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Everything Else => Things in the Universe => Topic started by: G.I.R on May 26, 2009, 12:59:57 PM

Title: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on May 26, 2009, 12:59:57 PM
Since all of the T.V. show quote threads are gone, why not a general one?

This time, list the person or character that is being quoted, and the show the quote is from.
Also, it's not just limited to Dramas and sit-coms.  Feel free to put quotes fro talk shows, and game shows as well.



Homer:   Homerclease has no need of beans!

(from the Simpsons).





David Letterman:  So...      What were you thinking?

David Letterman to Hugh Grant.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: AbsolutelyCursed on May 26, 2009, 10:32:22 PM

David Letterman:  So...      What were you thinking?

David Letterman to Hugh Grant.

Actually I think that quote came from Jay Leno to Hugh Grant
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on May 27, 2009, 12:43:40 AM
Oops!  My bad...


Stewie:  Hey Lois!  How about less "Yakity Yak", and more cuttin' up my bannana!  What am I supposed to do?  Stick the whole thing in my mouth...
          ...Well Hello!
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 05, 2009, 12:58:54 AM
BooBoo:  But Yogi, Mr. Ranger isn't gonna like this.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 10, 2009, 12:12:15 AM
T.V. Anouncer:  And now we return to Harrison Ford randomly telling people he wants his family back.


Family Guy
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Dagger-6 on June 10, 2009, 01:01:55 AM
Thank you for your nice letter. But I am actually a US Marine, who was born to kill, whereas clearly you seem to have mistaken me for some sort of wine-sipping Communist. And although peace probably appeals to tree-hugging people like you, and your parents, I happen to be a death-dealing, blood-crazed warrior who wakes up every day just hoping for the chance to dismember my enemies and defile their civilizations.

Peace sucks, Freddy. War is the answer.
-Corporal Person, Generation Kill

Heavily censored, but you get the idea. =P
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: BrightHeart76 on June 10, 2009, 10:15:35 AM
Buffy The Vampire Slayers

Anya: You know, you can laugh, but I have witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression from the males of the species and I have nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.
Xander: Then why are you talking to me?
Anya: I don't have a date for the prom.
Xander: Well gosh. I wonder why not. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with your sales pitch?
Anya: Men are evil. Will you go with me?
Xander: One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on June 10, 2009, 10:32:51 AM
Dr. Cox: Look, Janice, Denise, Tiffany Amber Thiiiieeeessen! Lemme go ahead and share a little something special with you that I like to call Perry's Perspective. One: If someone's standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can't decide what they want in the half an hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them. Two: I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there'd only be one website left, and it'd be called "Bring back the porn!" Three and most importantly of all: The only way to be respected as a doctor - nay, respected as a man - is to be an island; you are born alone, you damn sure die alone.

 - Scrubs
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on June 10, 2009, 12:06:53 PM
Ted: We just don't like your naked girls.
Barney: What!? My girls aren't hot enough. I mean, yeah alright fine, the stripper at Stuart's bachelor party was a 15.
Ted: She was 15!!?
Barney: No. A 15. Like in blackjack.
Ted: [pauses to think] ...As in..not sure whether you'd hit it?
Barney: Exactly!
Ted: Nice.

- How I Met Your Mother
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 10, 2009, 06:15:25 PM
Cuddy: House, I've got a DCFS home visit on Friday.
House: ... and I've got a W-H-O-R-E visit on...



House
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Eliteslayer on June 10, 2009, 07:50:23 PM
Zoidberg: You lost the woman of your dreams, but you still have Zoidberg. YOU ALL STILL HAVE ZOIDBERG!

Futurama
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Rette on June 10, 2009, 09:28:49 PM
Farscape:

Crais:
Have you any idea how much trouble you're in?
Assault on a police officer,
Theft of police property,
Illegal possesion of a firearm,
Five counts of attempted murder,
That comes to:
$29.40
Cash, check, or credit card?

Babylon 5:

Vir: You know what I'd like? I'd like to live just long enough to see the day they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I'd look up at your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. *waves*


Sheridan: You know, I really hate it when you do that.
Kosh: Good.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: BrightHeart76 on June 10, 2009, 10:30:57 PM
If we're going Sci-Fi.... (shamelessly ripped from the internet)


The Borg: Freedom is irrelevant. Resistance is futile.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Borg: Strength is irrelevant. Resistance is futile. We wish to improve ourselves. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service ours.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Borg: Freedom is irrelevant. Self-determination is irrelevant. You must comply.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Borg: Death is irrelevant. Your archaic cultures are authority-driven. To facilitate our introduction into your societies, it has been decided that a human voice will speak for us in all communications. You have been chosen to be that voice.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Locutus: If you attempt to intervene, we will destroy you.
Commander Riker: Take your best shot, Locutus, we are about to intervene.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 10, 2009, 10:42:59 PM
Holly:  "Emergency. Emergency. There's an emergency going on. It's still going on. It's still an emergency. This is an emergency announcement."

Red Dwarf.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Runewitt on June 10, 2009, 11:07:39 PM
Lister: The red, green and blue alert signs are all flashing. What the smeg does that mean?
Kryten: Well either we're under attack sir, or we're having a disco.

