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Everything Else => Things in the Universe => Topic started by: YoureMyHiro on November 04, 2005, 11:16:43 AM

Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: YoureMyHiro on November 04, 2005, 11:16:43 AM
The facts (http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty) about Chuck Norris.

Beard Power!
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: AbsolutelyCursed on November 04, 2005, 03:06:19 PM
That's some funny stuff
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: G.I.R on March 03, 2006, 11:48:11 PM
... I will never eat cake again...

(https://forums.fanime.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F10e.org%2Fsamcimg3%2Fcake.jpg&hash=1a0b11d5b578b7e8f71eae28f10ac8652be0fe02)

...after seeing this.
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: gmontem on March 03, 2006, 11:57:59 PM
Next Friday is Chuck Norris Day!!! (his birthday)  XD
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: Shinsengumi on March 04, 2006, 12:56:05 AM
that was funny  :lol:
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: gmontem on March 04, 2006, 01:00:34 AM
(https://forums.fanime.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg254.imageshack.us%2Fimg254%2F6172%2Fchuck4mn.jpg&hash=95e4f94f118ff0543afe52c6fa0a81b8008027e4)

Chuck Norris Karate Kommados (http://youtube.com/watch?v=1u8mdZA1LD8)?  wth lol
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: ~~Loktera~~ on March 04, 2006, 04:11:30 PM
Quote from: gmontemChuck Norris Karate Kommados (http://youtube.com/watch?v=1u8mdZA1LD8)?  wth lol

@_@

I just realized something...

I have a Chuck Norris Action figure. With Karate Kick Action...
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: gmontem on March 04, 2006, 04:25:29 PM
Quote from: ~~Loktera~~I have a Chuck Norris Action figure. With Karate Kick Action...
Now you must make us an animated GIF of that sweet action figure.
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: pockystix on March 04, 2006, 05:48:25 PM
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? .__.
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: gmontem on March 04, 2006, 07:11:13 PM
Quote from: pockystixHow much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? .__.
That would be impossible for it is written that
QuoteChuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

Edit: Man I felt dirty googling for Chuck Norris erection. I recall reading that joke but couldn't remember the exact wording. XD
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: Tsubasa on March 04, 2006, 07:20:34 PM
Quote from: gmontem
QuoteChuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

Edit: Man I felt dirty googling for Chuck Norris erection. I recall reading that joke but couldn't remember the exact wording. XD
It was actually Vin Diesel.  Although, I'm sure Chuck's erection is, at the least, comparable in its destructive potential.
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: joshness on March 05, 2006, 03:12:00 PM
Here's the Chuck Norris Fact Site.  Much better then having to refresh.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com

By the way, There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: Heartbreak_despair on March 10, 2006, 08:34:00 AM
all chuck norris is is jesus if jesus wanted to be chuck norris


http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/showdown#start
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: DemonLordZabuza on March 10, 2006, 03:17:30 PM
Today in my circuits lab, someone brought a cake and 66 candles in celebration of Chuck Noris 66th birthday...or was it 60 candles for his 60th birthday...one of the two
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: Heartbreak_despair on March 15, 2006, 08:46:58 AM
If Chuck Norris got into a fight w/ himself the world would explode due to the force that two Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks produce, because of this it would cause superman to fly around the world backwards in order to prevent the world from exploding.  Then Chuck Norris would see superman flying around and would deem it a challenge and roundhouse kick him into oblivion, only to mess up the space time continuum and he would see a second Chuck Norris right next to him...
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: G.I.R on June 20, 2007, 12:23:53 PM
(https://forums.fanime.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chadedge.com%2Fpersonal%2Fharbl%2F_full%2F8.jpg&hash=bc01874537aeb0933bb168f4c1b89b0a47ed5347)
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: Asa_Gohan on June 20, 2007, 01:59:27 PM
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: gmontem on June 20, 2007, 03:20:14 PM
Chuck Norris is the reason why my face looks the way it is... oh wait a minute. Doh!
Title: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: Errowyn on June 20, 2007, 06:06:27 PM
On Family Guy once they had this thing on Chuck Norris and Peter was saying "I heard Chuck Norris is so tough under his beard he doesn't have a chin, he just another fist."  For the gags for that you'd see this fist come out from his beard and punch someone.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: G.I.R on October 22, 2007, 11:02:31 PM
There are only two kinds of criminals in the world:  Those who have met Chuck Norris, and those who are still alive.

Will it Blend?  Chuck Norris. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA)
Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: zoupzuop2 on October 23, 2007, 03:53:46 PM
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: Ryumon Hozukimaru on October 25, 2007, 03:16:58 PM
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.

These are just a few.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: G.I.R on October 29, 2007, 11:45:35 PM
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

The "Chuck Norris Facts" dashboard widget for OS X (http://www.apple.com/downloads/dashboard/movie_tv/chucknorrisfacts.html)
Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: aznmagic2015 on November 09, 2007, 09:28:07 PM
Q: What's the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush?
A: Chuck Norris'...



Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: xxxplizit (pogi1kenobi) on November 10, 2007, 08:32:46 AM
o god.  More Chuck Norris stuff.

To add to what's already been linked:

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris/Facts
Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: Glitch on November 10, 2007, 11:08:13 PM
Chuck Norris never signs for "Act Of God" because god knows better than that.

Chuck Norris is always courteous enough to send death certificates to the families of those he's killed. Now you know why your mail takes so long.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: G.I.R on March 12, 2008, 12:32:12 PM
They once tried to market a line of Chuck Norris toilet paper but it had to be recalled because Chuck
Norris doesn't take shit from anyone.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: G.I.R on June 28, 2008, 01:05:52 PM
(https://forums.fanime.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg503.imageshack.us%2Fimg503%2F9787%2Fchucktvvu9.jpg&hash=69016aaa40111fd6b529fa0fb4ddf177dce6fef1)

Maybe he's happy about the coupons.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: satanic_mechanic on June 28, 2008, 04:57:42 PM
Chuck Norris tried to roundhouse kick Barack Obama, but he blocked it. With Hope. To this day, Chuck Norris has a Hope-shaped burn mark on his shin.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: astroboy on June 28, 2008, 09:47:54 PM
(https://forums.fanime.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi69.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fi65%2Fjoseverde28%2Fchuck-norris-300.jpg&hash=c9889c4bfcda5e681d9facec780ab41ca817ace4)
Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: G.I.R on June 29, 2008, 01:10:37 AM
Chuck Norris once wore an Alien Face Hugger as a sleep mask.  He found it to be comfortable, but stopped using it because the agonizing death screams of the Chest Burster trying to escape kept waking him up in the night.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: satanic_mechanic on June 29, 2008, 04:58:21 PM
Quote from: G.I.R on June 29, 2008, 01:10:37 AM
Chuck Norris once wore an Alien Face Hugger as a sleep mask.  He found it to be comfortable, but stopped using it because the agonizing death screams of the Chest Burster trying to escape kept waking him up in the night.


CHUCK PARADOX....

but GIR, Chuck Norris does not sleep - he waits.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris: Just the facts
Post by: G.I.R on August 11, 2008, 06:40:02 PM
(https://forums.fanime.com/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fivefourteen.net%2Fmotivational-posters%2Fgovernment.jpg&hash=63a2fe28263aab7966399193946e7b724239a088)
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