them to let you go, explain YOURSELF, don't talk about the convention. Tell them, that you are responsible enough to not get caught up in stuff like that. Show them you are capable of taking care of yourself, and the convention, much like the real world has good and bad things happening, and you have the judgment to make right decisions regardless of you being at school, walking around at the mall, or at this convention.
Quote from: PyronIkari on April 17, 2009, 08:38:03 PM
How to convince them? Disregard everything everyone has said, because the point is nothing about Fanime at all.
Before I give you advice, I'll ask some stuff. How old are you, whom are you going with, are you staying there, and for how long?
Okay, to deal with this, think like a parent. It has nothing to do with the content of the convention, nor what the convention entails, but you, and what might happen to you. They are questioning your capabilities to take care of yourself, they are questioning your responsibility, and they are questioning your judgment.
To convince them to let you go, explain YOURSELF, don't talk about the convention. Tell them, that you are responsible enough to not get caught up in stuff like that. Show them you are capable of taking care of yourself, and the convention, much like the real world has good and bad things happening, and you have the judgment to make right decisions regardless of you being at school, walking around at the mall, or at this convention.
Wow, thanks; you have some really great advice there.
As for the questions, I'm fourteen, I'm going with two of my friends and one of their dads, I'm commuting, and I'm only going for Saturday and Sunday. Hope that helps. :3
I'll definitely try that approach, and I think it will really help me a lot. Thanks, Pyron!
**** panels and events may change but according to insider info that ive seen... :P ****
just Fyi there are going to be 2 FREE panels in completely geared towards first time parents who have NO idea about anime and the whole japanese animations pop culture...
These panels [ both Saturday AND Sunday ] which are COMPLETELY FREE - as in NO BADGE Required are basically and introduction towards the genre to help them 'understand' and 'cope' with what all you 'kid otakus' are all fussing about.
more info will be as the panels schedule is finalized because ALOT could change in the coming weeks.
but i agree with Pyron's comments/concerns and basically show your parents its just a hobby/interest you have and show that you and your friends will be responsible and that you will be acting in a safe and 'sane' manner with your fellow fanboys/girls.
try to put urself in your parents shoes and be open to talking about the anime genre and how its just something u like do you. like um cultural and art appreciation :P
or something like that.
@ jerry THANK YOU!!! Thanks for posting this. I need to get my mom to see this. She always stares at me funny when I write names in my *Death Note*, or even put a new poster on my wall.
Show them really clean but fun youtube videos. And tell them that people bring their young kids there. And tell them that the kisses were strictly for photos.
Hmm...I personally WILL admit that when I go to these conventions, my parents have NO IDEA what they are letting me go to. My thoughts are: If they don't ask, they'll never know. However if it was me, I'd tell them that: If this is about the kissing, you might as well not let me go to school, stay home, and let me be a reculse because seriously, kissing can be found at least every 100 meters. School the same. Ask them why is it that they are STUCK on only the kissing picture. Well, I usually try to talk it out like this and then I try to back my point calmly. Usually my parents listen to me because I am calm and I don't get defensive. I don't know. Show them you're responsible and you KNOW better.
Quote from: BumbleB on April 18, 2009, 03:15:14 PM
@ jerry THANK YOU!!! Thanks for posting this. I need to get my mom to see this. She always stares at me funny when I write names in my *Death Note*, or even put a new poster on my wall.
Personally, I'd give you strange looks or stares is I saw you had made your own Death Note and were names down in it. Thats taking the fandom a bit far for me.
Quote from: Kyra_Maverick on April 18, 2009, 05:08:22 PM
Quote from: BumbleB on April 18, 2009, 03:15:14 PM
@ jerry THANK YOU!!! Thanks for posting this. I need to get my mom to see this. She always stares at me funny when I write names in my *Death Note*, or even put a new poster on my wall.
Personally, I'd give you strange looks or stares is I saw you had made your own Death Note and were names down in it. Thats taking the fandom a bit far for me.
I don't do the whole "dramatic" thing with my notebook. My mom just stares at it because it says "Death" on it.