Red Dwarf
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 11, 2009, 02:14:20 AM
(Lister talking to Kryten about Rimmer)

Lister:  If you want, you can call him "Molecule mind", "Dinosaur Breath", "Smeg for brains", and if your feeling mega, mega, mega polite, you can call him "asshole"


Red Dwarf.


And I know someone else posted this in the lost Futureama quote thread, but it needs repeating:

Farnsworth:  Sweet Zombi Jesus!
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 13, 2009, 12:44:24 PM
Kryten:  "We could go to Dallas in November, 1963, stand on the grassy knoll and shout "Duck!"                ... I'm sorry.
I must have bypassed my Good Taste Chip."

Red Dwarf.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Runewitt on June 13, 2009, 09:42:34 PM
Kryten: My nipples don't work.


Red Dwarf
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 15, 2009, 01:39:28 PM
Hank and Dean:  Go Team Venture!


The Venture Brothers.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on June 15, 2009, 02:34:12 PM
Red Dwarf sounds kinda funny. I must look into watching this show.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 15, 2009, 02:40:36 PM
Al:  Ah, Home is where the Hell is...

Ed O'neil:  Married with Children.

     ----------------------------------


Quagmire:  I had the crabs once.  I had to use that medicine that came with a comb.
                ... I kept the comb thou.

Family Guy.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: BrightHeart76 on June 15, 2009, 10:39:10 PM
Dr. House: Your wife is having an affair.

Orange-Colored Patient: What??

Dr. House: You’re ORANGE, you moron! It’s one thing for you not to notice, but if your wife hasn’t picked up on the fact that her husband has changed colors, she’s just not paying attention. Oh, by the way, do you consume just ridiculous amounts of carrots and mega-dose vitamins? The carrots turn you yellow, the niacin turns you red. Get a set of fingerpaints and do the math… and get a good lawyer.

House

I tried finding a quote from the episode of Scrubs when they do the same case...but couldn't find one for the case...so here's a random quote from the episode anyway.

Dr. Cox: Look, I know you all curl up on your futons at night dreaming of cracking a real-life medical mystery so that some doctor/supermodel will want to touch your eruption button, but here's the bad news: This isn't a TV show. There aren't any cameras over here (motions toward the camera), real medical mysteries don't happen every week, and doctors damn sure don't look like models, they look like Rex.

Rex: What?

Dr. Cox: Chin up, you ugly bastard

Scrubs

Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Eliteslayer on June 15, 2009, 10:51:19 PM
Robot Devil: That was pretty brutal, even by my standards.
Bender: No backsies!

Futurama, "The Beast With a Billion Backs," right after Bender traded his firstborn son to the Robot Devil for an army of the damned.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 16, 2009, 12:51:17 PM
Rimmer:  Our first contact intelligent life in three million and two years, and it's the android version of Norman Bates. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psidz_-s00c&feature=channel)

Red Dwarf.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: macaulayman on June 19, 2009, 12:36:26 PM
Q; Nothing bizzare, nothing grotesque...
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: DentyneIce408 on June 19, 2009, 01:09:10 PM
Jeff: Where do you work at?
Walter: Walmart.
Jeff: What do you there?
Walter: I greet people.
Jeff: How?
Walter: *clears throat* Welcome to Walmart. Get your sh!t and get out.

Jeff Dunham: Arguing with himself.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 19, 2009, 01:10:18 PM
Mr. Praline :  It's not pinin', it's passed on.  This parrot is no more.  It has ceased to be!
                   It's expired and gone to meet its maker.
                   This is a late parrot.   It's a stiff!  Bereft of life, it rests in peace!  If you hadn't nailed him to the perch,
                   He'd be "Pushing up the Daisies"!

Shopkeeper:  Well, I'd better replace it then.

Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 20, 2009, 01:35:14 PM
Homer:  Gasp!  That man is my exact double!   That dog has a puffy tail!  Heh heh heh!  Come here Puffy Tail!



The Simpsons.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 22, 2009, 09:10:19 PM
Dr. Kutner:  ... It's not like we can cut off the patients head.
Dr. House:   Why not?
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Runewitt on June 22, 2009, 09:30:10 PM
Fry: Have you seen Bender? Also, smell this milk.


Benders Game
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: BrightHeart76 on June 23, 2009, 12:07:42 AM
Jill: My joints have been feeling all loose, and lately I've been feeling sick a lot. Maybe I'm overtraining; I'm doin' the marathon, like, ten miles a day,but I can't seem to lose any weight.

House: Lift up your arms

House: You have a parasite

Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?

House: Lie back and lift up your sweater.
[she lies back, and still has her hands up]

House: You can put your arms down.

Jill: Can you do anything about it?

House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
[he starts to ultrasound her abdomen]

Jill: Illegal?

House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...

Jill: Playdates?

House: [shows her the ultrasound] It has your eyes.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 23, 2009, 01:08:53 PM
Elliot:     Oh, Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, Barbie, no  ... it makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively to clowns.
Elliot:     I'm sorry, that was my mistake.  I keep forgetting that you're a horrible, horrible person.
Dr. Cox: Ooh! Backbone Barbie!
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Evangelion Xgouki on June 23, 2009, 01:31:11 PM
There are FOUR lights!

Cpt. Jean-Luc Picard

Star Trek: The Next Generation
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Runewitt on June 23, 2009, 08:27:42 PM
Peter: Y'know what else really grinds my gears? When I can't find the 'Droids im looking for.

Storm trooper: y'know, me too.


Family guy
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: BrightHeart76 on June 23, 2009, 09:29:55 PM
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!

Ed McMahon (may he rest in peace)
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 24, 2009, 12:47:26 AM
Alf:  Ha!  I kill me!
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on June 24, 2009, 09:51:44 AM
"Beer the cause of and solution to all of life's little problems."

- Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 25, 2009, 12:48:06 AM
Homer:  I felt so left out.
Marge:   Kids can be cruel Homer.
Bart:     They Can?!?  Thanks Mom!
Lisa:      (Off Camera)  OW!  Cut it out Bart!

The Simpsons.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on June 25, 2009, 06:02:33 PM
And I will love you and squeeze you and call you George

- From a Bugs Bunny cartoon


"Trying is the first step towards failure."

- Homer Simpson


You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is, 'never try'.

- Homer Simpson


"Beer. Now there's a temporary solution."

- Homer Simpson


"Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button."

- Homer Simpson


Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel.

- Homer Simpson


"Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!"

- Homer Simpson


DOUGH the stuff you buy for beer
RAY the guy who buys me beer
ME the guy who drinks the beer
FAR the distance to my beer
LA la la beer
TEA, no thanks im drinking beer
SO that will bring us back to
(looks into empty glass)

- Homer Simpson


"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed."

- Homer Simpson


"I want answers now or I want them eventually!"

- Homer Simpson


Run like Mexican water through a first-time tourist.

- Al Bundy


Love is not only blind but stupid.

- Al Bundy


That's what being a man is like: making mistakes and not caring.

- Al Bundy


I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

- Chandler (Friends)


Spongebob: What do you usually do when I’m gone?
Patrick: Wait for you to come back.

-Spone Bob Square Pants


Joey: Wow,I never knew a woman's handbag would look good on me, a man!
Rachel: Exactly, unisex!
Joey: No, you need sex, I had sex a couple of days ago.
Rachel: No, Joey. U-N-I Sex.
Joey: Well, how can you say no to that?

- Friends


"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

- Drew Carey
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: BrightHeart76 on June 27, 2009, 12:30:20 AM
Dale: BILL!! Bill, you have to be the stupidest man on the planet to think this is a good idea! Have you seen what you're wearing?! That outfit makes you look like a sequined trainwreck! LOOK AT YOU! You're part of a twelve-headed jackass! This choir is the feces that is produced when shame eats too much stupidity! You people make me envy the deaf and the BLIND!! UNDERWEAR!! MONEY! FAT!! (passes out)

King of the Hill
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 27, 2009, 01:31:09 AM
Eek:   Sure!  It never hurts to help!


Eek The Cat.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 28, 2009, 09:27:41 AM
Francis: Okay, I'm going to show you guys the coolest thing you have even seen.
           Get me some lighter fluid, a waffle iron, and one of Dewey's stuffed animals.             
           The furrier the better.



Malcolm in the Middle.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on June 29, 2009, 12:06:42 PM
When you're a little kid, you're a little bit of everything. Artist, scientist, athlete, scholar... Sometimes it seems like growing up is the process of giving those things up. One by one. I guess we all have one thing we regret giving up. One thing we really miss. That we gave up because we were too lazy or, we couldn't stick it out or, because we were afraid.

- The Wonder Years



You know "I told you so" has a brother, his name is Shut The Hell Up!

- Mr. Burns (Simpsons)



'I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman

- homer simpson



You know, a moo point. It's like a cow's opinion; it doesn't matter.

- Joey on Friends



Joey- You wanna help?
Phoebe-I wish i could but i really dont want to

- Friends (1994)
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 29, 2009, 10:10:27 PM
Mr. Horse:  No sir!   I don't like it!


The Ren and Stimpy Show.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on June 30, 2009, 10:45:05 AM
My son is not a communist...he may be stupid and he may be a communist but he is NOT a pornstar!

- Grandpa Simpson (to Homer Simpson) in the Simpsons



When life gives you lemons..SHUT UP and eat your d*** lemons!

- House MD



TAG: Phoebe. That's a nice name.
PHOEBE: You think that's nice, you should hear my phone number.

- Friends!!!



Everyone's family is embarrassing. And if they're not embarrassing then they're dead.

- Kitty, 'That 70's Show'



Elliot: My life is a mess!
J.D.: At least you're pretty.
Elliot: Yeah, well, pretty don't pay the rent!
Carla: It does for my sister.
Elliot: Oh, my God, your sister's a prostitute?
Carla: She's a model. Come on, Elliot, we talked about thinking before we speak.

- Scrubs



The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a beer bottle,
they're on TV.

- Homer Simpson



This plan is so complicated I can't even begin to know what i'm talking about.

- Peter Griffin (Family Guy)



Monica: "well, that's the last box of your clothes. I think I label it 'What were you thinking?'"
Rachael: "Funny, I was just about to go across the hall and write that on Chandler(monica's boyfriend)"

- FRIENDS!



Dr. Kelso: I got you a present for your trip to Mexico. It's my old Spanish to English dictionary. I don't need it anymore, I've mastered the language.
Dr. Clock: Gracias, Señor.
Dr. Kelso: You're welcomo.

- Scrubs



Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers!

- Homer Simpson



"Daddy loves you, Honey. But Daddy also loves Star Trek, and by all means, Star Trek was here first."