Thanks to all again for the great advice! It's really helping me and my morale to have an idea of what I want to approach my mom with. She's out on a trip right now, but she's coming back around May 17th and I plan to ask her then, so that she isn't busy with her trip and all. Shaving it really close to Fanime time, I know. ><
Big thanks to Jerry for letting me know about the workshop panel thing; I'll definitely look into it.
Quote from: BumbleB on April 18, 2009, 03:15:14 PM
@ jerry THANK YOU!!! Thanks for posting this. I need to get my mom to see this. She always stares at me funny when I write names in my *Death Note*, or even put a new poster on my wall.
>> And example of parents being right about anime.
You realize even if it's "just a joke" the whole writing names in a fictitious death note is still considered threats and wishing death upon someone right? As stupid as you make think it is, this is actual grounds for suspension from school and actual counseling being needed.
You're basically stating to the world "I want x person to die". Not out of rage or anger, but stating it and meaning it. Which is completely different than just saying it out of rage, because this is evident and everlasting.
Quote from: PyronIkari on April 19, 2009, 11:09:38 AM
Quote from: BumbleB on April 18, 2009, 03:15:14 PM
@ jerry THANK YOU!!! Thanks for posting this. I need to get my mom to see this. She always stares at me funny when I write names in my *Death Note*, or even put a new poster on my wall.
>> And example of parents being right about anime.
You realize even if it's "just a joke" the whole writing names in a fictitious death note is still considered threats and wishing death upon someone right? As stupid as you make think it is, this is actual grounds for suspension from school and actual counseling being needed.
Some things are silly like that.
QuoteYou're basically stating to the world "I want x person to die". Not out of rage or anger, but stating it and meaning it. Which is completely different than just saying it out of rage, because this is evident and everlasting.
Unless you burn it >=D
Quote from: BumbleB on April 18, 2009, 05:27:06 PM
Quote from: Kyra_Maverick on April 18, 2009, 05:08:22 PM
Quote from: BumbleB on April 18, 2009, 03:15:14 PM
@ jerry THANK YOU!!! Thanks for posting this. I need to get my mom to see this. She always stares at me funny when I write names in my *Death Note*, or even put a new poster on my wall.
Personally, I'd give you strange looks or stares is I saw you had made your own Death Note and were names down in it. Thats taking the fandom a bit far for me.
I don't do the whole "dramatic" thing with my notebook. My mom just stares at it because it says "Death" on it.
What do you mean by "the whole dramatic thing"? If you're using it as a regular school note book that's one thing, but to actually write names down in it is completely different. If your mom knew what the Death Note was, I'm sure she'd give you more then just a few strange looks.
Just because you don't go into seizures of ecstasy when you write names and scenarios in it doesn't mean others won't find it dramatic.
Quote from: Kyra_Maverick on April 19, 2009, 01:51:53 PM
Quote from: BumbleB on April 18, 2009, 05:27:06 PM
Quote from: Kyra_Maverick on April 18, 2009, 05:08:22 PM
Quote from: BumbleB on April 18, 2009, 03:15:14 PM
@ jerry THANK YOU!!! Thanks for posting this. I need to get my mom to see this. She always stares at me funny when I write names in my *Death Note*, or even put a new poster on my wall.
Personally, I'd give you strange looks or stares is I saw you had made your own Death Note and were names down in it. Thats taking the fandom a bit far for me.
I don't do the whole "dramatic" thing with my notebook. My mom just stares at it because it says "Death" on it.
What do you mean by "the whole dramatic thing"? If you're using it as a regular school note book that's one thing, but to actually write names down in it is completely different. If your mom knew what the Death Note was, I'm sure she'd give you more then just a few strange looks.
Just because you don't go into seizures of ecstasy when you write names and scenarios in it doesn't mean others won't find it dramatic.
THE WHOLE STORY! When I cosplayed as Misa Amane, I had my Death Note w/ me and to be funny I wrote
Hannah Montana's name in it to be funny. OK? I don't write names on a regular basis. Most of the time I use it for a prop and write random things in it, like LightxMisa 4ever when I cosplay Misa.