- Peter Griffin - Family Guy
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on June 30, 2009, 03:16:06 PM
Lois:     Peter, I don't think keeping a horse in the house is a good idea.
Peter    Shut up Lois!     You don't know nuthin'
                                                                 ... about anything!
           You'll see, this horse will be a fine addition to our family.

(the horse urinates)

Peter:   You know what, I don't want him to feel self-conscious, everybody pee.
Lois:     Peter, we--
Peter:   Everybody pee, now!
Stewie: We're an unusual family.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: DentyneIce408 on July 02, 2009, 05:06:29 PM
Jeff: So what are you Ackmed?

Ackmed: A terrorist.

Jeff: What kind of terrorist?

Ackmed: A terrifying terrorist. Are you scared?

Jeff: No.

Ackmed: AGH! You scared now?

Jeff: Nope.

Ackmed: RAWR! How about now?

Jeff: Not really...

Ackmed: God damn it... No, I mean Ala damn it.

Ackmed: Silence! I kill you!

Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Runewitt on July 02, 2009, 08:52:50 PM
Walter: ahem.. Welcome to Walmart. Get your $$$$ and get out!

Jeff Dunham: argueing with myself
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on July 03, 2009, 11:50:23 AM
Jose: Jose Jalepeño.....on a steeck!

- Jeff Dunham
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: BrightHeart76 on July 03, 2009, 11:54:38 PM
"Good God!  Who's manning the Internet?"  Stan Smith when entering a Sci-Fi Convention

American Dad
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on July 05, 2009, 07:53:45 PM
Stan watching football:

Stan:       No!  No!  NO!   Do you want to be a loser for life?
Francine:  Hmm?  What?  Were you talking to me?
Stan:       No, I was talking to football.  You meet or exceed my expectations.


American Dad.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on July 23, 2009, 07:39:38 PM
Hank:   How is cutting down on pollution a government plot, Dale?
Dale:    Open up your eyes, man. They're trying to control global warming. Get it? "Global?"
Hank:   So what?
Dale:    That's code for U.N. commissars telling Americans what the temperature's going to be in our outdoors.
            I say let the world warm up, let's see what Boutros Boutros Ghali Ghali has to say about that.
            We'll grow oranges in Alaska!
Hank:   Dale, you giblet-head, we live in Texas! It's already 110 in the summer,
           and if it gets one degree hotter, I'm going to kick your ass!



King of the Hill.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: BrightHeart76 on July 23, 2009, 11:49:16 PM
Dr. House: Sorry, up late. Internet porn.
Dr. Chase: How come you’re not in your office?
Dr. House: Because there is a computer in my office. If I log on, romance will ensue. My wrist might fall off.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Runewitt on July 26, 2009, 02:08:38 AM
Jim: Well, i like to play chess.... and screw.

Bart: Okay, lets play chess.


Blazing Saddles
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: rude32 on July 26, 2009, 11:47:35 AM
Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah

Family Guy
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on July 27, 2009, 06:24:21 PM
Brian:  (applauding)  Bravo Peter, you're the Spalding Grey of crap.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Runewitt on July 27, 2009, 09:32:15 PM
Stewie: ITS WHERE I KEEP MY MENTOS!
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on July 29, 2009, 01:06:05 AM
Killface:  No!  You cannot "has cheeseburger"!


Frisky Dingo
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on July 30, 2009, 01:16:26 PM
Barney:   This is going to be "Legend-...                 ... wait for it...            ...ary"!

Neil Patrick Harris:  How I Met Your Mother.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on July 30, 2009, 01:32:47 PM
Barney: Ted, get your coat, we're leaving.
Ted: What happened to that, uh, cutlet you were grinding with?
Barney: That was my cousin Leslie!
Ted: What!? [Ted begins to laugh]
Barney: No, No, No. We are not laughing about this Ted. This is not gonna be some funny story that we're gonna be telling in a couple of months. It's not gonna be like 'remember that time when you were grinding with'-No. And do you know why; because italics, [Barney holds his hand up and then slants them to an angle] this night did not happen.


Robin: [She and Lily come out in fancy dresses] All right, what do you think?
Barney: [Looks up] Horrible.
Lily: You're gonna make such a great dad.
Barney: You look so classy and nice, you're gonna stick out like a sore thumb. Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days, with the Ashlee and the Lindsay and the Paris? They all dress like strippers. It's, "Go ho or go home." So ladies... slut up!


-How I Met Your Mother.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Lucifargundam on July 31, 2009, 11:47:04 AM
"I'm so happy, it must be my birthday!"
"Smells like someone made a fluffy..."
"Soosha...soosha...sooooosha..."
-Space Ghost Coast to Coast

"Uh-oh, HOT DOG!"
-Mad TV
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on August 02, 2009, 03:13:42 PM
Capt. Jack:   ... and before we go any further, who the Hell orders pizza under the name "Torchwood"?

Torchwood.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Runewitt on August 09, 2009, 01:10:38 AM
Kisuke: You're wondering if i'm still alive? is that what you're wondering? well to be honest i'm not really sure myself.


Bleach
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on August 11, 2009, 08:37:51 AM
Brother Cavil:  Frak!


Dean Stockwell: Battlestar Galactica
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on August 17, 2009, 11:55:39 PM
Herbert:  Boys!  Boys! We can settle this like reasonable and sexy teenagers.  Whoever can swallow the most Tylenol PM wins!


Family Guy.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: michiko nakano on August 18, 2009, 11:50:07 AM
Joey: Hey Ross, I got a science question. If the homosapiens, were in fact, "homosapiens"... is that why they're extinct?
Ross: Joey, homosapiens are people.
Joey: Hey hey, I'm not judging.

-Friends
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on August 24, 2009, 08:18:53 PM
Peter: Yeah, Brian. You're doing the same thing that Mia Farrow did to that oriental guy that Woody Allen brought home from the circus.
Lois:   Peter, hold on to that thought because I'm gonna explain to you when we get home all the things that are wrong with that statement.


Family Guy.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on August 25, 2009, 04:34:26 PM
Barney: So what do you think of Robin?
Ted: I really need to work.
Barney: Say you and I went suit shopping, and you happened upon a suit. A beautiful Canadian suit. Double-breasted. Mmmmmm. You try it on, and it's not exactly the right fit for you, so you put it back. I try it on, and I don't really wanna take the same suit you had your eye on, but at the same time, I really like that suit.
Ted: Buy the suit, Barney. You clearly care about it. Tell the suit how you feel. [pats him on the shoulder]
Barney: Okay! But Ted, remember that that was your answer, because... [long pause] the suit is Robin. I know! [head exploding pantomime] Right?
Ted: I'm with you, Barney.
Barney: I know you are. Because I explained it to you. [embraces him]

- How I Met Your Mother


Barney: Jesus waited THREE days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited ONE day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard he died. They'd be all, "Hey Jesus, what up?" and Jesus would probably be like, "What up? I DIED yesterday!" and they'd be all, "Uhh, you look pretty alive to me, dude..." and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and the dude'd be like "Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro..." And he's not gonna come back on a SATURDAY. Everybody's busy, doing chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' the beard, NO. He waited the perfect number of days, THREE. Plus it's SUNDAY, so everyone's in church already, and they're all in there like "Oh no, Jesus is DEAD", and then BAM! He bursts in the back door, runnin' up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched, and FYI, that's when he invented the high five. That's why we wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.... True story.

- How I Met Your Mother
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on August 27, 2009, 12:48:06 AM
Eric:      We really need a tap here!
Michael: I've got a Swiss Army Knife...
Steven:  Great!  We can Whittle the beer out of the keg.


That Seventies Show.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on August 31, 2009, 03:50:00 PM
Lily: Hey.
Robin: Hey.
Lily: Marshall just ditched out on our own party. Could you get me in there? I kinda need to kill him.
Robin: Actually I can't even get myself in. I was such a dork. I get recognized one time and I start thinking I'm Julia Roberts. I'm no VIP, I'm not even an IP; I'm just a lonely little P sitting out here in the gutter.
Lily: You know something, I'd take a P in the gutter over Julia Roberts any day.

- How I Met Your Mother



Victoria: Why don't we just... dance. And have a great time. And when it's over, never see each other again.
Ted: Unless--
Victoria: No. No unless. No e-mails, no phone numbers, not even names. Tonight, we'll make a memory that will never be tarnished. Then, when we're old and gray, we'll look back on this moment... and it'll be perfect.
Ted: Wow... Okay I'm in.
Victoria: [enthusiastically] Okay!
Ted: I guess, uh, what, we'll need fake names?
Victoria: Um... you can call me Buttercup. [Ted and "Buttercup" shake hands]
Ted: Pleased to meet you, Buttercup. I'm... Lando Calrissian. [Victoria laughs] Wow, this is kind of exciting. Our names will forever be shrouded in--
Barney: [with bridesmaid on his arm] Hey Ted, Ted, Ted, look! I got a bridesmaid! Ted Ted look, Ted! The second hottest bridesmaid! Ted, look! See you Ted.
Ted: [to Victoria] So I'm Ted.
Victoria: Victoria.

- How I Met Your Mother
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on August 31, 2009, 08:32:26 PM
Jay Sherman:  It Stinks!



The Critic.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: JohnnyAR on August 31, 2009, 08:49:32 PM
"Holy crap!"

Everyone Love Raymond
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on August 31, 2009, 10:28:45 PM
Mike Wallace:  I'm Mike Wallace...
Morly Safer:    I'm Morley Safer...
Ed Bradley:     ... and I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on 60 Minutes.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on September 01, 2009, 09:57:04 AM
Jon Stewart: NAMBLA!

- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: DentyneIce408 on September 03, 2009, 01:21:51 AM
Jackie on Laurie: Innocent? Okay Eric, no offence, but your sister is as slutty as they come. 
Kelso: Eric, are you gonna let her say that about your sister? 
Eric: Sure.
-------------------------------------
Kelso: You know, Hyde, seeing you work hard and take pride in what you do... I lost a lot of respect for you, man. 
Fez: You used to be my hero. My lazy American hero.
-------------------------------------
Kelso: Guys, guess who's taking Pam Macey to the prom? 
Hyde: Anyone with a quarter? 
Kelso: NO, ME! 
Fez: Darn, and I had a quarter, too.
-------------------------------------
Kitty: I don't know if we have enough ice, Eric took a whole tubful. 
Red: He took a tub of ice? 
Kitty: Oh, the kids are making a volcano! 
Midge: Right, that's why Donna left with all the plastic cups. 
Red: Plastic cups? 
Midge: Sure, plastic volcano cups. 
Bob: If I didn't know better, I'd say they were having a kegger!...[looks at Red]...Oh Jeez!

That 70's Show
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on September 03, 2009, 06:24:40 PM
Cleveland:  I gotta stop taking my baths during Peter's shenanigans.


Bob Barker: Alright now, let's start the bidding. Jennifer? How much do you bid on the dinette set?
Jennifer:      Uh...$675 Bob.
Bob Barker: $675. Steven?
Steven:       $780.
Bob Barker: $780. Tammy?
Tammy:      $781.
Steven:       (to Tammy) F*** you!


Family Guy.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on September 06, 2009, 12:59:40 PM
Kitty Foreman: Eric, how many times have I told you, don't poke the bear...            Don't poke the bear!


That Seventies Show.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on September 09, 2009, 03:09:19 PM
Marshall: If I could nail a celebrity it would be Lily. She's the star of my heart.
Lily: Aww. For me it would be Hugh Jackman.

- How I Met Your Mother



Ted: Chinese?
Barney: I don't like Chinese.
Ted: Indian?
Barney: I just said I don't like Chinese.
Ted: Indian isn't Chinese.
Barney: Weird meat, funny music, side of rice. Why are we splitting hairs?
Ted: Mexican?
Barney: I just said I don't like Chinese!

- How I Met Your Mother



Barney: [in old man make-up] You there, what's your name?
Woman: Cindy.
Barney: Cindy. I knew it! You're the Cindy, the one that can change everything...or spell our inevitable doom. Now listen to me, Cindy. I am Barney Stinson. And I am on an urgent mission from the future.
Woman: The future?
Barney: The future! And I can prove it! In exactly four seconds, the woman at that booth is going to slap that man.
[Robin slaps Ted, Woman is amazed]
Barney: In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door. Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane...but in order to save the planet, you need to sleep with him. Tonight.
Woman: What?
Barney: Sleep with Barney Stinson, tonight, in whatever way he wants it...or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming that saves the human race!
Woman: What are you talking about?
Barney: I have no time to explain. I have to get back to the reality accelerator before the vortex closes. Only you can save us, Cindy. I must away!
[Barney returns a few minutes later, looking like himself]
Woman: Oh my god! You're-oh my god! Can I buy you a drink?
Barney: Well, I guess I have time for one drink, and forty-five minutes to an hour of some other activity. But after that I have to get back to, uh, a secret research project I'm working on.
Woman: Global warming?
Barney: My god. How did you know that?

- How I Met Your Mother
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on September 10, 2009, 12:16:35 PM
(Refering to a car in front of a witnesses house)


Horatio Caine:      Mm-hmm. Town car, tinted windows. Take a guess.
Detective Hagen:  Fan-belt inspectors?
Horatio Caine:      Nope. U.S. Marshals. Witness protection baby-sitters.


C.S.I. Miami




Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on September 17, 2009, 12:46:55 AM
Hank:    C'mon Peggy, your still the smartest person in Arlen...
Peggy:   Well Whoopty-do!  I'm the smartest Hillbilly from Hillbilly Town!


King of the Hill
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on September 21, 2009, 09:53:25 PM
 Peter: You know, Mike Tyson once beat up his wife.  But there's nothing funny about that.

                                                    ... hehehehehHEHEHEheheh!



Family guy.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on September 22, 2009, 12:43:36 PM
Robin: What's my "but"? You know, I'm really nice, but...
Ted [voiceover]: But she's afraid of commitment.
Lily [voiceover]: But she's a gun nut.
Barney [voiceover]: But she's... Canadian.
Marshall [voiceover]: But she doesn't like Field of Dreams.
All: I can't think of anything.

-How I Met Your Mother


Marshall: Ted, how many times have I told you to put the lid back on the peanut butter jar?! It's this inconsiderate, immature jackassry that makes me feel like I'm living in The Real World House! And not the early days when they all had jobs and social consciences, I'm talking about Hawaii, and after! I can't take it anymore! Ted, Lily and I are married now! It's time! We're getting our own place!
Lily:... Actually, I left the lid off, sorry, baby.

-How I Met Your Mother
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on September 26, 2009, 01:05:26 AM
Cat:    Hey, this is mine, That's mine. All this is mine!  I'm claiming all this as mine! Except that bit, I don't want that bit.
          But all the rest of this is mine! Hey, this has been a really good day! I've eaten five times, I've slept six times, and I've made a lot of things mine!
          Tomorrow, I'm gonna see if I can't have sex with something!


Red Dwarf
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on October 01, 2009, 01:34:31 PM
Lily: We should come up with a whole new last name.
Marshall: Oh, that's easy; Lily and Marshall Skywalker.
Lily: Lily and Marshall Hasselhoff.
Marshall: Oh, got it. Lily and Marshall Awesome. Hey have you met the Awesomes? Lily, Marshall their son Totally and their daughter Freaking?

- How I Met Your Mother
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Runewitt on October 05, 2009, 02:02:36 AM
Fry: Why am i sticky and naked? did i miss something fun?

Futurama
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on October 05, 2009, 11:58:03 AM
[During Ted's blind date with Jen, they talk about menu choices]
Jen: So, any thoughts on food?
Ted: Yeah. You want to share the oysters?
Jen: I'd love to share the oysters.
Ted: Good, 'cause if you wouldn't that would be...mighty shellfish.
Jen: [shallow-faced] Wow, that's bad.
Ted: That's why it's funny.

- How I Met Your Mother
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on October 05, 2009, 03:02:47 PM


Detective Stabler:   (over a store P.A.)  Attention all store employees, would The Master Baiter please come up to the front of the store.

(Emploees thruout the store  have disturbed looks on their faces)

Detective Benson:  Not "A Masturbator", "The Master Baiter"



Christopher Meloni / Mariska Haggerty:  Law and Order SVU.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Haruka on October 17, 2009, 10:30:37 PM
"Attention restaurant customers; testicles.  That is all."
-Peter, Family Guy

"This isn't chocolate.  It's carob.  Your dog's gonna be fine.  But your Mom's a dirty hippie."
-Mutt, Robot Chicken

"Geez Kyle, why don't you go sit under a rainbow and write a poem?"
-Cartman, South Park

"F--k the Commies and their pussy-ass space station."
-newscaster, South Park

"I'm selling my used panties online."
-Sailor Moon, Robot Chicken

"And that's why I had to kill Daddy.  He was trying to give a mouse a cookie."
-Robot Chicken

Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on October 19, 2009, 12:40:20 AM
Ironhide: Wow, Prime sure has to urinate a lot.
Prowl: Yea! He must be French, cuz he's-a-peein'! Ha ha ha!
Ironhide: Uhh, I think that's "*You're* a-peein'"
Prowl: He he he... but... I'm not.
Ironhide: Ugh, such a Retardicon.


Robot Chicken
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on October 19, 2009, 02:38:54 PM
Falcon Heene:  You guys said...  uh we did this for the show.


CNN NEWS
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on October 19, 2009, 04:50:39 PM
Tracy: Dress every day like you're going to get murdered in those clothes.
- 30 Rock

Tracy: I'm whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know that in the morning, they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good.
- 30 Rock

Kenneth: Oh no Sir, I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name.
Jack: That's Republican. We count those.
- 30 Rock

Kenneth: Mr. Jordan, Ms. Maroney. You wanted to see me?
Jenna: Kenneth, Tracy and I want to do something for the crew, you know, to thank them for being sick.
Tracy: We didn't know what to get them, but then I had a brain storm. It was a bad one, Jenna had to put my tongue guard in.
Jenna: But after he stabilized we decided we'd get them all hot soup.
Tracy: So... go do that.
Kenneth: Oh, all the other pages have gone home sick, I can't make any runs right now. Maybe the two of you could go get the soup.
[long pause]
Jenna: I don't understand.
Kenneth: Well, I'm saying you could get your wallet...
Tracy: My what?!
Kenneth: ...and go downstairs to the basement...
Tracy: No!
Kenneth: ...and you go to the soup place, and bring the soup back up here...
Tracy: With what? My arms?
Kenneth: ...make sure to take your IDs with you.
Tracy: That'll be the worst part!
- 30 Rock

Improv Announcer: And the audience suggestion is "Sling Blade and Oprah on a date."
Liz: Mmm, I sure do like dem french fried potaters.
Jenna: No you don't, Oprah.
- 30 Rock
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on November 03, 2009, 11:08:35 AM
Boomhauer:   Yep.
Bill:              Yep.
Dale              Yep,                                          ... or should I say "yaddayaddayadda"?  Ha!


King of the Hill
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on November 30, 2009, 12:58:55 PM
Mr.Smarty Smarts:  This Island is drowning in stupidity!  And you cerebrial slobs are the worst offenders!
Perri:                     What's a  "Cerebral Slob" (http://www.zippcast.com/video/e7232164767ccfa7920)
Entré:                    It's like penut butter.
Mr.Smarty Smarts:  "PEANUT BUTTER!?!"  IT's not like "Peanut Butter" at all!  The Age of Fools is over!

Spliced
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on December 10, 2009, 01:01:14 PM
Dr. Rockzo:  I'm Dr. Rockzo!  The Rock 'n Roll Clown!  I do Cocaine! Heheheheheh!

Metalocalypse
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Liquid on January 20, 2010, 12:43:44 PM
"Hey, you want to know what line doesn't work on a harp player? 'Hey baby, wanna pluck?' " - Barney Stinson

- How I Met Your Mother
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Jerry on January 20, 2010, 01:48:50 PM
Dr. Cox: [explaining he doesn't care it's JD's last week of residency] I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week. Let's see... low carb diets, Michael Moore, the Republican National Convention, Kabbalah & all Kabbalah-related products, Hi-Def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hotspots, the OC, the UN, recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys, Jeff that Wiggle that sleeps too darn much, the Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show, everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everythingj every-everything that exists past present & future, in discovered and undiscovered dimensions!
[turns away, then turns back]

Dr. Cox: Oh, and Hugh Jackman.

J.D.: Hugh Jackman is Wolverine! How dare he!

- Scrubs
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on January 23, 2010, 12:51:22 AM
Peggy:  Okay, who's ready for coffee maker ramen?

King of the Hill
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: SukebeStudios on January 23, 2010, 04:57:50 AM
"Conan, it's yours! See you in five years, buddy!"

-Jay Leno "The Tonight Show" (Naming Conan OBrien the next HOST)
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on April 11, 2010, 11:24:41 PM
Triumph:  That is a nice (insert noun here)...                                       ...For me to POOP on!
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on May 24, 2010, 05:59:18 PM
Homer:   All work and no play make homer something something...
Marge:    Go Crazy?
Homer:   Don't mind if I do!.  Eyaaaaaahbvlblblblbluh!

The Simpsons.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on January 19, 2011, 12:30:24 PM
Daniel Graystone:  Sweetheart!  I was Negotiating!


Eric Stoltz:  Caprica






(... and Gods damn Syfy for canceling this show)


 
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Runewitt on January 23, 2011, 07:50:57 PM
Stoke me a kipper, I'll be back for Christmas.

- Ace Rimmer, Red Dwarf
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on March 14, 2014, 12:47:27 AM
  The Doctor:  How do you fly this thing?!?

Peter Capaldi:  Doctor Who - The Time of the Doctor 
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Lucifargundam on March 15, 2014, 06:29:39 AM
This is your left, that is your left;
this is your right, you're gunna die!
(Aqua Teen Hungar Force)
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on March 16, 2014, 03:32:37 PM
Willie Nelson:  Do you guys have a fan or something?  I'm just going to borrow it, I'm not going to keep it.
Master Shake:  You are the gayest Monster since Gay came to Gay Town!
Willie Nelson:  Whoooooa!  Easy!  Where's this coming from?
Master Shake:  No! Let's get down to it!  What I say is very baffling!

The Shaving:  Aqua Team Hunger Force
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Lucifargundam on March 16, 2014, 07:08:06 PM
Red Vs Blue:::
Simmons:  As the new leader, what I say goes. So everyone needs to start running, right now.
Grif:   But what about Sarge?
Simmons: You heard what Command said. Sarge is dead. He died of... what'd he die of?
Grif's Sister: Aspirin overdose.
Simmons: See, Sarge is dead of a- an Aspirin overdose? Really?
Grif's Sister: I know! I didn't think it was possible. And trust me, I've tried.
Simmons:  Yeah, wait- what?
 
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Barnes on March 16, 2014, 09:57:02 PM
"Look at the flowers."

Carol, The Walking Dead.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on March 17, 2014, 12:03:43 AM
Fry: *sniff-sniff*  Hey, what smells like blue?

Futurama
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Lucifargundam on March 17, 2014, 12:22:46 AM
Futurama::::
[At a robot strip club]
Bender (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0224007/):   Hubba-hubba! She is built. In Mexico, I believe.
Flexo (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0224007/):   And that ain't silicone, either. That's tungsten, and plenty of it.
Fry (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0921942/):   Uh, yeah. Look at that... exhaust fan.
Flexo (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0224007/), Bender (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0224007/):   Eww!
Bender (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0224007/):   Pervert.
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on March 20, 2014, 12:27:31 PM
Bender: Yeah, well, I'm gonna go build my own Amusement Park, with blackjack and hookers!  In fact, forget the park!

Futurama
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Lucifargundam on March 20, 2014, 01:59:16 PM
Bender: What do you mean "we", flesh-tube?

Futurama
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on March 28, 2014, 01:02:16 AM

Sterling Archer:     Lana.                       ... Lana!                                  ... LANAAAAAA!
Lana Kane:           WHAT?!?
Sterling Archer:     Danger Zone!   

H. Jon Benjamin / Aisha Tyler:  Archer
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Lucifargundam on April 05, 2014, 09:01:43 AM
Archer~Kreiger

Oh piggly 2....
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on April 10, 2014, 12:39:45 AM
Mordecai:  I always wanted to date a girl named "The Power".



Regular Show
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Kumoshi on April 15, 2014, 11:58:36 PM
You're the smartest man I know..... Waiting for you to chime in and say that's ridiculous.
- Joan Watson, to Sherlock Holmes (Elementary)
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on April 21, 2014, 12:11:57 AM
Dr. Zoidberg:  Friends!  Friends!  I have barnacles on my tukis!
Hermes:         Our long search is over.

Futureama
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Glitch on April 21, 2014, 11:07:51 PM
Jerry,I'm gonna personally make your pizza myself. *walks out of bathroom without washing hands.*
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Barnes on April 22, 2014, 12:15:44 AM
"Nice to meet you Rose, run for your life"

- The ninth Doctor, Doctor Who
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on April 24, 2014, 06:19:39 PM
Klause:      They say if you play it backwards, you can hear the voice of a dead kid!
Hailey:       Whoa...  ... wait?   How can you play Monopoly backwards?

American Dad
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Lucifargundam on April 26, 2014, 12:28:35 AM
"your logic escapes me.."
"well then you better go catch it!"
~Dilbert
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on April 28, 2014, 04:37:06 PM
Cleveland:   Donna took Rollo bowling and I had to take Junior and Roberta to Fudruckers.  But then We ...!
Lester:         Shut-up! Shut-up! Shut UP! SHUT UP!!!

The Cleveland show
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: Lucifargundam on May 19, 2014, 12:02:44 AM
Farscape amongst two hungover hederosexual men.


Now Chricton, get dressed.

I am dressed hunny...(looks down)
Ahhhhh!
Title: Re: The All Purpose Television Quote Thread.
Post by: G.I.R on October 21, 2014, 11:38:28 AM
Tina:     ...uuuuuuhhhhh!

Bob's Burgers